Love on Layaway

Maybe I should kill him...
lol...but seriously.
In no way, shape, or form am I a murderer- nor do I wish to become one...
but seeing his face...
Everytime I see him, I want to walk over to him and question him...and if he gives me the wrong answer, just bang out...
But what would that solve?
Would I feel better after?
I mean, maybe....haha.
But it aint worth the lawyer fees...
Who's this man I speak of?
the man who was messing around with my ex behind my back...the man she felt the need to lie to me about...lie after lie after lie...having me doubt MY sight, and hearing...
I can be having a GREAT day, see him for a lil bit- and be fine.
But today I saw him enough times to think he was following me.
And everytime he looks at me, he looks as if he don't know the deal...
he knows.
He's not stupid...
I shouldn't let this bother me, and I usually don't...but I HATE that feeling of not knowing. I don't know exactly what happened with them, I can just guess...or listen to what she feels like telling me- and HOPE that what she says is truth.
Ugh.
Whatever...he aint me. nuff said...
I got nothing to worry about...
I just wanna know what went down...I'm still blind-folded to that...I HATE not knowing. HATE it...
She had a reason to do what she did though...not saying it was right- but she had a reason. More on that below...

The above is unimportant...just had to vent, and I chose to use you all as sinks to pour. Unfair, huh?
Let's move on to the reason I wanted to write this blog...
I watched a play on BET over the weekend, and surprisingly it was good! Why do I say surprisingly? Because all the previous plays they showed were terrible...plays full of ignorance that depicted blacks as loud idiots with no common sense...I strongly dislike plays like that.
I guess when you get hooked on Madea plays, everythign else is blahhhh...lol. But anyway, the name of the play was Love on Layaway, and it was about running with love. Whether people are running to it, or running from it...and the play showed 3 couples and 6 point of views perfectly. I'm going to share what stuck to me as the ending credits started to run...

Better Half
When an artist was moving into the apartment building, he met up with a woman who was having an arguement with her husband about marriage...blah blah blah. They met outside and started to speak. She asked him if it was just him moving in, or if there was a 'better half'. he immediately paused and looked at her.
He gathered his words and it flowed like this...
"Better half? I don't believe in having half of anything...
See a whole man deserves a whole woman. The way I figure, if all you are is somebody's better half, and something unfortunately happes to that half, then you're like...half of half. And that's a quarter...and nowadays there aint a whole lot a brotha can get with a quarter..."
Nuff said.
But let me comment...lol. That is sooo true...If you're not whole with yourself, you can't be with somebody else. Two half people can not work...because you'll be dependant on each other- which is fine. But you HAVE to be able to do for yourself. By yourself.
If you're doing bad, you don't need someone to assist you in doing worse. You can do bad all by yourself! Get good...then get girls/ boys.
Plus, half brothas and sistas are not that attractive...
Like my mans says- let a women compliment you, not complete you. It's like colors- but more on that in a blog soon to come.
This all leads back to the quote- "Don't ever make somebody your everything, because when they're gone you have nothing."
Word.

Too good to be true
There was a couple in the play, and the female was giving the male such a hard time, and all he wanted to do was make her happy and be with her.
Nobody understood until the end of the play where he decided to leave her alone, and she finally told him "I know I was being unfair to you. The only reason for that was because I thought you were too good to be true."
I've been there. I once met a woman who was stunning...To the point I told my boys about how gorgeous she was. I swear she was the most gorgeous woman I ever met in person.
Then to hand heaven in my hand, she started to dig me.
Then to make life EVEN better which I thought was impossible, she was perfect inside!
She was humble, caring, sweet, loyal, down to cater- EVERYTHING I ever wanted in a woman. Something you usually find in all the unattractive women, because the gorgeous want to be treated liek princesses and do what they do, because they know they can! You leave, and dozens of guys will be lined at the door.
She was perfect.
She was Miss Hollywood (see poem).
I didn't believe it.
In all my past relationships, there was a time when the girl was so good, so perfect...then they always hurt me because my heart was handed over on a platter. I trusted- maybe sometimes too soon without giving their make-up some time to fade.
So I was so scared of getting hurt again, and again, and again...
So I ran. I put my wall up, and refused to believe there was a such thing as a Miss Hollywood- what I've been searching for my whole life.
In the play, the woman said to the guy- "I decided to chase you away to keep you from leaving."
This is exactly what I did.
Some people may say it doesn't make sense! 'Chasing them away will just help them leave!'
True, but it'd be on your terms. YOU chased them away, it's YOUR fault their gone. If you chase something away, you can't get hurt...or so it seems at first.
Having them leave you after opening up to them and giving them all seems as if it'd hurt much more than you chasing them away...People don't want to endure that pain...
But then you wind up hurting them...
Trust, people...but keep one eye open like CVS.
If you find your Miss Hollywood, or Price Charming, don't chase them away!!! Please don't. It doesn't work, and you'll regret it in the end. Word is bond...cuz that's something that doesn't come easy, and when it's gone...it's gone.

Reason & Location
A man confronted the artist with suspicions that his girl may have cheated on him with the artist...the artist said nothing happened- but made it clear that something could have. The man was ready to fight, but the artist explained what is so true in most cases...
"Women are not like men. Women need a reason to cheat, men just need a location...Don't you realize that when you break a woman's heart, all you're doing is allowing another man the opportunity to mend it?"
Boosted.
In most cases, that's gospel. I know alot of men who just cheat for the hell of it, and it makes me sick...Because they break down the women doing what they do. A woman can be giving them EVERYTHING...and they still want more.
Women don't cheat for no reason unless they're whores...nuff said.
Do what you're supposed to do, fellas. LOVE your women...give them all you can- and more. If she's a real woman, and not a vagina, she'll appreciate that and reciprocate! There'll be no reason for her to stray and go elsewhere! if you're giving her 100%, and she's doing the same- how will you give anybody else anything else? If you put your all into something, what can you put elsewhere?? When you put all into something, there is nothing left to put elsewhere!
Church!
Don't give your women reasons to cheat, my brothas!
And women...don't cheat. lol. Just leave him...please.

Excuse the length, guys...lol. but I haven't blogged in so long...I has ALOT to release...haha. You gotta peep Come on paper to digg what I'm saying.

Peace & Blessings, my people
Lucius McCall

P.S. wow, some girl just walked up to the guy sitting beside me, asked his name, told him hers, then asked for his number! Wooooowww...I wish it was that easy!

GOONS- Entry part 5

Wow.
It's Friday.
Still no cups.
lol...yes, it's funny now.
I spoke to my mother about it, and she told me to just take it as a loss, and take all my dishes out of the kitchen.
She said I can control how I act, but I can't control the actions of others.
Word.
My dishes are still in the kitchen though...because last night was the first night I saw anybody other than my room mate in the room...
And I would see him for seconds at a time since last wknd...IDK where he disappeared to. Dodging me, maybe because he knows he's wrong?
When I would see him, I would nod, and not say a word. He'd nod back.
I haven't seen the goons though...at all. Maybe they broke up...
That'd be sad...but what do you expect?
They were together 24/7...
ugh. I couldn't be with guys that much...
but you know what's funny?
Last night, my room mate speaks to me for the first time since he disappeared last Sat...and you know what he says?
"Ey, man...I still owe you those cups, huh?"
I look at him and say "Yeah."
he says, "Oh, yeah- I gotchu. I just forgot, bruh..."
How the hell you forget for a week?
But he don't foget about that book that I took from him to burn some cds for him right...that book that had some school notes in it...
he asks me "Ay, uh...your boy still got my book?"
I say "yeah" and walk away from him.
I wasn't gonna get it for him...no cups, no book. but I refuse to stoop to his level. He's pretty short...
my lil brother and a friend of mine got me some cups though...how sweet! That's love...it's the little things...you know?
At the end of the day, it's all material...I got loot, so I can get more- and when I do...It'll be in my room. I aint gonna get expelled cuz his mother, er- their mothers didn't raise em right.
That damn stench of dark alcohol is really getting to me, though. Makes me wanna throw up.
Their ugly girls don't make it any better though...
You ever seen a horsewoman?
No, Lucius [[slaps own hand]] Stop! 08 resolutions...not to make fun of people. Who knows their story...
well I might know it...
a woman found a horse attractive...and had a baby.
damn, i'm bothered. I can't blog now...lol. I'll be back. Sorry for the negativity.

Peace & Blessings
Lucius McCall

You Say I- Part 2

You say I...
I say I...
We say I...
But who was I?

How many Is do you have?

In a former blog, I asked you to answer that question for me...
some people thought I meant "how many is do you have?", some thought I meant "how many eyes do you have?", and ALOT of people just disregarded it...which is fine. lol.

What I meant by it was exactly what I said. How many 'Is' do you have??

You may say "I'd never lie to you!", "I love you", "I want to have sex", "I've been working out", "I- this....", and "I- that..."
How many 'Is' do you have???

When you tell me "I'd never lie, or cheat on you"- Is that a different 'I' than when you did?
If you say "I don't like to drink to get drunk", and then you're throwing up booze on a Friday night- was this a different I?
Or when you say "I'm not a hoe!", but everytime you get that feeling- you GET sexual healing- FROM a different guy everytime...do you hold two different 'Is' that conflict?

How many 'Is' do you have?
Do you let these 'Is' control you?

It's funny, but it makes sense...we say 'I' alot, yet we have different moods on different days...So which 'I' is saying what? Which 'I' is the dominant? Or do you feel you just have one 'I'?

I honestly don't think anyone just has one 'I'...and I think our 'Is' change as time goes on...

This is deep to me, and I don't want to confuse you, so I'll just end it here...
But answer me.
How many 'Is' do you have?

Peace & Blessings
Lucius McCall

Fab is back!

I was NOT feeling good today....
and then I got onto my hip hop website...
and saw this

So I downloaded it...
and enjoyed myself.
Mixtape is bananas.
Fab is back.

Oh, he's over rated???

you outta your mind...
must not know what hip hop is...

"you over an 8, you over the plate
send her over, send her over, I Red Rover your date
tell your boo boo don't get cookoo, don't head over the hate
you know how many people end up dead over they date?
she's a groupie! when I head over its late
then pull a Lupe- soon as the head's over, I skate (yeah)
I'm kick-pushin
leave they ass wishin
I just push for the head...you can say I'm mushing...."

"I'm gettin money, bitch- but I aint a cheddar tricker
I got that texas toast- meaning that my bread is thicker...
Niggas with mental loss can't forget I been a boss
Tryin me is like bunjeeing with dental floss...fucka!"

"They either throw salt, or think its nutmeg sweet
So I keep the heat where the stomach and the legs meet
Its 'Loso Croft'- you can call me Tomb Raider
We break in homes, we the living room raiders
Snatch wifey, come back for the groom later
Throw her in the back off the van like she on Room Raiders!
haha...the rookie niggas pay homage
The skillos throw the box at me like Vonage!"
wow...
hahahahahahahaha...and that aint the half...aint even the quarter!

watch out Lil Wayne...hahahahaha

hatas go listen to your soulja boy...it'll be okay, baby...

haha

Peace & BLessings
Lucius McCall

Valentine

Hey lady…
we’ve been talking for a minute now, and I uh…I’m getting these strange feelings for you that I honestly have never felt before….you came when I was down, you lifted me up- I appreciate it, but It’s more than that, I uh…
I don’t know…
It’s February…
And a special day is nearing…I…damn…I don’t know how to say this.
Looking at you made me lose everything I had to say- good thing I wrote it down…
Let me sing it to you, baby…uh…check it out.

Beautiful, would you be my Valentine?
If not for a life time;
Just for a day and night?
You deserve the treatment of a queen,
Every day, every week
- However often that you need.
Let me.

Hey gorgeous, would you be my Valentine?
If not for a life time;
Just for a day and night?
You deserve the treatment of a queen,
Every day, every week
- However often that you need.
Let me.

Baby if you need the treatment of a queen
from a king, who is me
-let me do it to you.
A picnic in the park,
A moonlit walk after dark;
We're loose wires- let's connect
I'd love to see a spark;
Cause’ I adore you, love
from your from your looks to your thoughts,
to the accent when you talk,
to the switch in your walk.
-Mesmerizing;
baby girl you hypnotize me;
Feelings shot through me like lightning,
so I couldn't let you just slide by me
So I’m asking…

Beautiful, would you be my Valentine?
If not for a life time;
Just for a day and night?
You deserve the treatment of a queen,
Every day, every week
- However often that you need.
Let me.

Hey gorgeous, would you be my Valentine?
If not for a life time;
Just for a day and night?
You deserve the treatment of a queen,
Every day, every week
- However often that you need.
Let me.

Why don’t we go out on the lawn,
And look up at the stars
-wait, that one’s moving- baby quick,
make a wish!
Thought we were in sprinklers, but its rain
Let’s get up and get out of its way,
but first, come here
- give me a kiss!
I don’t need sweets or chocolate,
Cause’ I already got it
-from the kiss from your lips to your toes.
Can’t keep these feelings bottled
It’s too much to even swallow
So I think it’s about time I let you know
(what I want)

Beautiful, would you be my Valentine?
If not for a life time;
Just for a day and night?
You deserve the treatment of a queen,
Every day, every week
- However often that you need.
Let me.

Hey gorgeous, would you be my Valentine?
If not for a life time;
Just for a day and night?
You deserve the treatment of a queen,
Every day, every week
- However often that you need.
Let me.

Some say this pen’s pouring out ink
I think it’s pouring out me
Some may think this letter’s crazy
Others may say this note is sweet
Well, my lady- I honestly think it’s crazy
I just hope that you think it’s sweet
Cause’ you’re honestly a dream, girl
You’re really from a dream!

Some say this pen’s pouring out ink
I think it’s pouring out me
Some may think this letter’s crazy
Others may say this note is sweet
Well, my lady- I honestly think it’s crazy
I just hope that you think it’s sweet
Cause’ you’re honestly a dream, girl
You’re really from a dream!


You know, baby…
that was hard. But seeing that smile on your face really makes me feel it was worth it…I’m embarrassed…oh, you thought that was cute? Haha… You can have so much more moments like this, baby. You brought my smile back- I owe you. I can make everyday Valentine’s day for you, baby.
If you let me.

Will you let me?

Beautiful, would you be my Valentine?
If not for a life time;
Just for a day and night?
You deserve the treatment of a queen,
Every day, every week
- However often that you need.
Let me...

You say I- Part 1

We had a conversation in my Creative Writing class that was thought prevoking.
Before we get into that, I want you to this about this question...
"How many Is do you have?"
Answer in the comment section

Peace & Blessings
Lucius McCall

YANK!

AAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!
Cash Camp has finally released their video after teasing us with a taste of what was to come with this:

I was excited...
and now...
the video is out.
Check it out, and enjoy.

I was kinda disappointed...I like the attempt at a plot...but the plot was stupid! lol
to me at least...
creative, but stupid.
I like how they mixed the teaser in there...I thought they wouldn't, but as you can see- they're on their game.
Sooooo...is it only me who caught that spectacle at the end?
Were they dissing Soulja boy?
These guys are known for throwing disses at people...
you see them in the Batman video throwing batman in the air and "making it fly"- got that info from a reliable primary source...
Then this?
I mean, I would be mad too...they made the damn soulja boy dance, toured with soulja boy for a lil- always in the back...
and now soulja boy is making millions- grammy nominated, and they have...nothing.
Whatever. Get your money, Cash Camp.
Its time to do my dance...its time to do my dance...

Peace & Blessings
Lucius McCall