Peace & Blessings
Lu
Friday, February 29, 2008
Thursday, February 28, 2008
ARTHUR!!
Now you know...that you used to be stuck on this show...
This was my joint!
Arthur reminded me of myself...
he was fresh too! lol.
I was reminiscing...and I figured you should join me. lol
Hope it made you smile
Peace & Blessings
Lu
Sweet things...
I was talking to my mother today, and she told me that Rihanna and Chris Brown were now dating...
Of course I'd known this weeks ago, due to the hip hop sites I visit daily, but she reads her little Us magazine, and InTouches...so she may get the info late, but she gets it! My mom's hip...lol.
Right on...hahaha
jk. I love her.
Anyway, she informed me that they were together, and told me that she saw a picture of them on an island in a magazine she read...
She said it was so cute, because he was carrying her in the water, because she didn't want to get her hair wet...
she told me it reminded her of something I would do...
My mother knows me more than anybody on this Earth- more than I know myself. She's seen the girls I've been with, witnessed how I treated them- good or bad.
And I'm glad she can remind me...
Cuz sometimes I think that maybe I'm not as sweet as I think...
because some of the things I may have done for my exes were overlooked...
Started to be expected, rather than respected...
Some may have gotten so used to how I treated them, that it was no longer special to them...it was just normal behavior...
sweet things done were overlooked...
Which is why it was nothing for them to lose it/me...
But whatever. i'm not here to toot my horn...I just liked what my moms said...
She raised her boy right!
I may have backslided due to treatment in the past, but the good in me is back- has been for months...for good...no matter how bad I'm treated, it'll remain...
cuz i'd be damned if I joined the assholes out there again...the Earthlings...the normal that surround everywhere.
I'd be damned if I treat women like my father/step-father treated my mother. I'd be damned if I'd treat women like an asshole may treat my sisters one day.
I'll be damned.
Peace & Blessings
Lu
Of course I'd known this weeks ago, due to the hip hop sites I visit daily, but she reads her little Us magazine, and InTouches...so she may get the info late, but she gets it! My mom's hip...lol.
Right on...hahaha
jk. I love her.
Anyway, she informed me that they were together, and told me that she saw a picture of them on an island in a magazine she read...
She said it was so cute, because he was carrying her in the water, because she didn't want to get her hair wet...
she told me it reminded her of something I would do...
My mother knows me more than anybody on this Earth- more than I know myself. She's seen the girls I've been with, witnessed how I treated them- good or bad.
And I'm glad she can remind me...
Cuz sometimes I think that maybe I'm not as sweet as I think...
because some of the things I may have done for my exes were overlooked...
Started to be expected, rather than respected...
Some may have gotten so used to how I treated them, that it was no longer special to them...it was just normal behavior...
sweet things done were overlooked...
Which is why it was nothing for them to lose it/me...
But whatever. i'm not here to toot my horn...I just liked what my moms said...
She raised her boy right!
I may have backslided due to treatment in the past, but the good in me is back- has been for months...for good...no matter how bad I'm treated, it'll remain...
cuz i'd be damned if I joined the assholes out there again...the Earthlings...the normal that surround everywhere.
I'd be damned if I treat women like my father/step-father treated my mother. I'd be damned if I'd treat women like an asshole may treat my sisters one day.
I'll be damned.
Peace & Blessings
Lu
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Good Deedery- A mystery
So the other day, I was walking home in the rain as I came across a woman's wallet on the ground. It was opened on the floor, soaked. On first instinct, I snatched it up and looked around to see if there was anybody around who may have dropped it. The parking lot was empty; everybody was in their shelters- out of the rain. I opened the wallet, and saw nothing but a few cards inside. I pocketed it, and walked home.
When I reached my apartment, I rested the wallet on the coffee table, and tried to dry it off. As I explored some more, I realized that one of the cards was a social security card- something very important to have, and a hassle to replace. There was also a proof of identification card inside the wallet. I read the name to myself, Nancy Johnson*.
I knew that the girl would probably be going crazy right about now, looking everywhere for her misplaced wallet. I knew if I lost mine, I'd want it back. So I hopped on Facebook, the young world's tracking device/ Internet phenomenon, and searched her name.
One person came up, but her location was somewhere in California...
I hoped she hadn't gone back, yet.
I sent her a message about my finding, and called it George (west indian saying for leaving things be).
A day later, I had recieved no response, and the wallet was sitting in my room...
I refused to give up, because I KNOW the person who lost it wasn't going to give up looking...plus, what was I going to do with it?
I started to look through the things more thoroughly, and saw that her proof of identification card stated that it was for 16 and 17 year olds. I figured that she was probably a younger girl, and MySpace usually appeals to younger girls...
{sidenote: isn't that SAD? or is it 'happy'? do these two websites really run our lives?}
So I went to the computer lab in my apartment building, and typed her name into Google first, and searched her name on MySpace in another tab. As I waited for the MySpace results, I started to browse Google. Nothing came up, but weird articles with people who somehow had the same name. Unfortunately, there was no way to get in touch with her listed, or even know information that said if it was the right person.
I shifted my attention to MySpace. Again, there was only one person available under the same name. Ugh. I prayed that it was her. I clicked on her profile.
Her name was Nancy, and her profile was private. It showed her age, which was 16, and it showed her headline, which read: Somebody stole my wallet and purse! :- (
Her 'mood' was also showing, which stated she was sad.
There she was.
I immediately sent her a message telling her what I went through to find her, and how glad I was to find her, or who I thought was her. She sent me a response soon after that was one sentence long:
What does the wallet look like?
When I reached my apartment, I rested the wallet on the coffee table, and tried to dry it off. As I explored some more, I realized that one of the cards was a social security card- something very important to have, and a hassle to replace. There was also a proof of identification card inside the wallet. I read the name to myself, Nancy Johnson*.
I knew that the girl would probably be going crazy right about now, looking everywhere for her misplaced wallet. I knew if I lost mine, I'd want it back. So I hopped on Facebook, the young world's tracking device/ Internet phenomenon, and searched her name.
One person came up, but her location was somewhere in California...
I hoped she hadn't gone back, yet.
I sent her a message about my finding, and called it George (west indian saying for leaving things be).
A day later, I had recieved no response, and the wallet was sitting in my room...
I refused to give up, because I KNOW the person who lost it wasn't going to give up looking...plus, what was I going to do with it?
I started to look through the things more thoroughly, and saw that her proof of identification card stated that it was for 16 and 17 year olds. I figured that she was probably a younger girl, and MySpace usually appeals to younger girls...
{sidenote: isn't that SAD? or is it 'happy'? do these two websites really run our lives?}
So I went to the computer lab in my apartment building, and typed her name into Google first, and searched her name on MySpace in another tab. As I waited for the MySpace results, I started to browse Google. Nothing came up, but weird articles with people who somehow had the same name. Unfortunately, there was no way to get in touch with her listed, or even know information that said if it was the right person.
I shifted my attention to MySpace. Again, there was only one person available under the same name. Ugh. I prayed that it was her. I clicked on her profile.
Her name was Nancy, and her profile was private. It showed her age, which was 16, and it showed her headline, which read: Somebody stole my wallet and purse! :- (
Her 'mood' was also showing, which stated she was sad.
There she was.
I immediately sent her a message telling her what I went through to find her, and how glad I was to find her, or who I thought was her. She sent me a response soon after that was one sentence long:
What does the wallet look like?
I was taken aback until I realized that if some weird man sent me a random message about my headline, I'd be kind of reluctant to believe him, too...haha.
I explained that to her, and told her what the wallet looked like (black, and not obviously NOT designer...haha), then preceded to tell her what was inside the wallet as well. Her ID card, her SS card, her insurance card, and a Sonic Card with peel off deals and discounts.
A half an hour passed with no response.
I sent her another message- I guess I got the wrong person, huh?
Waited a few minutes...no response. So I left the lab and went to get something to eat.
I returned a little later to see if there was a response.
Yes.
She said that it was 'soooo hers', and she was glad I found it. She asked when I would be able to give it to her, and I told her as soon as she was ready for it. I gave her my number, and left the lab.
I felt great, and couldn't wait for her to be one with her belongings again...
About an hour later, she called me.
Hello?
Heyyyy! This is Nancy!
Oh, hey! How are you?
I’m fineeee…So do you think you could meet us at the gas station by Smitty’s?
Unfortunately, I don’t have my car down here, but I can ask my friend if he’ll take me. Or, you can come to Centennial!
A pause…
Okay, we’ll meet you at Centennial!
Bet. Just call me when you get here!
Okay!
She sounded soooo country on the phone! There was a faded picture of her on her Wild Adventures season pass, so I couldn’t really make out her looks..but she seemed to be one of those country girls raised in southern GA who wouldn’t look twice at a black guy except to make sure he wasn’t going to rob her.
That’s just an assumption though…
I changed my clothes…first impression! Nothing too fresh…a tee and some jeans.
I made sure everything was there, and stuffed the wallet in my back pocket. I got a ring ten minutes later.
Hey, we’re outside Centennial Hall.
Okay, I’ll be out there in a second.
I walked outside, and saw two white girls standing at the back of a Yukon. I looked around to see if anybody else could be the one…
Nope.
I called out, Wallet?
They smiled, and said huh?
I said are one of you missing a wallet?
The smile remained plastered on their faces as they walked up to me to retrieve the lost…
The owner of the wallet, a short girl with freckles- very pretty, thanked me. It felt like we were friends, yet not…She took the wallet and started to look inside of it. She explained to me how she left her car door open, and somebody went in there and took her purse and wallet. I screwed up my face and explained how much I hated theives. She agreed. She said it was stolen on Friday, the same day I found it.
Her friend, a gorgeous brunette, complained about the cold. I agreed. She stated that the world would be a better place if more people thought like me…I just smiled.
Before it could get any awkward, I told the ladies to have a great night, and proceeded to walk away after they thanked me again.
I told them it wasn't a problem at all...And I was glad I was the one to find it to return it...
They looked much older than 16...lol.
With a satisfied attitude, mystery solved, and a smile I returned to my apartment building, and got on a computer to see if she responded after I shot her my number. She didn't, but her new headline read 'I found my wallet! Thank you so much, Lucious!'
Her mood setting was changed to 'estatic'.
I was the fourth on her Top Friends list...
I smiled.
Everything happens for a reason...and there's always a bigger picture. Remember that. I may not know what the reason was for me finding the wallet and returning it, but she may know. Maybe she had a certain stereotype stuck in her head about African Americans, and I proved her wrong. Who knows? We are in the deep south...Maybe she felt the world was going to end and me giving her back her stuff made things better for her...
Who knows?
So thank God for the things that happen, the good, the bad...because he's the ultimate painter. He knows what he's doing, and every stroke means something- whether it seems to clash with the other colors or not. In the end, the picture will flow together, and it will be more beautiful than any of us can describe. Don't question God's strokes...just examine...
No problem, Nancy! :-)
Peace & Blessings
Lu
*Name has been changed, due to the issue of privacy.
Legs...
Alot of people have different fetishes...
Some people like toes (ugh)...
some people like lips...
some people like eyes...
arms...
backs...
teeth...
Some people like these things to the point that if there's a flaw in them, there would be no pursuing of a relationship.
My best friend likes him a backside...haha. (shout to Ry, even tho I know he'd never read my blog...lol)
He goes bananas over an "ass"...a "donk"...a "bum bum"...
Which is why me and him could never go to a strip club together.
I'd have a terrible time.
My other best friend loves him some blondies...lol. They can be ugly (sorry, Joe...), but if they're blonde...they're it.
Me...I have a weird fetish...
But it's been my fetish for as long as I can remember...
I don't know what it is about a woman's legs, but mmmmm...
It has nothing to do with what's between them, either...I promise.
But legs...they do something to me.
Long legs, but not too long...maybe even short legs, but not too short...
They get me.
Toned, and shaved, and smooth looking...
I can kiss on legs all day...and maybe it'll lead on to other kissable things...
But the legs is where it starts.
Mmm...
Which is probably the reason I find the this picture sooooo sexy...
And not the picture's in those magazines you men have stuffed under your bed...
So...if you have hairy legs, ladies...I'm sorry...but there is no chance. lol
Peace & Blessings
Lu
The Circus- I mean, library.
wow. On campus, our library is open to all...
why? IDK. It's fine with me, until weird people start to come to the library to masterbate (true story) and use the computers to MySpace while others are trying to get work done, or register for classes.
And then today I see two things that shock me.
A man is walking around the library with black shoes, weird blue jeans with white sneakers attached to them- laces included, which are unlaced and hanging down, a khaki Dickie top, a brown hat, and a light purple book bag...
I wouldn't say anything, who knows his story. Who knows?? Maybe his apartment burned down, and he has to get clothes and a bookbag for free from whomever? You gotta do what you gotta do to get where you wanna get. What, he should just NOT go to school cuz he doesn't look good? Nah...
That was fine.
And then I saw some man who was walking with his mouth open, head to the sky, breasts poking out of his shirt.
No, not what you think.
I know you see, and are used to the fat men who have 'man-boobs, but this man's chest looked like the chest of an older woman, nipples erect.
What
In
The
World
At the end of the day, these people have nothing on the short, elderly woman who's in the Internet Cafe EVERY day and night with an open can of beans, a way to heat them up, multiple energy drinks, and paper files FULL of papers...
I always wonder what shes doing.
She always smiles at you, and stares at you for a while, until you go elsewhere.
And don't let her see you do something, or hear something that she doesn't agree with!
She's scold you.
take it from ye who has experienced.
And how about the elderly man with pure white hair who rides his bike everywhere, book bag in tow. He breathes as if he has a hole in his throat, but it's always solid...
and he stares at you as well...
DO NOT sit by him if you're easily scared, or want to focus...lol.
I'll never get old in Valdosta...I don't want to end up like them.
Just picture it...
Yikes!
Peace & Blessings
Lu
why? IDK. It's fine with me, until weird people start to come to the library to masterbate (true story) and use the computers to MySpace while others are trying to get work done, or register for classes.
And then today I see two things that shock me.
A man is walking around the library with black shoes, weird blue jeans with white sneakers attached to them- laces included, which are unlaced and hanging down, a khaki Dickie top, a brown hat, and a light purple book bag...
I wouldn't say anything, who knows his story. Who knows?? Maybe his apartment burned down, and he has to get clothes and a bookbag for free from whomever? You gotta do what you gotta do to get where you wanna get. What, he should just NOT go to school cuz he doesn't look good? Nah...
That was fine.
And then I saw some man who was walking with his mouth open, head to the sky, breasts poking out of his shirt.
No, not what you think.
I know you see, and are used to the fat men who have 'man-boobs, but this man's chest looked like the chest of an older woman, nipples erect.
What
In
The
World
At the end of the day, these people have nothing on the short, elderly woman who's in the Internet Cafe EVERY day and night with an open can of beans, a way to heat them up, multiple energy drinks, and paper files FULL of papers...
I always wonder what shes doing.
She always smiles at you, and stares at you for a while, until you go elsewhere.
And don't let her see you do something, or hear something that she doesn't agree with!
She's scold you.
take it from ye who has experienced.
And how about the elderly man with pure white hair who rides his bike everywhere, book bag in tow. He breathes as if he has a hole in his throat, but it's always solid...
and he stares at you as well...
DO NOT sit by him if you're easily scared, or want to focus...lol.
I'll never get old in Valdosta...I don't want to end up like them.
Just picture it...
Yikes!
Peace & Blessings
Lu
I LOVE English!!! (Follow-up to 'I HATE ENGLISH')
lol...
I mean, I've always loved English...But if you read my previous blog, you'd see why I said I hated it at the time. I should still hate English...but I could never.
Plus, my ENG prof gave me hope...
the mid term test grades were released...
A-1
B-2
C-10
D-1
F-2
I was nervous as she passed back our tests, after giving a detailed description on why our grades were what they were.
I got mine, and viewed the grade in red.
pheeewww. lol
I did MUCH better than i thought, which is saaaaadddd.
I was one of the '1s and onlys'....you figure it out.
But anyway, after deep pondering about dropping the class, i decided to ask my prof about the issue...
I asked if I could possibly bring the grade up, since the rest of the semester would be easier- plus, I'd have the hang o the class.
She basically just told me that it wasn't looking too good, but there was a chance if I did what I needed to do- which is what I'm MORE than willing to do now.
She also left me with some words that changed my life...
She told me that I grasped the information well, but my examples were not enough- which was the case with ALOT of the students. This made me feel less stupid than I thought I was...haha. She also informed me that my introduction to the essay was one of the best out of 150 students!
Boy, did my heart swell like the Grinch's...lol.
That made me feel great, because when I write- I write to pull you in, AND feed information- not just the latter.
She also told me not to let the test score pull my mind away from the real priorities in life, because a grade doesn't determine the quality of your mind...which was proved in my essay.
wow. I paused, smiled, and told her that meant alot to me- because it did.
Maybe she's not as b-wordish as I thought...
So, I've officially dropped out of school to pursue my dreams of being an author, motivational speaker, and teacher. Follow my heart, right? Creativity is more important than any education I can get...
Sike.
Operation: Mother's crib on the beach is still in effect, people. Don't get your {insert underwear of choice here} in a bundle...
Peace & Blessings
Lu
I mean, I've always loved English...But if you read my previous blog, you'd see why I said I hated it at the time. I should still hate English...but I could never.
Plus, my ENG prof gave me hope...
the mid term test grades were released...
A-1
B-2
C-10
D-1
F-2
I was nervous as she passed back our tests, after giving a detailed description on why our grades were what they were.
I got mine, and viewed the grade in red.
pheeewww. lol
I did MUCH better than i thought, which is saaaaadddd.
I was one of the '1s and onlys'....you figure it out.
But anyway, after deep pondering about dropping the class, i decided to ask my prof about the issue...
I asked if I could possibly bring the grade up, since the rest of the semester would be easier- plus, I'd have the hang o the class.
She basically just told me that it wasn't looking too good, but there was a chance if I did what I needed to do- which is what I'm MORE than willing to do now.
She also left me with some words that changed my life...
She told me that I grasped the information well, but my examples were not enough- which was the case with ALOT of the students. This made me feel less stupid than I thought I was...haha. She also informed me that my introduction to the essay was one of the best out of 150 students!
Boy, did my heart swell like the Grinch's...lol.
That made me feel great, because when I write- I write to pull you in, AND feed information- not just the latter.
She also told me not to let the test score pull my mind away from the real priorities in life, because a grade doesn't determine the quality of your mind...which was proved in my essay.
wow. I paused, smiled, and told her that meant alot to me- because it did.
Maybe she's not as b-wordish as I thought...
So, I've officially dropped out of school to pursue my dreams of being an author, motivational speaker, and teacher. Follow my heart, right? Creativity is more important than any education I can get...
Sike.
Operation: Mother's crib on the beach is still in effect, people. Don't get your {insert underwear of choice here} in a bundle...
Peace & Blessings
Lu
CrAzY iN lOvE
"It seems you don't know what to do,So let me choose for yaCuz I don't wanna loseWho I'm Tom Cruise over..." -- Lucius McCall
Love is crazy...do I NEED to elaborate?
Peace & Blessings
Lu
Quote it!
"WE are what WE'VE been waiting for!" -- Obama (for president)
Change- We Can Believe In
Peace & Blessings
Lu
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Perez Hilton
I'm not a hater...actually far from it. But I dislike when people get what I WANT!
Very much!
Like this guy, Perez Hilton...
I envy him.
Know why?
He freaking has a tv show on the air- after being discovered by his blog talking about celebs- and all he does is interview 'divas'!
Do I want to do what he does?
Heck no.
But I envy him because he's so happy doing what he wants to do...
He loves celebs, shoot- he made a blog about them, and now he has
his own show interviewing them!
He loves it- you can tell!
And they love him!
It's amazing...
I already told ya'll what I'd LOVE to do...
Don't know how I would go about making that work though...at all.
It just seems like it comes so easy to some people...
He's blessed.
and quite entertaining...lol. I was hooked to the show.
But damn him to hell!
I define success as getting what you want by doing what you want.
Getting paid to write would be my success...
Will I be successful?
We'll just have to see...
big up to the successful, though...enjoy yourseves!
Peace & Blessings
Lu
Black Widow
As I sat in my room and procrastinated, watching Flavor of love and being disgusted- as usual, I saw something small moving very fast on the wall behind the TV.I jumped up quick, and headed over to kill it because I don't do bugs.
Especially bugs in V-town...haha. noooo.
The roaches down here are like citizens...word on me. They're as big as humans, and they walk around like they own the city. They fly too....
ugh.
Anyway, as I got closer I realized it was a spider. A tiny black spider.
I'm deathly scared of spiders...like, just looking at the pic above makes my skin crawl. If you want to see me scream like a girl, throw a tarantula at me or something. That'd just be evil, and I'd have no choice but to kill you, but you'd get your terrified scream out of me...haha.
This spider was special though- it had a red thing on it...
It was all black, with a stripe of red.
A black widow.
I froze for a second then I thought...'hey- it's wither her, or me.' lol
I'm not for killing bugs. I believe they're here for a reason, and they don't bother you unless they feel you bother them.
But once a bug is inside the house, I think you either kill it, or put it outside.
In this instance, I was not about to play with a black widow in order to get it outside.
SO I grabbed a shoe, and killed it.
But what if I never saw the spider?
What if I never killed it?
What if I went to sleep, and it crawled on me and bit me?
I'd be dead in days...
God is good, and I'm blessed...
God bless you.
Peace & Blessings
Lu
Unaffordable
Went to Wal-Mart yesterday...
Me and the crew were buying some supplies for the dinner we were cooking- Curry chicken and rice. Yum. lol
As I'm in Wal, I remember that she- yeah, her- wanted the Chrisette Michele CD sooo bad. I knew if we were in a relationship again, or at least on normal talking terms, that she's have it already. But ever since we've been done, I've just been chilling, holding myself back from that venue- going out of my way like i ALWAYS would.
This time I wouldn't be going out of my way, so I didn't think it mattered...
I needed batteries, so as I was grabbing some I started to look at the CDs...thinking about the smile she may give me as I surprise her.
Then a friend of mine told me that I couldn't afford it.
I didn't think twice- I walked away.
Then once again at check-out, I see some CDs, and one sticks out.
Chrisette's beautiful face...
I pick it up, and look at the back of the CD...witness all the great ((understatement)) music that was on the CD- most of it I've heard before.
$10
Not bad at all- especially considering how GOOD her music was.
Then onse again, a friend jokingly said "You can't afford it."
I mean, I could afford it, but it wasn't a neccesity- which is what I'm only trying to buy these days seeing that I don't have a steady income in college...
But it didn't matter...when you're heart's held hostage, nothing's ever an issue to make the holder smile...
Nothing.
Lucius= Living Proof, baby.
I was about to buy it, and then I thought deeper into it- as always.
Could I really afford this?
Could my heart afford this?
I could buy it, give it to her, see her smile
- then when would I hear from her again?
She doesn't want to be with me, so why should she be blessed with the things that come with? Just cuz I WANT to do it?
Cuz I really do...
That'd be stupid of me...very atupid of me...
And when it comes to my heart...I can't afford it.
A smile would be reciprocation enough, but would I even get that??
Would she get the idea that I'm going to be here forever- whenever she want's for something, but won't give me anything in return but sadness?
My heart can't afford it.
I screwed up my face and returned the CD to it's holder...
I think I'm learning...
Peace & Blessings
Lu
Me and the crew were buying some supplies for the dinner we were cooking- Curry chicken and rice. Yum. lol
As I'm in Wal, I remember that she- yeah, her- wanted the Chrisette Michele CD sooo bad. I knew if we were in a relationship again, or at least on normal talking terms, that she's have it already. But ever since we've been done, I've just been chilling, holding myself back from that venue- going out of my way like i ALWAYS would.
This time I wouldn't be going out of my way, so I didn't think it mattered...
I needed batteries, so as I was grabbing some I started to look at the CDs...thinking about the smile she may give me as I surprise her.
Then a friend of mine told me that I couldn't afford it.
I didn't think twice- I walked away.
Then once again at check-out, I see some CDs, and one sticks out.
Chrisette's beautiful face...
I pick it up, and look at the back of the CD...witness all the great ((understatement)) music that was on the CD- most of it I've heard before.
$10
Not bad at all- especially considering how GOOD her music was.
Then onse again, a friend jokingly said "You can't afford it."
I mean, I could afford it, but it wasn't a neccesity- which is what I'm only trying to buy these days seeing that I don't have a steady income in college...
But it didn't matter...when you're heart's held hostage, nothing's ever an issue to make the holder smile...
Nothing.
Lucius= Living Proof, baby.
I was about to buy it, and then I thought deeper into it- as always.
Could I really afford this?
Could my heart afford this?
I could buy it, give it to her, see her smile
- then when would I hear from her again?
She doesn't want to be with me, so why should she be blessed with the things that come with? Just cuz I WANT to do it?
Cuz I really do...
That'd be stupid of me...very atupid of me...
And when it comes to my heart...I can't afford it.
A smile would be reciprocation enough, but would I even get that??
Would she get the idea that I'm going to be here forever- whenever she want's for something, but won't give me anything in return but sadness?
My heart can't afford it.
I screwed up my face and returned the CD to it's holder...
I think I'm learning...
Peace & Blessings
Lu
Friday, February 22, 2008
Radiation
Yeah...got alot on my mind...
know I need to get it out on paper...
on print...
like this...uh
Allow me to vent some heat- call me a radiator
I only fight with words- literature's gladiator
Some say I’m mean, I try not to be
- it’s not my nature
Excuse my slouch, I got a sore back
- all due to traitors.
So now I watch who I let on deck of this ship Relation
I’m quick to cut a jerk off
- masturbation.
Instead of turning my back, I try to turn a cheek
- like to be humble, but I’m not too fond of the word humility.
I let down all my pride, but they don’t do the same for me
- thoughts of backsliding- but I refuse, somebody pray for me,
cause I hate to be humiliated,
but I try my best to take it
apologies are too belated,
you’re clearly not educated
- on the laws of respect,
but keep trying me, cuz I promise that
what you reap is what you get
- and what you see aint always what you get…
cuz words are maybes…
but it’s the deeds that make things definite.
I send shots that are way over your head
- something like Uncle Murder
I heard you want beef...
well, welcome to Mondo Burger!
Hatas say fuck Lu, got me losing NO sleep
they throw the middle finger, I throw peace... (hahaha)
Bellies yellow from letting cats throw their pee (pee-on!)
I show respect, then they throw it on me…damn
But to them, you can surely kiss where there's horseshoe printing
- for the slow scrubs, I’m talking bout the back of my True Religions.
Get it- but money will never, ever be my new religion
This bread's hard to come by, so i'm through feeding pigeons
You give her motivation, so don’t be mad when your chick end up missing
We kissing
In the location you gave us with her reasons
Sometimes I wonder if I’m focused on the wrong things
small things
Big picture, yet my eyes just focus on a dab of paint?
The pic I paint
- full of sorrow, every other week full of pain
all this rain,
but none of this dirt is washed away
- all of this love, but none of the hurt is washed away
it’s only God that keeps my life from being lost- due to rage.
But we know I’m too blessed to be stressed
And you are too,
but you let it get the best of you, and act brand new
succumb to the masses, the majority of asses
think you're something big, but actually- you're just a small package
These cats are wrapped up in themselves,
it’s like they're folded up (dig?)
I want to knock down their pillars
- the things that hold em up.
the pills, the high, the drinks, the pride, then replace with positivity
And I'm not perfect, but I do me perfectly
know I need to get it out on paper...
on print...
like this...uh
Allow me to vent some heat- call me a radiator
I only fight with words- literature's gladiator
Some say I’m mean, I try not to be
- it’s not my nature
Excuse my slouch, I got a sore back
- all due to traitors.
So now I watch who I let on deck of this ship Relation
I’m quick to cut a jerk off
- masturbation.
Instead of turning my back, I try to turn a cheek
- like to be humble, but I’m not too fond of the word humility.
I let down all my pride, but they don’t do the same for me
- thoughts of backsliding- but I refuse, somebody pray for me,
cause I hate to be humiliated,
but I try my best to take it
apologies are too belated,
you’re clearly not educated
- on the laws of respect,
but keep trying me, cuz I promise that
what you reap is what you get
- and what you see aint always what you get…
cuz words are maybes…
but it’s the deeds that make things definite.
I send shots that are way over your head
- something like Uncle Murder
I heard you want beef...
well, welcome to Mondo Burger!
Hatas say fuck Lu, got me losing NO sleep
they throw the middle finger, I throw peace... (hahaha)
Bellies yellow from letting cats throw their pee (pee-on!)
I show respect, then they throw it on me…damn
But to them, you can surely kiss where there's horseshoe printing
- for the slow scrubs, I’m talking bout the back of my True Religions.
Get it- but money will never, ever be my new religion
This bread's hard to come by, so i'm through feeding pigeons
You give her motivation, so don’t be mad when your chick end up missing
We kissing
In the location you gave us with her reasons
Sometimes I wonder if I’m focused on the wrong things
small things
Big picture, yet my eyes just focus on a dab of paint?
The pic I paint
- full of sorrow, every other week full of pain
all this rain,
but none of this dirt is washed away
- all of this love, but none of the hurt is washed away
it’s only God that keeps my life from being lost- due to rage.
But we know I’m too blessed to be stressed
And you are too,
but you let it get the best of you, and act brand new
succumb to the masses, the majority of asses
think you're something big, but actually- you're just a small package
These cats are wrapped up in themselves,
it’s like they're folded up (dig?)
I want to knock down their pillars
- the things that hold em up.
the pills, the high, the drinks, the pride, then replace with positivity
And I'm not perfect, but I do me perfectly
She fit my puzzle, and I do mean perfectly,
but I'm done with love for a while
- it keeps hurting me.
Love, I don't know if I was chasing she, or if she were chasing me
the running got us so confused, it just seemed that she was racing me
But I’m dead tired of running, the tennis shoes are off
After a massage, I’ll slide my feet in some slippers
made by Louis Vuitton... (i wish)
uh..
Love, I don't know if I was chasing she, or if she were chasing me
the running got us so confused, it just seemed that she was racing me
But I’m dead tired of running, the tennis shoes are off
After a massage, I’ll slide my feet in some slippers
made by Louis Vuitton... (i wish)
uh..
This may go over alot of your heads...
it's more than you think it is
gotta read it, and read it, again, again...
but I know you won't read it again, again...
so you'll never get an explanation
-just had to vent.
had ish on my mind, man...you can take it how you want- ask me for an explanation before ASSuming...digg it like a shovel, baby.
yeah
yeah
Still a ghostwriter for ghostwriters
Please...
get in touch
Peace & Blessings
Lu
get in touch
Peace & Blessings
Lu
The cookie monster
"Why'd you eat my mother fuckin cookie?! That was my last one! I told you about that, trick! I told you about eating my cookies! That was my last Macadamian nut, with white chocolate! Now you have to pay!"
:-)
Peace & Blessings
Lu
Jin- Open Letter to Obama
jin needs to get signed...
this is great- a song with substance that's standing for a cause.
I feel so bad that he was raped in the game...as most great artists are...
wow.
I'll never understand....
Peace & Blessings
Lu
DO NOT juggle bowling balls!
I'm sure that one say somebody will write a book full of the dos and don't of common sense.
DO NOT juggle bowling balls will surely be one of the rules...lol
Why? Watch
I apologize...but I couldn't help but laugh...it was so STUPID of him!
How much would you sue him for??
cuz there's no doubt in mind that you wouldn't...
HOW MUCH?? lol
make smart decisions, people...lol
Peace & Blessings
Lu
DO NOT juggle bowling balls will surely be one of the rules...lol
Why? Watch
I apologize...but I couldn't help but laugh...it was so STUPID of him!
How much would you sue him for??
cuz there's no doubt in mind that you wouldn't...
HOW MUCH?? lol
make smart decisions, people...lol
Peace & Blessings
Lu
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Humility
Oh, Lord...please bless me with more humility than I can bear...please.
Please.
Lately, I've been very humble, caring, understanding, and very nice- nicer than before. I used to just thinka bout myself, and not give a crap about anything, or anyone else...
I lived the fast life, and refused to be slowed down.
By anything.
But I found myself, and became very humble...
Tried to keep happiness and love flowing with my every move...
avoided beef and anger when unneccesary...
I became a really 'cool' guy...laid back...nice.
I've been trying to keep this, up...and I'm being tested every day.
I used to have anger problems. You'd never know if I never told you...
I call that progress.
Had to take a class and everything...
But I'm over that, and I'm very...chill...
I don't let things get to me as much...
But this is tested every day...
EVERY DAY.
Lord God in heaven- Jesus- please give me peace of mind, and let me hold it!
I walk into the library, and see my boy, and there's a girl sitting next to him. A bigger woman, not attractive in the least bit. I remember her from a party a couple weeks ago...she was with a group of women referred to as the 'gorilla women', because they seemed to be straight hoodratish. One was trying to fight, and her tracks needed replacing, colored contacts in, loud, obnoxious...blah blah blah...
Ghetto girls.
Not my thing.
I say what's up to my friend, and he asks me why I'm talking so loud.
I tell him its probably because I have my headphones on...
She- keep in mind, I've never talked to this girl in my life- says "Then why don't you take them off??" With a stern tone in her voice...
wow.
I mock her, continue to talk to my boy so she'll get the picture (picture= I DONT wanna talk to you...don't talk about me, cuz I don't know you)
I then walk away, feel her mugging my back (saw her mugging my front when I allowed her to), and I hear her loudly, and quite frankly say
"Why is he wearing a MOREHOUSE sweater, knowing damn well he don't go to MOREHOUSE?"
I'll kill her, and....
know what?
ouussaaa.
Maybe I'm over reacting...lol. I used to do that alot.
She talked to me a lil later with a nicer tone...so I guess it's good that I didn't lose it...lol.
Praise God.
Peace & Blessings
Lucius McCall
Please.
Lately, I've been very humble, caring, understanding, and very nice- nicer than before. I used to just thinka bout myself, and not give a crap about anything, or anyone else...
I lived the fast life, and refused to be slowed down.
By anything.
But I found myself, and became very humble...
Tried to keep happiness and love flowing with my every move...
avoided beef and anger when unneccesary...
I became a really 'cool' guy...laid back...nice.
I've been trying to keep this, up...and I'm being tested every day.
I used to have anger problems. You'd never know if I never told you...
I call that progress.
Had to take a class and everything...
But I'm over that, and I'm very...chill...
I don't let things get to me as much...
But this is tested every day...
EVERY DAY.
Lord God in heaven- Jesus- please give me peace of mind, and let me hold it!
I walk into the library, and see my boy, and there's a girl sitting next to him. A bigger woman, not attractive in the least bit. I remember her from a party a couple weeks ago...she was with a group of women referred to as the 'gorilla women', because they seemed to be straight hoodratish. One was trying to fight, and her tracks needed replacing, colored contacts in, loud, obnoxious...blah blah blah...
Ghetto girls.
Not my thing.
I say what's up to my friend, and he asks me why I'm talking so loud.
I tell him its probably because I have my headphones on...
She- keep in mind, I've never talked to this girl in my life- says "Then why don't you take them off??" With a stern tone in her voice...
wow.
I mock her, continue to talk to my boy so she'll get the picture (picture= I DONT wanna talk to you...don't talk about me, cuz I don't know you)
I then walk away, feel her mugging my back (saw her mugging my front when I allowed her to), and I hear her loudly, and quite frankly say
"Why is he wearing a MOREHOUSE sweater, knowing damn well he don't go to MOREHOUSE?"
I'll kill her, and....
know what?
ouussaaa.
Maybe I'm over reacting...lol. I used to do that alot.
She talked to me a lil later with a nicer tone...so I guess it's good that I didn't lose it...lol.
Praise God.
Peace & Blessings
Lucius McCall
I HATE English!!!!
Sike.
I could never...
English...I love it. Literature...I desire it. I love to play with words. Words are my life...
but why do I have to take a class about old old old dead dead dead men who wrote in broken old English that I can't understand? Why do I need to learn about the periods of Romanticism and Enlightment? Why? WHY?? Please explain!
Why do I need to read about a man who thought that cutting up and eating children and using their skin as gloves would help out the economy and cease the overpopulation?? Seriously?
Why do I need to read about crazy people who like spankings from their mother?
hmmm?
Why am I reading poetry that makes noooooooo sense?
Don't get me wrong...I respect it. I find it interesting. But if my prof was a lil bit less b-word ish...
just a lil.
I should post her syllabus on here...seriously...lol.
We just took the hardest test....
the 60 percent portion was an essay- 7 pages, a guarenteed A- about nonsense that will NOT help me in life. I B.S.ed as much as I could and got 2 full pages...ugh
We had a section where we had to identify quotes, and name the author as well as the name of the piece.
no, no list to choose from.
The hell? I don't even get the writing! So how can I pick and pull quotes from them?
Ugh...
I know it's mid term time...
I just want to tell all of you, you rule because you're already in school. Don't let school rule you.
And to those who just study the earth (particular person in mind :-) ), you rule too. Seriously. Don't let the earth rule you...
And also, remember that a test is only as good as when you took it...we never stop learning.
screw tests...ugh.
I swear if I didn't promise myself I'd get my mother a house on the beach, I'd be in a shack right now, just writing...lol.
My dream job is to just write books, teach high school Lit to help out the inner city children- or teach creative writing in college, and go speak to kids about life...and changing it. If I could get paid to do that....I'd be sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo happy! ugh!
But my dream is also to hand my mom the keys to her new full furnished place, maybe on the thousand islands...equipped with a Geoffery.
Therefore I must stay in school...lol
BTW, Shawty Lo's album Units in the City...great chill joint. Rest on it. He has a soothing flow...no homo. lol.
"I still got em 4 the L-O...
17.5, all you gotta do is hollow..."--Shawty Lo
Hmmmm....I could always "meet the white girl" and still get my mom that place...lol
'Frank Lucius'...how that sound? Get me my own movie...haha.
Go see American Gangster! please!
Peace & Blessings
Lucius McCall
I could never...
English...I love it. Literature...I desire it. I love to play with words. Words are my life...
but why do I have to take a class about old old old dead dead dead men who wrote in broken old English that I can't understand? Why do I need to learn about the periods of Romanticism and Enlightment? Why? WHY?? Please explain!
Why do I need to read about a man who thought that cutting up and eating children and using their skin as gloves would help out the economy and cease the overpopulation?? Seriously?
Why do I need to read about crazy people who like spankings from their mother?
hmmm?
Why am I reading poetry that makes noooooooo sense?
Don't get me wrong...I respect it. I find it interesting. But if my prof was a lil bit less b-word ish...
just a lil.
I should post her syllabus on here...seriously...lol.
We just took the hardest test....
the 60 percent portion was an essay- 7 pages, a guarenteed A- about nonsense that will NOT help me in life. I B.S.ed as much as I could and got 2 full pages...ugh
We had a section where we had to identify quotes, and name the author as well as the name of the piece.
no, no list to choose from.
The hell? I don't even get the writing! So how can I pick and pull quotes from them?
Ugh...
I know it's mid term time...
I just want to tell all of you, you rule because you're already in school. Don't let school rule you.
And to those who just study the earth (particular person in mind :-) ), you rule too. Seriously. Don't let the earth rule you...
And also, remember that a test is only as good as when you took it...we never stop learning.
screw tests...ugh.
I swear if I didn't promise myself I'd get my mother a house on the beach, I'd be in a shack right now, just writing...lol.
My dream job is to just write books, teach high school Lit to help out the inner city children- or teach creative writing in college, and go speak to kids about life...and changing it. If I could get paid to do that....I'd be sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo happy! ugh!
But my dream is also to hand my mom the keys to her new full furnished place, maybe on the thousand islands...equipped with a Geoffery.
Therefore I must stay in school...lol
BTW, Shawty Lo's album Units in the City...great chill joint. Rest on it. He has a soothing flow...no homo. lol.
"I still got em 4 the L-O...
17.5, all you gotta do is hollow..."--Shawty Lo
Hmmmm....I could always "meet the white girl" and still get my mom that place...lol
'Frank Lucius'...how that sound? Get me my own movie...haha.
Go see American Gangster! please!
Peace & Blessings
Lucius McCall
Sex in Satin Sheets
When you think of Sex in Satin Sheets, which image would you associate with it?
Peace & Blessings
Lucius McCall
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Newness
"[Verse 1]
Hey girl how you doing
Do you feel like talking?
Or do you need me to call you back (naw you cool)
You from round what way and when's your birthday
Or what's your zodiac sign (I'm an Aries)
Well I'm a Virgo so my sign's compatible (yeah)
We goin to get along just fine (I hope so)
What you do for fun (just chill)
cause I don't drink or club (me neither)
I just like to chill with somebody like you
[Chorus]
Everything is cool when love is all brand new
Cause you're learning me and I'm learning you (it's cool)
Cause you're learning me and I'm learning you
[Verse 2]
What type of work you do or are you still in school
Or do you have any kids (and if I did what?)
Now if you did its alright
See I'm the type that don't mind
Cause I can understand that things happen sometimes
By the way I 'm wondering (what) are you cool with your family
Cause I would like to meet your parents someday (yeah we could do that)
Lets hang out this weekend (umm we'll see)
Maybe we can begin something wonderful and beautiful cause
[Chorus]
[Bridge]
Girl it's so cool (yeaaah)
Talking with you (yeaaah)
It gets better every moment I spend with you
Girl you're so nice (nice)
And you so fine (so fine)
Plus you're real and that's just what I like
[Chorus]"
--Musiq Soulchild
Hey girl how you doing
Do you feel like talking?
Or do you need me to call you back (naw you cool)
You from round what way and when's your birthday
Or what's your zodiac sign (I'm an Aries)
Well I'm a Virgo so my sign's compatible (yeah)
We goin to get along just fine (I hope so)
What you do for fun (just chill)
cause I don't drink or club (me neither)
I just like to chill with somebody like you
[Chorus]
Everything is cool when love is all brand new
Cause you're learning me and I'm learning you (it's cool)
Cause you're learning me and I'm learning you
[Verse 2]
What type of work you do or are you still in school
Or do you have any kids (and if I did what?)
Now if you did its alright
See I'm the type that don't mind
Cause I can understand that things happen sometimes
By the way I 'm wondering (what) are you cool with your family
Cause I would like to meet your parents someday (yeah we could do that)
Lets hang out this weekend (umm we'll see)
Maybe we can begin something wonderful and beautiful cause
[Chorus]
[Bridge]
Girl it's so cool (yeaaah)
Talking with you (yeaaah)
It gets better every moment I spend with you
Girl you're so nice (nice)
And you so fine (so fine)
Plus you're real and that's just what I like
[Chorus]"
--Musiq Soulchild
Monday, February 18, 2008
Love on Layaway
Maybe I should kill him...
lol...but seriously.
In no way, shape, or form am I a murderer- nor do I wish to become one...
but seeing his face...
Everytime I see him, I want to walk over to him and question him...and if he gives me the wrong answer, just bang out...
But what would that solve?
Would I feel better after?
I mean, maybe....haha.
But it aint worth the lawyer fees...
Who's this man I speak of?
the man who was messing around with my ex behind my back...the man she felt the need to lie to me about...lie after lie after lie...having me doubt MY sight, and hearing...
I can be having a GREAT day, see him for a lil bit- and be fine.
But today I saw him enough times to think he was following me.
And everytime he looks at me, he looks as if he don't know the deal...
he knows.
He's not stupid...
I shouldn't let this bother me, and I usually don't...but I HATE that feeling of not knowing. I don't know exactly what happened with them, I can just guess...or listen to what she feels like telling me- and HOPE that what she says is truth.
Ugh.
Whatever...he aint me. nuff said...
I got nothing to worry about...
I just wanna know what went down...I'm still blind-folded to that...I HATE not knowing. HATE it...
She had a reason to do what she did though...not saying it was right- but she had a reason. More on that below...
The above is unimportant...just had to vent, and I chose to use you all as sinks to pour. Unfair, huh?
Let's move on to the reason I wanted to write this blog...
I watched a play on BET over the weekend, and surprisingly it was good! Why do I say surprisingly? Because all the previous plays they showed were terrible...plays full of ignorance that depicted blacks as loud idiots with no common sense...I strongly dislike plays like that.
I guess when you get hooked on Madea plays, everythign else is blahhhh...lol. But anyway, the name of the play was Love on Layaway, and it was about running with love. Whether people are running to it, or running from it...and the play showed 3 couples and 6 point of views perfectly. I'm going to share what stuck to me as the ending credits started to run...
Better Half
When an artist was moving into the apartment building, he met up with a woman who was having an arguement with her husband about marriage...blah blah blah. They met outside and started to speak. She asked him if it was just him moving in, or if there was a 'better half'. he immediately paused and looked at her.
He gathered his words and it flowed like this...
"Better half? I don't believe in having half of anything...
See a whole man deserves a whole woman. The way I figure, if all you are is somebody's better half, and something unfortunately happes to that half, then you're like...half of half. And that's a quarter...and nowadays there aint a whole lot a brotha can get with a quarter..."
Nuff said.
But let me comment...lol. That is sooo true...If you're not whole with yourself, you can't be with somebody else. Two half people can not work...because you'll be dependant on each other- which is fine. But you HAVE to be able to do for yourself. By yourself.
If you're doing bad, you don't need someone to assist you in doing worse. You can do bad all by yourself! Get good...then get girls/ boys.
Plus, half brothas and sistas are not that attractive...
Like my mans says- let a women compliment you, not complete you. It's like colors- but more on that in a blog soon to come.
This all leads back to the quote- "Don't ever make somebody your everything, because when they're gone you have nothing."
Word.
Too good to be true
There was a couple in the play, and the female was giving the male such a hard time, and all he wanted to do was make her happy and be with her.
Nobody understood until the end of the play where he decided to leave her alone, and she finally told him "I know I was being unfair to you. The only reason for that was because I thought you were too good to be true."
I've been there. I once met a woman who was stunning...To the point I told my boys about how gorgeous she was. I swear she was the most gorgeous woman I ever met in person.
Then to hand heaven in my hand, she started to dig me.
Then to make life EVEN better which I thought was impossible, she was perfect inside!
She was humble, caring, sweet, loyal, down to cater- EVERYTHING I ever wanted in a woman. Something you usually find in all the unattractive women, because the gorgeous want to be treated liek princesses and do what they do, because they know they can! You leave, and dozens of guys will be lined at the door.
She was perfect.
She was Miss Hollywood (see poem).
I didn't believe it.
In all my past relationships, there was a time when the girl was so good, so perfect...then they always hurt me because my heart was handed over on a platter. I trusted- maybe sometimes too soon without giving their make-up some time to fade.
So I was so scared of getting hurt again, and again, and again...
So I ran. I put my wall up, and refused to believe there was a such thing as a Miss Hollywood- what I've been searching for my whole life.
In the play, the woman said to the guy- "I decided to chase you away to keep you from leaving."
This is exactly what I did.
Some people may say it doesn't make sense! 'Chasing them away will just help them leave!'
True, but it'd be on your terms. YOU chased them away, it's YOUR fault their gone. If you chase something away, you can't get hurt...or so it seems at first.
Having them leave you after opening up to them and giving them all seems as if it'd hurt much more than you chasing them away...People don't want to endure that pain...
But then you wind up hurting them...
Trust, people...but keep one eye open like CVS.
If you find your Miss Hollywood, or Price Charming, don't chase them away!!! Please don't. It doesn't work, and you'll regret it in the end. Word is bond...cuz that's something that doesn't come easy, and when it's gone...it's gone.
Reason & Location
A man confronted the artist with suspicions that his girl may have cheated on him with the artist...the artist said nothing happened- but made it clear that something could have. The man was ready to fight, but the artist explained what is so true in most cases...
"Women are not like men. Women need a reason to cheat, men just need a location...Don't you realize that when you break a woman's heart, all you're doing is allowing another man the opportunity to mend it?"
Boosted.
In most cases, that's gospel. I know alot of men who just cheat for the hell of it, and it makes me sick...Because they break down the women doing what they do. A woman can be giving them EVERYTHING...and they still want more.
Women don't cheat for no reason unless they're whores...nuff said.
Do what you're supposed to do, fellas. LOVE your women...give them all you can- and more. If she's a real woman, and not a vagina, she'll appreciate that and reciprocate! There'll be no reason for her to stray and go elsewhere! if you're giving her 100%, and she's doing the same- how will you give anybody else anything else? If you put your all into something, what can you put elsewhere?? When you put all into something, there is nothing left to put elsewhere!
Church!
Don't give your women reasons to cheat, my brothas!
And women...don't cheat. lol. Just leave him...please.
Excuse the length, guys...lol. but I haven't blogged in so long...I has ALOT to release...haha. You gotta peep Come on paper to digg what I'm saying.
Peace & Blessings, my people
Lucius McCall
P.S. wow, some girl just walked up to the guy sitting beside me, asked his name, told him hers, then asked for his number! Wooooowww...I wish it was that easy!
lol...but seriously.
In no way, shape, or form am I a murderer- nor do I wish to become one...
but seeing his face...
Everytime I see him, I want to walk over to him and question him...and if he gives me the wrong answer, just bang out...
But what would that solve?
Would I feel better after?
I mean, maybe....haha.
But it aint worth the lawyer fees...
Who's this man I speak of?
the man who was messing around with my ex behind my back...the man she felt the need to lie to me about...lie after lie after lie...having me doubt MY sight, and hearing...
I can be having a GREAT day, see him for a lil bit- and be fine.
But today I saw him enough times to think he was following me.
And everytime he looks at me, he looks as if he don't know the deal...
he knows.
He's not stupid...
I shouldn't let this bother me, and I usually don't...but I HATE that feeling of not knowing. I don't know exactly what happened with them, I can just guess...or listen to what she feels like telling me- and HOPE that what she says is truth.
Ugh.
Whatever...he aint me. nuff said...
I got nothing to worry about...
I just wanna know what went down...I'm still blind-folded to that...I HATE not knowing. HATE it...
She had a reason to do what she did though...not saying it was right- but she had a reason. More on that below...
The above is unimportant...just had to vent, and I chose to use you all as sinks to pour. Unfair, huh?
Let's move on to the reason I wanted to write this blog...
I watched a play on BET over the weekend, and surprisingly it was good! Why do I say surprisingly? Because all the previous plays they showed were terrible...plays full of ignorance that depicted blacks as loud idiots with no common sense...I strongly dislike plays like that.
I guess when you get hooked on Madea plays, everythign else is blahhhh...lol. But anyway, the name of the play was Love on Layaway, and it was about running with love. Whether people are running to it, or running from it...and the play showed 3 couples and 6 point of views perfectly. I'm going to share what stuck to me as the ending credits started to run...
Better Half
When an artist was moving into the apartment building, he met up with a woman who was having an arguement with her husband about marriage...blah blah blah. They met outside and started to speak. She asked him if it was just him moving in, or if there was a 'better half'. he immediately paused and looked at her.
He gathered his words and it flowed like this...
"Better half? I don't believe in having half of anything...
See a whole man deserves a whole woman. The way I figure, if all you are is somebody's better half, and something unfortunately happes to that half, then you're like...half of half. And that's a quarter...and nowadays there aint a whole lot a brotha can get with a quarter..."
Nuff said.
But let me comment...lol. That is sooo true...If you're not whole with yourself, you can't be with somebody else. Two half people can not work...because you'll be dependant on each other- which is fine. But you HAVE to be able to do for yourself. By yourself.
If you're doing bad, you don't need someone to assist you in doing worse. You can do bad all by yourself! Get good...then get girls/ boys.
Plus, half brothas and sistas are not that attractive...
Like my mans says- let a women compliment you, not complete you. It's like colors- but more on that in a blog soon to come.
This all leads back to the quote- "Don't ever make somebody your everything, because when they're gone you have nothing."
Word.
Too good to be true
There was a couple in the play, and the female was giving the male such a hard time, and all he wanted to do was make her happy and be with her.
Nobody understood until the end of the play where he decided to leave her alone, and she finally told him "I know I was being unfair to you. The only reason for that was because I thought you were too good to be true."
I've been there. I once met a woman who was stunning...To the point I told my boys about how gorgeous she was. I swear she was the most gorgeous woman I ever met in person.
Then to hand heaven in my hand, she started to dig me.
Then to make life EVEN better which I thought was impossible, she was perfect inside!
She was humble, caring, sweet, loyal, down to cater- EVERYTHING I ever wanted in a woman. Something you usually find in all the unattractive women, because the gorgeous want to be treated liek princesses and do what they do, because they know they can! You leave, and dozens of guys will be lined at the door.
She was perfect.
She was Miss Hollywood (see poem).
I didn't believe it.
In all my past relationships, there was a time when the girl was so good, so perfect...then they always hurt me because my heart was handed over on a platter. I trusted- maybe sometimes too soon without giving their make-up some time to fade.
So I was so scared of getting hurt again, and again, and again...
So I ran. I put my wall up, and refused to believe there was a such thing as a Miss Hollywood- what I've been searching for my whole life.
In the play, the woman said to the guy- "I decided to chase you away to keep you from leaving."
This is exactly what I did.
Some people may say it doesn't make sense! 'Chasing them away will just help them leave!'
True, but it'd be on your terms. YOU chased them away, it's YOUR fault their gone. If you chase something away, you can't get hurt...or so it seems at first.
Having them leave you after opening up to them and giving them all seems as if it'd hurt much more than you chasing them away...People don't want to endure that pain...
But then you wind up hurting them...
Trust, people...but keep one eye open like CVS.
If you find your Miss Hollywood, or Price Charming, don't chase them away!!! Please don't. It doesn't work, and you'll regret it in the end. Word is bond...cuz that's something that doesn't come easy, and when it's gone...it's gone.
Reason & Location
A man confronted the artist with suspicions that his girl may have cheated on him with the artist...the artist said nothing happened- but made it clear that something could have. The man was ready to fight, but the artist explained what is so true in most cases...
"Women are not like men. Women need a reason to cheat, men just need a location...Don't you realize that when you break a woman's heart, all you're doing is allowing another man the opportunity to mend it?"
Boosted.
In most cases, that's gospel. I know alot of men who just cheat for the hell of it, and it makes me sick...Because they break down the women doing what they do. A woman can be giving them EVERYTHING...and they still want more.
Women don't cheat for no reason unless they're whores...nuff said.
Do what you're supposed to do, fellas. LOVE your women...give them all you can- and more. If she's a real woman, and not a vagina, she'll appreciate that and reciprocate! There'll be no reason for her to stray and go elsewhere! if you're giving her 100%, and she's doing the same- how will you give anybody else anything else? If you put your all into something, what can you put elsewhere?? When you put all into something, there is nothing left to put elsewhere!
Church!
Don't give your women reasons to cheat, my brothas!
And women...don't cheat. lol. Just leave him...please.
Excuse the length, guys...lol. but I haven't blogged in so long...I has ALOT to release...haha. You gotta peep Come on paper to digg what I'm saying.
Peace & Blessings, my people
Lucius McCall
P.S. wow, some girl just walked up to the guy sitting beside me, asked his name, told him hers, then asked for his number! Wooooowww...I wish it was that easy!
Friday, February 15, 2008
GOONS- Entry part 5
Wow.
It's Friday.
Still no cups.
lol...yes, it's funny now.
I spoke to my mother about it, and she told me to just take it as a loss, and take all my dishes out of the kitchen.
She said I can control how I act, but I can't control the actions of others.
Word.
My dishes are still in the kitchen though...because last night was the first night I saw anybody other than my room mate in the room...
And I would see him for seconds at a time since last wknd...IDK where he disappeared to. Dodging me, maybe because he knows he's wrong?
When I would see him, I would nod, and not say a word. He'd nod back.
I haven't seen the goons though...at all. Maybe they broke up...
That'd be sad...but what do you expect?
They were together 24/7...
ugh. I couldn't be with guys that much...
but you know what's funny?
Last night, my room mate speaks to me for the first time since he disappeared last Sat...and you know what he says?
"Ey, man...I still owe you those cups, huh?"
I look at him and say "Yeah."
he says, "Oh, yeah- I gotchu. I just forgot, bruh..."
How the hell you forget for a week?
But he don't foget about that book that I took from him to burn some cds for him right...that book that had some school notes in it...
he asks me "Ay, uh...your boy still got my book?"
I say "yeah" and walk away from him.
I wasn't gonna get it for him...no cups, no book. but I refuse to stoop to his level. He's pretty short...
my lil brother and a friend of mine got me some cups though...how sweet! That's love...it's the little things...you know?
At the end of the day, it's all material...I got loot, so I can get more- and when I do...It'll be in my room. I aint gonna get expelled cuz his mother, er- their mothers didn't raise em right.
That damn stench of dark alcohol is really getting to me, though. Makes me wanna throw up.
Their ugly girls don't make it any better though...
You ever seen a horsewoman?
No, Lucius [[slaps own hand]] Stop! 08 resolutions...not to make fun of people. Who knows their story...
well I might know it...
a woman found a horse attractive...and had a baby.
damn, i'm bothered. I can't blog now...lol. I'll be back. Sorry for the negativity.
Peace & Blessings
Lucius McCall
It's Friday.
Still no cups.
lol...yes, it's funny now.
I spoke to my mother about it, and she told me to just take it as a loss, and take all my dishes out of the kitchen.
She said I can control how I act, but I can't control the actions of others.
Word.
My dishes are still in the kitchen though...because last night was the first night I saw anybody other than my room mate in the room...
And I would see him for seconds at a time since last wknd...IDK where he disappeared to. Dodging me, maybe because he knows he's wrong?
When I would see him, I would nod, and not say a word. He'd nod back.
I haven't seen the goons though...at all. Maybe they broke up...
That'd be sad...but what do you expect?
They were together 24/7...
ugh. I couldn't be with guys that much...
but you know what's funny?
Last night, my room mate speaks to me for the first time since he disappeared last Sat...and you know what he says?
"Ey, man...I still owe you those cups, huh?"
I look at him and say "Yeah."
he says, "Oh, yeah- I gotchu. I just forgot, bruh..."
How the hell you forget for a week?
But he don't foget about that book that I took from him to burn some cds for him right...that book that had some school notes in it...
he asks me "Ay, uh...your boy still got my book?"
I say "yeah" and walk away from him.
I wasn't gonna get it for him...no cups, no book. but I refuse to stoop to his level. He's pretty short...
my lil brother and a friend of mine got me some cups though...how sweet! That's love...it's the little things...you know?
At the end of the day, it's all material...I got loot, so I can get more- and when I do...It'll be in my room. I aint gonna get expelled cuz his mother, er- their mothers didn't raise em right.
That damn stench of dark alcohol is really getting to me, though. Makes me wanna throw up.
Their ugly girls don't make it any better though...
You ever seen a horsewoman?
No, Lucius [[slaps own hand]] Stop! 08 resolutions...not to make fun of people. Who knows their story...
well I might know it...
a woman found a horse attractive...and had a baby.
damn, i'm bothered. I can't blog now...lol. I'll be back. Sorry for the negativity.
Peace & Blessings
Lucius McCall
You Say I- Part 2
You say I...
I say I...
We say I...
But who was I?
How many Is do you have?
In a former blog, I asked you to answer that question for me...
some people thought I meant "how many is do you have?", some thought I meant "how many eyes do you have?", and ALOT of people just disregarded it...which is fine. lol.
What I meant by it was exactly what I said. How many 'Is' do you have??
You may say "I'd never lie to you!", "I love you", "I want to have sex", "I've been working out", "I- this....", and "I- that..."
How many 'Is' do you have???
When you tell me "I'd never lie, or cheat on you"- Is that a different 'I' than when you did?
If you say "I don't like to drink to get drunk", and then you're throwing up booze on a Friday night- was this a different I?
Or when you say "I'm not a hoe!", but everytime you get that feeling- you GET sexual healing- FROM a different guy everytime...do you hold two different 'Is' that conflict?
How many 'Is' do you have?
Do you let these 'Is' control you?
It's funny, but it makes sense...we say 'I' alot, yet we have different moods on different days...So which 'I' is saying what? Which 'I' is the dominant? Or do you feel you just have one 'I'?
I honestly don't think anyone just has one 'I'...and I think our 'Is' change as time goes on...
This is deep to me, and I don't want to confuse you, so I'll just end it here...
But answer me.
How many 'Is' do you have?
Peace & Blessings
Lucius McCall
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Fab is back!
I was NOT feeling good today....
and then I got onto my hip hop website...
and saw this
So I downloaded it...
and enjoyed myself.
Mixtape is bananas.
Fab is back.
Oh, he's over rated???
you outta your mind...
must not know what hip hop is...
"you over an 8, you over the plate
send her over, send her over, I Red Rover your date
tell your boo boo don't get cookoo, don't head over the hate
you know how many people end up dead over they date?
she's a groupie! when I head over its late
then pull a Lupe- soon as the head's over, I skate (yeah)
I'm kick-pushin
leave they ass wishin
I just push for the head...you can say I'm mushing...."
"I'm gettin money, bitch- but I aint a cheddar tricker
I got that texas toast- meaning that my bread is thicker...
Niggas with mental loss can't forget I been a boss
Tryin me is like bunjeeing with dental floss...fucka!"
"They either throw salt, or think its nutmeg sweet
So I keep the heat where the stomach and the legs meet
Its 'Loso Croft'- you can call me Tomb Raider
We break in homes, we the living room raiders
Snatch wifey, come back for the groom later
Throw her in the back off the van like she on Room Raiders!
haha...the rookie niggas pay homage
The skillos throw the box at me like Vonage!"
wow...
hahahahahahahaha...and that aint the half...aint even the quarter!
watch out Lil Wayne...hahahahaha
hatas go listen to your soulja boy...it'll be okay, baby...
haha
Peace & BLessings
Lucius McCall
and then I got onto my hip hop website...
and saw this
So I downloaded it...
and enjoyed myself.
Mixtape is bananas.
Fab is back.
Oh, he's over rated???
you outta your mind...
must not know what hip hop is...
"you over an 8, you over the plate
send her over, send her over, I Red Rover your date
tell your boo boo don't get cookoo, don't head over the hate
you know how many people end up dead over they date?
she's a groupie! when I head over its late
then pull a Lupe- soon as the head's over, I skate (yeah)
I'm kick-pushin
leave they ass wishin
I just push for the head...you can say I'm mushing...."
"I'm gettin money, bitch- but I aint a cheddar tricker
I got that texas toast- meaning that my bread is thicker...
Niggas with mental loss can't forget I been a boss
Tryin me is like bunjeeing with dental floss...fucka!"
"They either throw salt, or think its nutmeg sweet
So I keep the heat where the stomach and the legs meet
Its 'Loso Croft'- you can call me Tomb Raider
We break in homes, we the living room raiders
Snatch wifey, come back for the groom later
Throw her in the back off the van like she on Room Raiders!
haha...the rookie niggas pay homage
The skillos throw the box at me like Vonage!"
wow...
hahahahahahahaha...and that aint the half...aint even the quarter!
watch out Lil Wayne...hahahahaha
hatas go listen to your soulja boy...it'll be okay, baby...
haha
Peace & BLessings
Lucius McCall
Valentine
Hey lady…
we’ve been talking for a minute now, and I uh…I’m getting these strange feelings for you that I honestly have never felt before….you came when I was down, you lifted me up- I appreciate it, but It’s more than that, I uh…
I don’t know…
It’s February…
And a special day is nearing…I…damn…I don’t know how to say this.
Looking at you made me lose everything I had to say- good thing I wrote it down…
Let me sing it to you, baby…uh…check it out.
Beautiful, would you be my Valentine?
If not for a life time;
Just for a day and night?
You deserve the treatment of a queen,
Every day, every week
- However often that you need.
Let me.
Hey gorgeous, would you be my Valentine?
If not for a life time;
Just for a day and night?
You deserve the treatment of a queen,
Every day, every week
- However often that you need.
Let me.
Baby if you need the treatment of a queen
from a king, who is me
-let me do it to you.
A picnic in the park,
A moonlit walk after dark;
We're loose wires- let's connect
I'd love to see a spark;
Cause’ I adore you, love
from your from your looks to your thoughts,
to the accent when you talk,
to the switch in your walk.
-Mesmerizing;
baby girl you hypnotize me;
Feelings shot through me like lightning,
so I couldn't let you just slide by me
So I’m asking…
Beautiful, would you be my Valentine?
If not for a life time;
Just for a day and night?
You deserve the treatment of a queen,
Every day, every week
- However often that you need.
Let me.
Hey gorgeous, would you be my Valentine?
If not for a life time;
Just for a day and night?
You deserve the treatment of a queen,
Every day, every week
- However often that you need.
Let me.
Why don’t we go out on the lawn,
And look up at the stars
-wait, that one’s moving- baby quick,
make a wish!
Thought we were in sprinklers, but its rain
Let’s get up and get out of its way,
but first, come here
- give me a kiss!
I don’t need sweets or chocolate,
Cause’ I already got it
-from the kiss from your lips to your toes.
Can’t keep these feelings bottled
It’s too much to even swallow
So I think it’s about time I let you know
(what I want)
Beautiful, would you be my Valentine?
If not for a life time;
Just for a day and night?
You deserve the treatment of a queen,
Every day, every week
- However often that you need.
Let me.
Hey gorgeous, would you be my Valentine?
If not for a life time;
Just for a day and night?
You deserve the treatment of a queen,
Every day, every week
- However often that you need.
Let me.
Some say this pen’s pouring out ink
I think it’s pouring out me
Some may think this letter’s crazy
Others may say this note is sweet
Well, my lady- I honestly think it’s crazy
I just hope that you think it’s sweet
Cause’ you’re honestly a dream, girl
You’re really from a dream!
Some say this pen’s pouring out ink
I think it’s pouring out me
Some may think this letter’s crazy
Others may say this note is sweet
Well, my lady- I honestly think it’s crazy
I just hope that you think it’s sweet
Cause’ you’re honestly a dream, girl
You’re really from a dream!
You know, baby…
that was hard. But seeing that smile on your face really makes me feel it was worth it…I’m embarrassed…oh, you thought that was cute? Haha… You can have so much more moments like this, baby. You brought my smile back- I owe you. I can make everyday Valentine’s day for you, baby.
If you let me.
Will you let me?
Beautiful, would you be my Valentine?
If not for a life time;
Just for a day and night?
You deserve the treatment of a queen,
Every day, every week
- However often that you need.
Let me...
You say I- Part 1
We had a conversation in my Creative Writing class that was thought prevoking.
Before we get into that, I want you to this about this question...
"How many Is do you have?"
Answer in the comment section
Peace & Blessings
Lucius McCall
Before we get into that, I want you to this about this question...
"How many Is do you have?"
Answer in the comment section
Peace & Blessings
Lucius McCall
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
YANK!
AAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!
Cash Camp has finally released their video after teasing us with a taste of what was to come with this:
I was excited...
and now...
the video is out.
Check it out, and enjoy.
I was kinda disappointed...I like the attempt at a plot...but the plot was stupid! lol
to me at least...
creative, but stupid.
I like how they mixed the teaser in there...I thought they wouldn't, but as you can see- they're on their game.
Sooooo...is it only me who caught that spectacle at the end?
Were they dissing Soulja boy?
These guys are known for throwing disses at people...
you see them in the Batman video throwing batman in the air and "making it fly"- got that info from a reliable primary source...
Then this?
I mean, I would be mad too...they made the damn soulja boy dance, toured with soulja boy for a lil- always in the back...
and now soulja boy is making millions- grammy nominated, and they have...nothing.
Whatever. Get your money, Cash Camp.
Its time to do my dance...its time to do my dance...
Peace & Blessings
Lucius McCall
Cash Camp has finally released their video after teasing us with a taste of what was to come with this:
I was excited...
and now...
the video is out.
Check it out, and enjoy.
I was kinda disappointed...I like the attempt at a plot...but the plot was stupid! lol
to me at least...
creative, but stupid.
I like how they mixed the teaser in there...I thought they wouldn't, but as you can see- they're on their game.
Sooooo...is it only me who caught that spectacle at the end?
Were they dissing Soulja boy?
These guys are known for throwing disses at people...
you see them in the Batman video throwing batman in the air and "making it fly"- got that info from a reliable primary source...
Then this?
I mean, I would be mad too...they made the damn soulja boy dance, toured with soulja boy for a lil- always in the back...
and now soulja boy is making millions- grammy nominated, and they have...nothing.
Whatever. Get your money, Cash Camp.
Its time to do my dance...its time to do my dance...
Peace & Blessings
Lucius McCall
Monday, February 11, 2008
Heartful words
There are hurtful words that ruin your day...
Then there are heartful words that make you think, smile- then have a great day.
These are as follows:
"Love the life you live, so you can live the life you love."
Ohh, I love literature. You see how a simple word flip can change a statement?!
"Make peace with yourself; then make peace with everyone around you."
"Let's stop the bullshitting...until we're all without sin, let's stop the pulpitting." -- Jay-Z
"Be compassionate and take responsibility for each other. If only we learned these lessons, this world would be a much better place. Love each other or die." -- Estee
"You yourself as much as anybody in the entire universe deserves your love and affection"--Buddah
"Peace begins with a smile."--Mother Teresa
"The most impotant things in life is to learn how to give out love- and to let it come in."
"Emancipate yourself from mental slavery; none but ourselves can free our minds."-- Bob Marley
"You have to live spherically...in many directions...never lose your childish enthusiasm and things will come your way!"
Big Shout to Estee :-)
'Two fingers in the sky'
Peace & Blessings
Lucius McCall
Then there are heartful words that make you think, smile- then have a great day.
These are as follows:
"Love the life you live, so you can live the life you love."
Ohh, I love literature. You see how a simple word flip can change a statement?!
"Make peace with yourself; then make peace with everyone around you."
"Let's stop the bullshitting...until we're all without sin, let's stop the pulpitting." -- Jay-Z
"Be compassionate and take responsibility for each other. If only we learned these lessons, this world would be a much better place. Love each other or die." -- Estee
"You yourself as much as anybody in the entire universe deserves your love and affection"--Buddah
"Peace begins with a smile."--Mother Teresa
"The most impotant things in life is to learn how to give out love- and to let it come in."
"Emancipate yourself from mental slavery; none but ourselves can free our minds."-- Bob Marley
"You have to live spherically...in many directions...never lose your childish enthusiasm and things will come your way!"
Big Shout to Estee :-)
'Two fingers in the sky'
Peace & Blessings
Lucius McCall
Bang Boys
I was walking to my apartment building when I saw two boys headed my way...
They looked younger...
they looked local.
As they got closer, I saw that one had a red bandanna wrapped around his head, and his clothes had red thread in them...
The older of the two.
I remembered watching a news special on Valdosta High School and it's gangs...about how they were initiating younger people and blah...
They got closer to me, the older one moved to the side on the sidewalk, and our eyes connected as he passed me.
He looked away as he adjusted his bandanna and they passed me...
I felt sorry for them.
Maybe I'm making assumptions, but what if my assumptions are right?
What if he is in a gang? What if his younger brother's looking up to him, and the gang life is all he knows?
I've been there- involved with gangs, and going the wrong way...
then I made a complete turn- peep the irony.
They were walking the opposite way of me...
Me- headed to my apartment to study,
Them- headed nowhere- fast?
I just wish I could turn them around and take them with me, and show them there is more to life than a red bandanna.
I remember when my bandanna was the most important thing to me...
You would fight over it, get overly angry if something were to happen to it.
A 'flag'...
And then I turned around and realized it was nothing but a 99 cent red piece of cloth...
I want to help kids who are in need of my help and inspiration. I want to turn them around so they can walk this way- walk with me.
No more of my little brothers will be lost to this war of colors and drugs...
I need to do something about it.
Peace & Blessings
Lucius McCall
They looked younger...
they looked local.
As they got closer, I saw that one had a red bandanna wrapped around his head, and his clothes had red thread in them...
The older of the two.
I remembered watching a news special on Valdosta High School and it's gangs...about how they were initiating younger people and blah...
They got closer to me, the older one moved to the side on the sidewalk, and our eyes connected as he passed me.
He looked away as he adjusted his bandanna and they passed me...
I felt sorry for them.
Maybe I'm making assumptions, but what if my assumptions are right?
What if he is in a gang? What if his younger brother's looking up to him, and the gang life is all he knows?
I've been there- involved with gangs, and going the wrong way...
then I made a complete turn- peep the irony.
They were walking the opposite way of me...
Me- headed to my apartment to study,
Them- headed nowhere- fast?
I just wish I could turn them around and take them with me, and show them there is more to life than a red bandanna.
I remember when my bandanna was the most important thing to me...
You would fight over it, get overly angry if something were to happen to it.
A 'flag'...
And then I turned around and realized it was nothing but a 99 cent red piece of cloth...
I want to help kids who are in need of my help and inspiration. I want to turn them around so they can walk this way- walk with me.
No more of my little brothers will be lost to this war of colors and drugs...
I need to do something about it.
Peace & Blessings
Lucius McCall
Goons- Entry part 4
The war has begun.
I texted my room mate a reminder- which I WAS NOT going to do, but my brother suggested it...I figured it was fair...
and Sat came...
no cups.
Sun came...
no cups.
Monday is here.
I have nothing to drink out of.
All my things in the kictchen are being removed and relocated.
Hope they have fun washing out their dishes now...
Sad it had to come to this.
It's all about respect.
Stay tuned.
Peace & Blessings
Lucius McCall
I texted my room mate a reminder- which I WAS NOT going to do, but my brother suggested it...I figured it was fair...
and Sat came...
no cups.
Sun came...
no cups.
Monday is here.
I have nothing to drink out of.
All my things in the kictchen are being removed and relocated.
Hope they have fun washing out their dishes now...
Sad it had to come to this.
It's all about respect.
Stay tuned.
Peace & Blessings
Lucius McCall
Friday, February 8, 2008
Goons- Entry part 3
Wow.
Excuse my French during this passage...
But the war shall begin soon...
The War of Respect
My navy blue mug has disappeared...
I ask my roomate about it...he has nothing to say...
It was my favorite cup...I drank my tea, and ate my crackers with it.
The shit is mine. Mine. Not his, not his goons...
Mine.
And now it's gone.
My roomate said he'd be making a trip to Wal-Mart to reimburse what is owed to me.
This was last week.
I asked him about my shit again, and told him I was struggling- real calm like. He says "you aint struggling" with a drunken smirk on his face.
What kinda fuckery?
When the only thing I have to drink out of is a damn measuring cup- I find that struggling.
Damn, I'm so mad.
Then I walk into the living room to put dishes in the sink, and some Lil Webbie looking fucker looks at me, then smiles at a goon at his side as if there's some inside joke going on. As if he finds me funny.
Well I find it funny that he finds me funny...word. lol. I'm laughing.
I had to deal with this bullshit in high school when I was the nice guy, and the school was filled with wanna-be thugs. They tried me, because they thought they could.
Well...thinking they could try me, got me 4 days of OSS.
Do I wanna get expelled?
No.
Do I wannna fight?
No.
Because I don't fight...if you push me to the point where I wanna fight you, I'm not going to fight you. I'm going to fuck you up.
Nuff said.
My room mate told me that he will get me my things on Sat.
I'll hold him to that.
he said that Thursday. Today is Friday.
If 12:00 hits tomorrow night, Sunday morning, and I don't have new cups, hand towels, and a mug...
The war for respect will begin.
No rules.
First I'ma remove allllll my shit from the kitchen. Who knows where I'll stash it, but they won't be able to use it.
They'll be forced to finally clean their dishes.
Niggers.
And if they have some shit to say about it?
They can come see me about it.
"If you don't like the shit, get you some straigtnin."-- one of the goons, the realest one.
These mother fuckers must take me as a joke.
Gangsters move in silence, and he who laughs last laughs best.
We'll see who's laughing soon.
Excuse the cursing...I'm really mad...
Lucius McCall
Excuse my French during this passage...
But the war shall begin soon...
The War of Respect
My navy blue mug has disappeared...
I ask my roomate about it...he has nothing to say...
It was my favorite cup...I drank my tea, and ate my crackers with it.
The shit is mine. Mine. Not his, not his goons...
Mine.
And now it's gone.
My roomate said he'd be making a trip to Wal-Mart to reimburse what is owed to me.
This was last week.
I asked him about my shit again, and told him I was struggling- real calm like. He says "you aint struggling" with a drunken smirk on his face.
What kinda fuckery?
When the only thing I have to drink out of is a damn measuring cup- I find that struggling.
Damn, I'm so mad.
Then I walk into the living room to put dishes in the sink, and some Lil Webbie looking fucker looks at me, then smiles at a goon at his side as if there's some inside joke going on. As if he finds me funny.
Well I find it funny that he finds me funny...word. lol. I'm laughing.
I had to deal with this bullshit in high school when I was the nice guy, and the school was filled with wanna-be thugs. They tried me, because they thought they could.
Well...thinking they could try me, got me 4 days of OSS.
Do I wanna get expelled?
No.
Do I wannna fight?
No.
Because I don't fight...if you push me to the point where I wanna fight you, I'm not going to fight you. I'm going to fuck you up.
Nuff said.
My room mate told me that he will get me my things on Sat.
I'll hold him to that.
he said that Thursday. Today is Friday.
If 12:00 hits tomorrow night, Sunday morning, and I don't have new cups, hand towels, and a mug...
The war for respect will begin.
No rules.
First I'ma remove allllll my shit from the kitchen. Who knows where I'll stash it, but they won't be able to use it.
They'll be forced to finally clean their dishes.
Niggers.
And if they have some shit to say about it?
They can come see me about it.
"If you don't like the shit, get you some straigtnin."-- one of the goons, the realest one.
These mother fuckers must take me as a joke.
Gangsters move in silence, and he who laughs last laughs best.
We'll see who's laughing soon.
Excuse the cursing...I'm really mad...
Lucius McCall
Cutissssss!
I know, it's old...
Bu ti heard the song today...
and had to post this hilarious footage
Curtisssssss!!!
made 50 look stupid!
Where the hell is Cam'ron?
Shoot me any info on that...lol.
Peace & BLessings
Lucius McCall
Bu ti heard the song today...
and had to post this hilarious footage
Curtisssssss!!!
made 50 look stupid!
Where the hell is Cam'ron?
Shoot me any info on that...lol.
Peace & BLessings
Lucius McCall
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
I'm Gay
"I'm Gay." Mel Gibson had to force the words out, and couldn't even look into the eyes of the pretty woman who was begging him to tell her the truth, or her truth- he didn't want her because he's gay.
This is why his sex was great, and he treated her so well- according to her.
She looked shocked, but relieved.
"Well how gay are you?"
"Oh," He paused, searching for an answer to fetch out of his sea of fibs. "I'm just about as gay as it gets!"
That was from What Women Want, if you haven't seen the movie...lol. It's a good movie, and I'm sure I looked homo sitting there and watching it- to the Earthlings.
I enjoyed the movie...and that particular part make me smirk, and it inspired me to write this entry.
"So many shots that I can't see straight
All these women around me cats still sayin he can't be straight
Give me ya girl and some platinum patron
When she come home you can ask her is me straight
She might smile alot but she won't speak much
Yawnin cause last night she ain't sleep much
She won't even talk about what we did
Just smile, close her eyes and say yes he issss..."
--Neyo
What is gay to you?
Years and years ago, when the Flinstones had new episodes every day, gay meant happy. You heard it in the theme song: "We'll have a gay old tiiiimmmmeeeeee!!!"
Somehow, as the years passed and many things changed- as they do, the word 'gay' took the place of the word homosexual...
In conclusion, gay has a new meaning. You can't walk up to your friend and say "Hey, let's get drunk and be gay!"
They'd look at you funny...
But now that the word has been explained, what makes a person gay? What makes a person a homosexual?
Usually, i mean in the past, homosexual meant a person who was attracted to the same sex, and engaged in sexual activities with the same sex...
Looking at the way a person acted could never really depict a person being gay, but since it's socially accepted nowadays, the media shows alot of gay- or those who seem to be gay- people.
So people take the traits of the 'gays' on television, and apply them to people in real life, and get it totally wrong...
What makes a person gay?
Is it not just being attracted to the same sex?
Or is it keeping yourself clean?
Is it dressing nice?
Is it hanging around females all the time?
Is it using the bathroom before you leave a venue?
Is it watching One Tree Hill?
Is it not loving to drink nasty things just to follow the crowd? Beer, and hard liquor, brown liquor- not drinking to get drunk, but sipping on something that tastes pleasant to give you a lil buzz?
Is it not trying to get into the pants of every woman you meet?
Is it being respectful?
Is it knowing how to treat a lady?
Is it wanting to go to the mall to shop?
Is it wearing a Peacoat?
Is it not playing sports?
Is it watching Sex in the City and laughing?
Is it giving your woman quality time instead of being with the boys all the time? (I'd rather be with a girl than a guy ANYTIME!)
Because if that's what it is, then by golly I must be one gay man! Shoot, I never knew- but the way I keep hearing over and over 'I thought you were gay when I met you', or 'if you didn't have a girl, I would have thought you were gay' makes me start to believe that I MUST be gay!
Believe it or not, the reasons above are reasons I've heard that marks a man 'gay'- plus dozens more. I find it so ignorant and close-minded that I can't help but laugh at the idiots.
so what about all the down low brothers who wear big clothes, and act masculine as hell? Playing football and wrestling, knowing that when they grabbed you there, it wasn't a mistake? Hmmmm? I know you've seen the Oprah special!
Never in my life have I been attracted to a male. No, it's just never been my thing. Ever. The only thing I may like about a guy is the clothes he wears. I'm attracted to freshness. Period.
Never in my life have I engaged in any sort of homosexual activity, or even thought about it. Never dreamed about it, never wondered how it would feel. It actually makes me sick to hear about it, or glance at it happening.
What? these internet pop-ups are sneaky, and I've been to The Love Shack. You know that back aisle of the DVDs? I stepped in there, and stepped out real quick. Big mistake.
I don't have a problem with gays. Not at all. The only people I hate and despise on this planet are the ignorant. Homosexuals can do as they please, as long as they don't bring it over to me. I actually have some gay friends. I don't judge. Just please don't step over that line with me...I love women.
My mother was a woman.
My sisters are women.
My exes are women.
I respect the woman...therefore I want the woman.
I don't even like to HANG with guys, what makes you think I'd wanna bang em?
Psssshhh. Please.
People say I'm in touch with my feminine side. What do you expect? I was raised by women- never had a father figure. Never had a dad to sit me down to watch a football game, never had a pop to take me outside to show me how to play. I have two sisters, a mother, an aunt, a grandmother- no two. What was I supposed to do? The dudes played suicide during recess, and I played power rangers with the girls. And?
I'm comfortable with my sexuality, so I can say what I want and do as I please- and not think I'm gay. Others may think so, but I don't. Men are so scared to open up and love, and I find it funny. Everybody is a human. Everybody has feelings. Being hard all the time is not sexy...at least not to the women I want.
Most of the people who read this will be college students. Embrace your college experience and open your eyes. Open your mind, expand your horizons. Get rid of this stupid high school mindframe...please. In high school you're trapped in a cage, and you see certain things and learn certain things. You are forced to believe what is shown, with no chance to find out things for yourself.
You're in college now. Find out.
Reboot yourself, and stop stereotyping everyone you see, because more times than not- you're WRONG. Keep your mouth closed, and let your eyes listen, because you need to be fully educated on people- besides the textbooks. Because when you go out in the real world...you'll be in for a rude awakening.
Plenty of people will look at the title of this, and just say 'I knew it!' without reading the first sentence.
Those are the ignorant.
If you reached the bottom of this post and read it all with an open mind, I thank you.
Peace & Blessings
Lucius McCall
This is why his sex was great, and he treated her so well- according to her.
She looked shocked, but relieved.
"Well how gay are you?"
"Oh," He paused, searching for an answer to fetch out of his sea of fibs. "I'm just about as gay as it gets!"
That was from What Women Want, if you haven't seen the movie...lol. It's a good movie, and I'm sure I looked homo sitting there and watching it- to the Earthlings.
I enjoyed the movie...and that particular part make me smirk, and it inspired me to write this entry.
"So many shots that I can't see straight
All these women around me cats still sayin he can't be straight
Give me ya girl and some platinum patron
When she come home you can ask her is me straight
She might smile alot but she won't speak much
Yawnin cause last night she ain't sleep much
She won't even talk about what we did
Just smile, close her eyes and say yes he issss..."
--Neyo
What is gay to you?
Years and years ago, when the Flinstones had new episodes every day, gay meant happy. You heard it in the theme song: "We'll have a gay old tiiiimmmmeeeeee!!!"
Somehow, as the years passed and many things changed- as they do, the word 'gay' took the place of the word homosexual...
In conclusion, gay has a new meaning. You can't walk up to your friend and say "Hey, let's get drunk and be gay!"
They'd look at you funny...
But now that the word has been explained, what makes a person gay? What makes a person a homosexual?
Usually, i mean in the past, homosexual meant a person who was attracted to the same sex, and engaged in sexual activities with the same sex...
Looking at the way a person acted could never really depict a person being gay, but since it's socially accepted nowadays, the media shows alot of gay- or those who seem to be gay- people.
So people take the traits of the 'gays' on television, and apply them to people in real life, and get it totally wrong...
What makes a person gay?
Is it not just being attracted to the same sex?
Or is it keeping yourself clean?
Is it dressing nice?
Is it hanging around females all the time?
Is it using the bathroom before you leave a venue?
Is it watching One Tree Hill?
Is it not loving to drink nasty things just to follow the crowd? Beer, and hard liquor, brown liquor- not drinking to get drunk, but sipping on something that tastes pleasant to give you a lil buzz?
Is it not trying to get into the pants of every woman you meet?
Is it being respectful?
Is it knowing how to treat a lady?
Is it wanting to go to the mall to shop?
Is it wearing a Peacoat?
Is it not playing sports?
Is it watching Sex in the City and laughing?
Is it giving your woman quality time instead of being with the boys all the time? (I'd rather be with a girl than a guy ANYTIME!)
Because if that's what it is, then by golly I must be one gay man! Shoot, I never knew- but the way I keep hearing over and over 'I thought you were gay when I met you', or 'if you didn't have a girl, I would have thought you were gay' makes me start to believe that I MUST be gay!
Believe it or not, the reasons above are reasons I've heard that marks a man 'gay'- plus dozens more. I find it so ignorant and close-minded that I can't help but laugh at the idiots.
so what about all the down low brothers who wear big clothes, and act masculine as hell? Playing football and wrestling, knowing that when they grabbed you there, it wasn't a mistake? Hmmmm? I know you've seen the Oprah special!
Never in my life have I been attracted to a male. No, it's just never been my thing. Ever. The only thing I may like about a guy is the clothes he wears. I'm attracted to freshness. Period.
Never in my life have I engaged in any sort of homosexual activity, or even thought about it. Never dreamed about it, never wondered how it would feel. It actually makes me sick to hear about it, or glance at it happening.
What? these internet pop-ups are sneaky, and I've been to The Love Shack. You know that back aisle of the DVDs? I stepped in there, and stepped out real quick. Big mistake.
I don't have a problem with gays. Not at all. The only people I hate and despise on this planet are the ignorant. Homosexuals can do as they please, as long as they don't bring it over to me. I actually have some gay friends. I don't judge. Just please don't step over that line with me...I love women.
My mother was a woman.
My sisters are women.
My exes are women.
I respect the woman...therefore I want the woman.
I don't even like to HANG with guys, what makes you think I'd wanna bang em?
Psssshhh. Please.
People say I'm in touch with my feminine side. What do you expect? I was raised by women- never had a father figure. Never had a dad to sit me down to watch a football game, never had a pop to take me outside to show me how to play. I have two sisters, a mother, an aunt, a grandmother- no two. What was I supposed to do? The dudes played suicide during recess, and I played power rangers with the girls. And?
I'm comfortable with my sexuality, so I can say what I want and do as I please- and not think I'm gay. Others may think so, but I don't. Men are so scared to open up and love, and I find it funny. Everybody is a human. Everybody has feelings. Being hard all the time is not sexy...at least not to the women I want.
Most of the people who read this will be college students. Embrace your college experience and open your eyes. Open your mind, expand your horizons. Get rid of this stupid high school mindframe...please. In high school you're trapped in a cage, and you see certain things and learn certain things. You are forced to believe what is shown, with no chance to find out things for yourself.
You're in college now. Find out.
Reboot yourself, and stop stereotyping everyone you see, because more times than not- you're WRONG. Keep your mouth closed, and let your eyes listen, because you need to be fully educated on people- besides the textbooks. Because when you go out in the real world...you'll be in for a rude awakening.
Plenty of people will look at the title of this, and just say 'I knew it!' without reading the first sentence.
Those are the ignorant.
If you reached the bottom of this post and read it all with an open mind, I thank you.
Peace & Blessings
Lucius McCall
GOONS pt 2.
Okay...well if you've stayed tuned, you know how I feel about my new room mate's friends/ my new room mates...
You know what they've done to me, or tried to do...
I just wanted to clear up something.
They're VERY smart...one of them- the "theif" (this is what others call him) has a 3.5 G.P.A.
The other one has alot of money, and I've debated with him- unbelieveably smart.
All of them are smart...in school....taking classes...doing their school thing.
The only thing they lack is respect, and attire to attract.
So don't think they're just straight goons that don't give an F about life...they do. They just look like goons while doing it...lol
The realest one is real cool with me...We had a heart 2 heart last night- no homo. More on that later.
Just had to set the record straight.
Peace & Blessings
Lucius McCall
You know what they've done to me, or tried to do...
I just wanted to clear up something.
They're VERY smart...one of them- the "theif" (this is what others call him) has a 3.5 G.P.A.
The other one has alot of money, and I've debated with him- unbelieveably smart.
All of them are smart...in school....taking classes...doing their school thing.
The only thing they lack is respect, and attire to attract.
So don't think they're just straight goons that don't give an F about life...they do. They just look like goons while doing it...lol
The realest one is real cool with me...We had a heart 2 heart last night- no homo. More on that later.
Just had to set the record straight.
Peace & Blessings
Lucius McCall
Come on paper...
I thank my sis for putting me onto this blog crap...
lol.
But seriously...Writing is my outlet, my escape. I love writing, I love words, I love literature.
...almost as much as I love music, but that's just a tease compared to writing, and putting my thoughts on paper- or the internet.
Stop reading...now! Stay out of my damn business, asshole!
jk...enjoy.
Life is like sex to me...my experiences, my friends, the time that goes by...etc.
It's all like a huge sexathon. Hours and hours of pounding, and pressing, and stroking, and rhythm...
Then, when I write, It's like I have an orgasm...a release...
Excuse me while I come- no condom.
If you think thet's a perverted way of thinking, how about life to me is like gallons and gallons of water that I drink all day, everyday. You know that feeling when you need to use the bathroom? Well picture that feeling, and you enduring that feeling until you finally get to a keyboard, or pen and paper.
Excuse me, while I lift the toilet seat and relieve myself.
Better? haha...
I blog for me, but I appreciate you reading, and I really appreciate those who comment. Thank you :-)
Excuse me while I grab a towel...the keyboard needs wiping.
Peace & Blessings
Lucius McCall
lol.
But seriously...Writing is my outlet, my escape. I love writing, I love words, I love literature.
...almost as much as I love music, but that's just a tease compared to writing, and putting my thoughts on paper- or the internet.
Stop reading...now! Stay out of my damn business, asshole!
jk...enjoy.
Life is like sex to me...my experiences, my friends, the time that goes by...etc.
It's all like a huge sexathon. Hours and hours of pounding, and pressing, and stroking, and rhythm...
Then, when I write, It's like I have an orgasm...a release...
Excuse me while I come- no condom.
If you think thet's a perverted way of thinking, how about life to me is like gallons and gallons of water that I drink all day, everyday. You know that feeling when you need to use the bathroom? Well picture that feeling, and you enduring that feeling until you finally get to a keyboard, or pen and paper.
Excuse me, while I lift the toilet seat and relieve myself.
Better? haha...
I blog for me, but I appreciate you reading, and I really appreciate those who comment. Thank you :-)
Excuse me while I grab a towel...the keyboard needs wiping.
Peace & Blessings
Lucius McCall
Quotations
It's crazy how quotes are...
Alot of us already know what the quotes are, and believe what they say- we just need someone to say it to us...
then we quote them.
It's all common sense, we just don't know how to word our feelings just right...
"Don't cry because it's over, smile beauce it happened..."
I try to live by this quote more and more everyday...
You never know what you have until it's gone...period. People get so used to people being around...they start to look at the things they don't like about a person instead of loving the good things about them...
They get so used to the good things, that it's no longer special...
It just becomes a 'normal' thing...
Expected, not respected...dig?
And that's where things go wrong...
My most recent relationship was something else...It sucks more than anyone knows that it's over. I get so worked up over it being done, that I don't sit back and realize that the important thing is- it happened. I experiecned some of the best times of my life...finally experienced love, and during that relationship I was molded into a MAN...
There were bad times, heart break- lies, cheating, and sneaking...but this happens with 99.5% of relationships. (yeah, i'm on my percent ish now...)
I used to run- run FAST- from a relationship, because I knew that since I wasn't ready to get married, the beginning of a relationship would one day face an END. And I didn't wanna deal with that...
I didn't want to fall in love with somebody, and then endure the pain after they left...
"When it's real, I'm all in it/
But I don't want the scars of love that you get when you fall in it..." --Fab
I've been hurt and hurt and hurt over and over again...who wants that?
But you live and you learn, and you evolve...there's SOOO much more to a relationship than the end. Enjoy the rest!
I also felt that a relationship would distract me from the more important things in life. Pshhhh...
Relationships are a big part of life...and If you have a great relationship with yourself, a relationship won't pull your mind off of what's priority. Period. There is a such thing as a balance, and will power. There is a such thing as a good partner, who won't allow you to be distracted...
I do know that when I have a lady in my life, I can't help but to give her 100% of me, though...
This is why I won't be in a relationship for a while, because I'm still in the frame of mind that if I have a woman...she'll take all my attention away from what's important- like what has happened again and again before.
I need to get right with myself, and complete myself so nothing can take my mind off of my goals, and plans- even my lady.
The sadness and anxiety of losing her starts to dissipate slowly...but surely.
"Now the question is
is to have had and lost
Better than not having all…"-- Jay-Z
I can't even eat soup without her crossing my mind. She used to drink the broth (ugh!) as I ate the soup...sad its gone, but glad it happened.
Can't even listen to R&B without her crossing my mind...remembering how we used to sing together...or I used to sing for her. I never sung for anybody before her, because I can't sing! lmao...sad it's gone, but glad it happened.
Can't watch Hairspray- her favorite movie, one of mine. Listening to Good Morning Baltimore will just make me daydream about her smile as she sung so loud and proud, the soundtrack that gave me chills.
Tingly sensation? Damnit- I'll have to live with this forever cuz I don't think anybody can satisfy me like she did. I was a head junkie, and she was the master supplier. Let's keep it funky...
Fantasies Fulfilled= sex with a schoolgirl.
The way she moaned Daddy...sad it's gone, but glad it happened.
Her editing of my work...She caught things nobody else could. She used to love my work- and show it...sad it's gone, but glad it happened.
I remember when we used to just act stupid and laugh...the laughs weren't forced...there was no tension, no baggage...we used to just enjoy each other's company and be sooooo spontaneous...carefree...sad it's gone, glad it happened.
Nights are cold now...Loved the way she would rest her head in her little "nook(sp?)", and throw her leg over my body, making us one...I reminisce on the crazy positions we would be in- yet we would be so comfortable! What kinda mess??
Sad it's gone, but glad it happened...
I never knew laughter until her...she was so stupid and quirky...
Sad it's gone...glad it happened...
Don't make assumptions of who it is...I've had many exes...let me vent!
For some reason, I still hold hope...and I choose not to quit until I know the game is over. Until I feel a sense of satisfaction...
Like the 08' Superbowl
Patriots VS Giants
Last 2 minutes...
If you saw it, you know how it turned out- and it amazed everyone watching.
Alot of people gave up on the Giants, just because they were losing and there was two minutes left in the game...
who cares??? the game wasn't over!
It aint over until the clock runs out- something the Patriots need to learn...
I would have taken my 1 second...screw the B.S.
I know the game's done...but I want a rematch. Still in denial that we've lost...
That's deep.
"Love is a journey that knows no end"
My Creative Writing prof said something funny today in class...it made me smirk. He took a trip to NY to meet up with a whole bunch of "famous authors" for some time, and he said he was upset that his girlfriend didn't come to see him. He said he wasn't surpised though...
"I'm probably already her ex boyfriend. She's not my ex girlfriend yet...Don't you hate that?!"
"awwwwwwws" erupted across the classroom.
I feel you, my brother...word.
In conclusion...
To all my ex girlfriends, I'm sad it's done- but glad it happened. Word.
(Oh, don't get me wrong! There's some out there I'm glaaaadddd I don't have to deal with your stupidness anymore! Ugh! Glad you're gone! But as far as the good times...I'm glad it happened.)
Peace & Blessings
Lucius McCall
Alot of us already know what the quotes are, and believe what they say- we just need someone to say it to us...
then we quote them.
It's all common sense, we just don't know how to word our feelings just right...
"Don't cry because it's over, smile beauce it happened..."
I try to live by this quote more and more everyday...
You never know what you have until it's gone...period. People get so used to people being around...they start to look at the things they don't like about a person instead of loving the good things about them...
They get so used to the good things, that it's no longer special...
It just becomes a 'normal' thing...
Expected, not respected...dig?
And that's where things go wrong...
My most recent relationship was something else...It sucks more than anyone knows that it's over. I get so worked up over it being done, that I don't sit back and realize that the important thing is- it happened. I experiecned some of the best times of my life...finally experienced love, and during that relationship I was molded into a MAN...
There were bad times, heart break- lies, cheating, and sneaking...but this happens with 99.5% of relationships. (yeah, i'm on my percent ish now...)
I used to run- run FAST- from a relationship, because I knew that since I wasn't ready to get married, the beginning of a relationship would one day face an END. And I didn't wanna deal with that...
I didn't want to fall in love with somebody, and then endure the pain after they left...
"When it's real, I'm all in it/
But I don't want the scars of love that you get when you fall in it..." --Fab
I've been hurt and hurt and hurt over and over again...who wants that?
But you live and you learn, and you evolve...there's SOOO much more to a relationship than the end. Enjoy the rest!
I also felt that a relationship would distract me from the more important things in life. Pshhhh...
Relationships are a big part of life...and If you have a great relationship with yourself, a relationship won't pull your mind off of what's priority. Period. There is a such thing as a balance, and will power. There is a such thing as a good partner, who won't allow you to be distracted...
I do know that when I have a lady in my life, I can't help but to give her 100% of me, though...
This is why I won't be in a relationship for a while, because I'm still in the frame of mind that if I have a woman...she'll take all my attention away from what's important- like what has happened again and again before.
I need to get right with myself, and complete myself so nothing can take my mind off of my goals, and plans- even my lady.
The sadness and anxiety of losing her starts to dissipate slowly...but surely.
"Now the question is
is to have had and lost
Better than not having all…"-- Jay-Z
I can't even eat soup without her crossing my mind. She used to drink the broth (ugh!) as I ate the soup...sad its gone, but glad it happened.
Can't even listen to R&B without her crossing my mind...remembering how we used to sing together...or I used to sing for her. I never sung for anybody before her, because I can't sing! lmao...sad it's gone, but glad it happened.
Can't watch Hairspray- her favorite movie, one of mine. Listening to Good Morning Baltimore will just make me daydream about her smile as she sung so loud and proud, the soundtrack that gave me chills.
Tingly sensation? Damnit- I'll have to live with this forever cuz I don't think anybody can satisfy me like she did. I was a head junkie, and she was the master supplier. Let's keep it funky...
Fantasies Fulfilled= sex with a schoolgirl.
The way she moaned Daddy...sad it's gone, but glad it happened.
Her editing of my work...She caught things nobody else could. She used to love my work- and show it...sad it's gone, but glad it happened.
I remember when we used to just act stupid and laugh...the laughs weren't forced...there was no tension, no baggage...we used to just enjoy each other's company and be sooooo spontaneous...carefree...sad it's gone, glad it happened.
Nights are cold now...Loved the way she would rest her head in her little "nook(sp?)", and throw her leg over my body, making us one...I reminisce on the crazy positions we would be in- yet we would be so comfortable! What kinda mess??
Sad it's gone, but glad it happened...
I never knew laughter until her...she was so stupid and quirky...
Sad it's gone...glad it happened...
Don't make assumptions of who it is...I've had many exes...let me vent!
For some reason, I still hold hope...and I choose not to quit until I know the game is over. Until I feel a sense of satisfaction...
Like the 08' Superbowl
Patriots VS Giants
Last 2 minutes...
If you saw it, you know how it turned out- and it amazed everyone watching.
Alot of people gave up on the Giants, just because they were losing and there was two minutes left in the game...
who cares??? the game wasn't over!
It aint over until the clock runs out- something the Patriots need to learn...
I would have taken my 1 second...screw the B.S.
I know the game's done...but I want a rematch. Still in denial that we've lost...
That's deep.
"Love is a journey that knows no end"
My Creative Writing prof said something funny today in class...it made me smirk. He took a trip to NY to meet up with a whole bunch of "famous authors" for some time, and he said he was upset that his girlfriend didn't come to see him. He said he wasn't surpised though...
"I'm probably already her ex boyfriend. She's not my ex girlfriend yet...Don't you hate that?!"
"awwwwwwws" erupted across the classroom.
I feel you, my brother...word.
In conclusion...
To all my ex girlfriends, I'm sad it's done- but glad it happened. Word.
(Oh, don't get me wrong! There's some out there I'm glaaaadddd I don't have to deal with your stupidness anymore! Ugh! Glad you're gone! But as far as the good times...I'm glad it happened.)
Peace & Blessings
Lucius McCall
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
I know love...
New J.Holiday!
Exclusive!
Piffery...
"You say the love was gone a long time ago
so why did you stay so long?
If you knew the deal, shoulda let me know
Why did you keep holding on?
Girl you put so much into me,
and I put so much in you
I don't gotta teach nobody me,
I don't gotta learn nobody new
And I know you gon' trip when I come home late without calling
I be expecting that
Whether I'm rich, or broke, hugging or fussing, girl you rolling
I'll take nothing less than that
I know looooovvveeee
has its ups and downs
And I know way to muuucccchh
to go and duck out now
So why would we give this uuuuupppp
just to go sleeping around?
You know me better than the back of your hand,
so don't you ever turn your back on this man
These nights are getting colder...
without that round thing beside me
Come upstairs and let me hold ya...
Oh baby, why would you deny me?
Girl I know you want it too
Because you love the things I do
-to you
And I know you gon' trip when I come home late without calling
I be expecting that
Whether I'm rich, or broke, hugging or fussing, girl you rolling
I'll take nothing less than that
I know looooovvveeee
has its ups and downs
And I know way to muuucccchh
to go and duck out now
So why would we give this uuuuupppp
just to go sleeping around?
You know me better than the back of your hand
so don't you ever turn your back on this man (baby ooohhh)..."
--J. Holiday
I Know Love
Ne-yo...where you at, brother? Don't get replaced.......lol.
Never that.
Peace & Blessings
Lucius McCall
Exclusive!
Piffery...
"You say the love was gone a long time ago
so why did you stay so long?
If you knew the deal, shoulda let me know
Why did you keep holding on?
Girl you put so much into me,
and I put so much in you
I don't gotta teach nobody me,
I don't gotta learn nobody new
And I know you gon' trip when I come home late without calling
I be expecting that
Whether I'm rich, or broke, hugging or fussing, girl you rolling
I'll take nothing less than that
I know looooovvveeee
has its ups and downs
And I know way to muuucccchh
to go and duck out now
So why would we give this uuuuupppp
just to go sleeping around?
You know me better than the back of your hand,
so don't you ever turn your back on this man
These nights are getting colder...
without that round thing beside me
Come upstairs and let me hold ya...
Oh baby, why would you deny me?
Girl I know you want it too
Because you love the things I do
-to you
And I know you gon' trip when I come home late without calling
I be expecting that
Whether I'm rich, or broke, hugging or fussing, girl you rolling
I'll take nothing less than that
I know looooovvveeee
has its ups and downs
And I know way to muuucccchh
to go and duck out now
So why would we give this uuuuupppp
just to go sleeping around?
You know me better than the back of your hand
so don't you ever turn your back on this man (baby ooohhh)..."
--J. Holiday
I Know Love
Ne-yo...where you at, brother? Don't get replaced.......lol.
Never that.
Peace & Blessings
Lucius McCall
VOTE!
Take it from him, take it from me...
VOTE.
WE can make change...
so let's do it!
stop complaining and get on it!
My absentee is in.
Where is your vote?
Peace & Blessings
Lucius McCall
Monday, February 4, 2008
I dare you...
I dare you to watch this and not fantasize...
not get turned on...
I dare you. lol.
I couldn't do it.
Please believe that I'm taking notes, until I perfect allllll a that.
"No, I am not addicted to sex
but girl I guarentee that if you lay with me
you just might be..."--Neyo
Peace & Blessings
Lucius McCall
not get turned on...
I dare you. lol.
I couldn't do it.
Please believe that I'm taking notes, until I perfect allllll a that.
"No, I am not addicted to sex
but girl I guarentee that if you lay with me
you just might be..."--Neyo
Peace & Blessings
Lucius McCall
GOONS
Now I've wanted to write on this subject for some time now...
but I kept putting it off...
over and over...
over and over...
why? because I'm not the type to stereotype. I'm not the close-minded type that says you are a certain way because of your appearance.
I've been a victim of that, and I don't like it- therefore I try not to do it to others.
But I've started to call a dog a dog.
I'm currently...........furious.
I'm not ranting and raging though, I know how to hold my anger...
can't say the same about my liquor, but that's another story.
haha...jk
had to try to lighten up the mood a lil.
I'm furious...
I'm a very, very, very lenient, patient, loving, caring, and understanding guy...
very.
Some people take this kind trait for weakness.
No, actually alot of people...
Let's get into this...you know how I am, but I'll try to keep it short.
About a month ago, my roomate got a new group of friends. If you looked at these guys, you would think "gangsters who weren't going anywhere in life."
Goons.
I started to think this too, because I never saw them go to class. I saw them go outside to smoke, I saw them drinking every day literally- whiskey and brandy (ugh), I heard the type of music they listened to when they would play music at the highest volume at 3 in the morning, saw how they talked about and treated women, and I talked to them.
I realized who I was dealing with when I asked one of them if he was a gangster, and he hopped out of his seat so quick and looked at me as if I tried (disrespected) him. He then gave me this long speech of how he was a "certified gangster and goon", and how he had stripes in the streets of Bankhead Court.
"If you unn like it, get some straightnin!"
It's funny how he turned out to be the coolest one...always respected me.
But that's beside the point.
All of a sudden things started to disappear...
Things like my apple juice- I had a huge bottle that i bought with my last couple of dollars, and i wrapped it in a bag so it would be separate from everything else in the fridge- so nobody with common sense would open it up. I didn't even have a full cup from it. When I was ready for my cup, it was gone.
I had four plastic cups- copped em from the Wal world- they went with my plate and bowl set. When the goons would come over, they would open my damn cupboard, take my damn cups, pour their damn drink in it, drink it- who knows where their lips have been- and put it in the damn sink.
Did they wash it? Do they wash it? No.
And the FUNNY thing is as follows:
All my cups are now gone- to God knows where- and they are now using my measuring cup to drink whatever.
wow.
it amazes me.
they can surely use my room mate's (their host) cups! But they don't want to. They know I'm going to clean, and reclean my cups, so they just keep using them, while I try to keep things clean like a maid. It got to the point where I started to wash my dishes, and realized I didn't even use the dishes I was washing- for days!
So I said forget it...
The next day surprised me. My dishes were cleaned by my room mate.
Respect.
I thanked him, and let him know I appreciated it.
If there was a choice between washing a damn cup, or using a measuring cup- what would you choose?
My glasses- It took for one to break with me present to realize they were all gone. I had several glasses. How many do I have now?
0
One day as I left to hit up the club, I saw one of the dreads shaking up something in a cup- container that my grandmother gave to me and specifically told me to take care of. I left, thought about it, and then returned to tell him to make sure he doesn’t lose that cup because it was my grandmother’s.
The next day I couldn’t find the cup. Anywhere.
Days went by, and I finally decided to text my room mate about respect…and what’s been going on as if he didn’t know.
Days later, the container was returned to me.
Why would you take it out of the apartment you got it from??? It’s not yours!
Now that’s just the least of it- a little of my problems, not even all. Things escalated when my friends’ things started to disappear.
I gave them the benefit of the doubt, but then realized that none of this B.S. happened before they came and took over the apartment. I thought I met 3 other people to live with in the apartment with me. Not 7…
But anyway, a female friend of mine came over to chill and we went next door to study because it was too loud in the apartment- even though me and my friends were there first, and it was pretty simple to see that we were studying- if you had common sense.
We returned to the room…
Her Ipod disappeared…
The goons were gone.
She threw a fit upon the goons’ return to the apartment, and they got angry and started to defend themselves- with no legit defense!
Long story short, there was a lot of yelling and one of them nearly fought me because I stepped in between him and a girl that he seemed close to putting his hands on. I handled the situation maturely, and this is why I am still in school.
She got the Ipod back, but why was it taken in the first place? Taken to a club at that…?
I threw a party for my lil brother, and a guest’s camera disappeared. They said that they never saw it, and didn’t have it…
She looked everywhere else…
The camera has still not been retrieved.
My Alize’ that I paid 20 dollars for that I left in the freezer disappeared. I got it back, after changing my attitude for a little bit, and thinking about blowing up if I didn’t get my bottle back, or my dub…
It’s in the freezer in my room now. The deal is- I shouldn’t have to do that to ensure the safety of my items.
I shouldn’t have to change my attitude to get respect.
Especially when I show them the utmost respect, no matter HOW they look or act.
My lil brother overheard them talking, and he said the conversation went like this:
“Ay, did you really lose it, or you knew where it was the whole time?”
“I knew where that shit was…”
Huh? Why?
I tried to give the benefit of the doubt, time after time- until I opened the community fridge and saw my lil brother's birthday cake missing.
Okay. That didn't set it off.
I looked in the sink and saw the container, with one more piece left inside.
Also inside was a small bowl with the bone of a wing inside of it.
Okay. That didn't set it off.
What set it off the most was the fact that I wanted a DAMN piece of the freaking cake!! God, I wish I could curse, but looking ignorant is an allergy of mine.
jk...what set it off was the lack of the respect that is issued to a man who does nothing but respect everyone.
I've had enough.
If I have to be a damn goon for a night to get respect, and keep my ish- AND get it back, then I will have to...
not.
There's a way I can handle it maturely without stooping to their level...
And the most hood one out of all of em who's been in and out of jail shows me so much love...so much respect...
It's funny how cookies crumble.
Ugh.
Back to the room...
stay tuned
Peace & Blessings
Lucius McCall
but I kept putting it off...
over and over...
over and over...
why? because I'm not the type to stereotype. I'm not the close-minded type that says you are a certain way because of your appearance.
I've been a victim of that, and I don't like it- therefore I try not to do it to others.
But I've started to call a dog a dog.
I'm currently...........furious.
I'm not ranting and raging though, I know how to hold my anger...
can't say the same about my liquor, but that's another story.
haha...jk
had to try to lighten up the mood a lil.
I'm furious...
I'm a very, very, very lenient, patient, loving, caring, and understanding guy...
very.
Some people take this kind trait for weakness.
No, actually alot of people...
Let's get into this...you know how I am, but I'll try to keep it short.
About a month ago, my roomate got a new group of friends. If you looked at these guys, you would think "gangsters who weren't going anywhere in life."
Goons.
I started to think this too, because I never saw them go to class. I saw them go outside to smoke, I saw them drinking every day literally- whiskey and brandy (ugh), I heard the type of music they listened to when they would play music at the highest volume at 3 in the morning, saw how they talked about and treated women, and I talked to them.
I realized who I was dealing with when I asked one of them if he was a gangster, and he hopped out of his seat so quick and looked at me as if I tried (disrespected) him. He then gave me this long speech of how he was a "certified gangster and goon", and how he had stripes in the streets of Bankhead Court.
"If you unn like it, get some straightnin!"
It's funny how he turned out to be the coolest one...always respected me.
But that's beside the point.
All of a sudden things started to disappear...
Things like my apple juice- I had a huge bottle that i bought with my last couple of dollars, and i wrapped it in a bag so it would be separate from everything else in the fridge- so nobody with common sense would open it up. I didn't even have a full cup from it. When I was ready for my cup, it was gone.
I had four plastic cups- copped em from the Wal world- they went with my plate and bowl set. When the goons would come over, they would open my damn cupboard, take my damn cups, pour their damn drink in it, drink it- who knows where their lips have been- and put it in the damn sink.
Did they wash it? Do they wash it? No.
And the FUNNY thing is as follows:
All my cups are now gone- to God knows where- and they are now using my measuring cup to drink whatever.
wow.
it amazes me.
they can surely use my room mate's (their host) cups! But they don't want to. They know I'm going to clean, and reclean my cups, so they just keep using them, while I try to keep things clean like a maid. It got to the point where I started to wash my dishes, and realized I didn't even use the dishes I was washing- for days!
So I said forget it...
The next day surprised me. My dishes were cleaned by my room mate.
Respect.
I thanked him, and let him know I appreciated it.
If there was a choice between washing a damn cup, or using a measuring cup- what would you choose?
My glasses- It took for one to break with me present to realize they were all gone. I had several glasses. How many do I have now?
0
One day as I left to hit up the club, I saw one of the dreads shaking up something in a cup- container that my grandmother gave to me and specifically told me to take care of. I left, thought about it, and then returned to tell him to make sure he doesn’t lose that cup because it was my grandmother’s.
The next day I couldn’t find the cup. Anywhere.
Days went by, and I finally decided to text my room mate about respect…and what’s been going on as if he didn’t know.
Days later, the container was returned to me.
Why would you take it out of the apartment you got it from??? It’s not yours!
Now that’s just the least of it- a little of my problems, not even all. Things escalated when my friends’ things started to disappear.
I gave them the benefit of the doubt, but then realized that none of this B.S. happened before they came and took over the apartment. I thought I met 3 other people to live with in the apartment with me. Not 7…
But anyway, a female friend of mine came over to chill and we went next door to study because it was too loud in the apartment- even though me and my friends were there first, and it was pretty simple to see that we were studying- if you had common sense.
We returned to the room…
Her Ipod disappeared…
The goons were gone.
She threw a fit upon the goons’ return to the apartment, and they got angry and started to defend themselves- with no legit defense!
Long story short, there was a lot of yelling and one of them nearly fought me because I stepped in between him and a girl that he seemed close to putting his hands on. I handled the situation maturely, and this is why I am still in school.
She got the Ipod back, but why was it taken in the first place? Taken to a club at that…?
I threw a party for my lil brother, and a guest’s camera disappeared. They said that they never saw it, and didn’t have it…
She looked everywhere else…
The camera has still not been retrieved.
My Alize’ that I paid 20 dollars for that I left in the freezer disappeared. I got it back, after changing my attitude for a little bit, and thinking about blowing up if I didn’t get my bottle back, or my dub…
It’s in the freezer in my room now. The deal is- I shouldn’t have to do that to ensure the safety of my items.
I shouldn’t have to change my attitude to get respect.
Especially when I show them the utmost respect, no matter HOW they look or act.
My lil brother overheard them talking, and he said the conversation went like this:
“Ay, did you really lose it, or you knew where it was the whole time?”
“I knew where that shit was…”
Huh? Why?
I tried to give the benefit of the doubt, time after time- until I opened the community fridge and saw my lil brother's birthday cake missing.
Okay. That didn't set it off.
I looked in the sink and saw the container, with one more piece left inside.
Also inside was a small bowl with the bone of a wing inside of it.
Okay. That didn't set it off.
What set it off the most was the fact that I wanted a DAMN piece of the freaking cake!! God, I wish I could curse, but looking ignorant is an allergy of mine.
jk...what set it off was the lack of the respect that is issued to a man who does nothing but respect everyone.
I've had enough.
If I have to be a damn goon for a night to get respect, and keep my ish- AND get it back, then I will have to...
not.
There's a way I can handle it maturely without stooping to their level...
And the most hood one out of all of em who's been in and out of jail shows me so much love...so much respect...
It's funny how cookies crumble.
Ugh.
Back to the room...
stay tuned
Peace & Blessings
Lucius McCall
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