ohsolucius

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

The BIG 2-0

It's scary to think about, but I'm about to end my teenage years...
In less than a month I'm about to be 20...One year above being a teen, and a year below being a true adult...
Wow.
I feel I've changed alot...I don't like the same things I did a year ago, and I carry myself in a different way.
I don't do the whole party thing much anymore...the whole club thing...It's not really my stillo.
I'd rather go to a chill party in a loft with sexiness, classiness, sytle, and grace. I'd rather walk around and speak to beautiful women than jump around a mosh pit with sweaty men. I'd rather sip on a mixed drink, or a wine cooler than down shots and get pissy drunk to the point that I can't even control myself. Not that I ever DID the latter, but I'm just stating my feelings on it. I'd rather listen to lounge music than "Throw your motherfucking sets up nigggaaaaa! Fuck that bitch, watch her degrade herself while I waste this moneeeeyyyy!"
And before I even go to a party, I'd rather chill and converse with a few of my closest. Maybe watch a movie...
Converse on my bed with an interest over the background noise from Miles Davis and Chris Botti...
Watch a movie with a shorty...
Go for a walk...

And many other things that are just........enlighting.

Don't get me wrong...I'm a fun guy! I love to have real fun, fun outside the club and a party. Fun outside the drinking and smoking. Fun outside the "fucking hoes". I honestly don't think that repetitive crap is fun...

Playing tag and hide and seek with your friends is a blast, though...

Even though I'm growing up, I know I'll still remain a kid at heart...

Open minded...

You'll never hear me say anything is stupid and childish unless it ties into drama...

I know I'm going to bakslide and go crazy for my lil brother's 18th birthday...

And I know I'm going to have my last bit of crazy fun on my 20th...

But other than that, you may catch me outside reading a book while others find crazy things to do...

Think, no- KNOW I'm weird...

Peace & Blessings

And all types of fuckery!

This is for my best friends...the people I love- to death do us part. A lil inside joke of ours...
Start watching this vid at the 3:59 mark...

LMAO!
"You's a wise ass?! Eh? Ya one a dem, who de ya foreign commit all de crime dem..an cum bac ere ta mash up de island! Wit all ya foreign style car jacking....
extortion....
AND ALL TYPES OF FUCKERY!"

Peace & Blessings
Lu

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Why Lucius hates cops

Alot of people hate the police...and I never understood.
I feel the police are there to help out, and they're the first people to call when you're in serious trouble, so why hate them?
911 is the easiest, and quickest (in some places) way to get service, so why dislike them...
...unless they step out of their squares?
One stepped out of his square today.
So I'm driving home from helping my sister move her house, been up since 9- just getting on the way home at 11pm...and I have NO GAS, due to procrastinating and lack of loot.
I mean, the light is ON. lol
So I'm driving, and I decide that I'm going to hit up the Kroger down the block to get my baby- Black Pearl- some juice to drink before she dies on me.
I get to Kroger and realize that it's closed! Ugh!
So I turn around and head back the other way- opposite my home to see if there is a gas station close by that i can fill up real quick...
I get to where the stations are, and realize they're closed as well!
what the hell?!
people don't get gas at eleven at night?
so i make a U-turn, and that's when i see him.
A cop behind me.
I already KNOW he's probably going to pull me over- just because cops have nothing to do in my area except pull people over, so i drive below the speed limit, and wonder if he'll pull a reason out his anus to pull me over. He follows me down the street, close behind- more than likely reading my plates.
I pull back into the Kroger, because I didn't have time to waste- either he was gonna pull me over, or he was gonna leave me alone, and I knew if he wanted me, he'd get me in the lot.
Well whadayaknow?
I pull into the parking lot, and the flashing lights start- no Kanye West.
I exhale hardly (I had a hard day, damnit! couldn't he bother somebody else?), pull to the side, turn my car off, and roll down my window.
Let's get this over with.
I'm waiting...and waiting...as they make you do, a bright light shining in my car, embarrassing blue and red lights flickering behind me.
All of a sudden another bright light turns on and shines into my car, and I see the pig standing to the left side of my car, but not by the window as normal cops do, he's away from the car, way beyond arms length. A fat, old, white pig. I look at him.
"How're you doing, driver?"
I smile, "I'm quite fine, and-"
before I could even finish my response, he says "step out of the car."
I thought of Rodney King.
I thought of the black guy they were searching for because of the death of the two white women last week.
I thought of me.
I step out of the car, and stand in front of him. He asks for my license, and I hand it over to him.
"What are you doing in the parking lot?" He scowls at me like he caught me doing something!
I'm taken aback, so I blurt out "Excuse me??" in the tone I would give a person who disrespects me, and I want them to repeat it to make sure they wanted to try me like that again...
"What are you doing out this late?"
I give the man a look like who the hell do you think you are? I'm minding mine! Shit! It's not even 12!
I suddenly remember the badge, and recall that once you get that badge, you're one of the Gods of the world...you can do whatever the hell you want- at least that's what they think.
I pause, get my thoughts together, and repond.
"I actually just came back from helping a friend move, and I'm heading home now."
He gives me the look of hate, and actually reminded me of a rich white man who wouldn't mind hanging me if it was legal.
"Where do you live?"
"I live down the street, sir."
"What street?"
"Ashewoode Downs."
This is where it gets FUNNY!
"Oh really?" he asks me with the look of an asshole. He shines his light on my license and shows it to me. "Does that say Ash_____e Downs?"
I look at my license, and sure enough! It says Ash_____e Downs!
"Yes, sir. It actually does say Ash_____e Downs."
He looks at the license again, and knows he looks stupid, but refuses to apologize or say he misread.
All of a sudden his radio goes off, and I hear my license plate, along with the name of my step-father- who owned the car when he was alive. The word 'not stolen' was in there as well among the static. I looked at him with an expression of disbelief. Was it REALLY that serious? What the hell was his problem?
He radioed back "Okay, meet me in the Kroger parking lot."
Oh no, I thought to myself. More pork on the way!
"Are you in school?"
"Yes, I attend Valdosta State University."
The same look remained on his face.
"Where do you work?"
I was about to tell him where until he muttered that he "just remembered I went to school."
"So you're headed home now?"
"Yes maam, my mother actually just called me." Yes, out of nervousness, I called him maam. I caught it after it already slipped out of my mouth, but I just remained looking him in his eyes.
F it.
What, he gonna arrest me for hinting that he held a lil bitchassness inside his skin that has no sweat glands?
"What kind of car is this?" He looks at my baby.
"A black on black Cavalier LS." I figured I probably had to throw the color in there, because he couldn't read...proven twice to me. Maybe he was blind...
Another squad car pulls up, and a black officer gets out.
Thank God.
He heads over to the side of the first pig, and the first pig hands him my license and asks him to "run it." The black pig leaves the side of the white one, and goes to his car to run my license (see my records) which is so clean it's funny.
Now if he caught me before I turned 18, maybe he woulda had some luck...haha.
Poor black cop 'yes a massa'ing.
He looks at me, and asks "So is there a reason you saw me and did a U-turn back this way, after just leaving this area?"
pause.
Don't you HATE it when people ASSume?? And don't you hate it even more when they're completely wrong?! I almost laughed at this stupidity.
play.
"I was actually looking for gas, so I came to Kroger, saw that it was closed, then went down the street looking for gas, and realized they were closed as well. So I turned around and was on my way home. I actually didn't see you until you turned your lights on."
Damn lie. But cops lie all the time to get what they want. So...
The second officer seemed to loosen up realizing I wasn't a criminal, and he told me about how he did the same thing one night looking for gas- how he drove all over, so he understood.
hmph.
Pink pig started talking to the other officer, and what he said really made me wanna tell him to audition for the Laugh Shack. He says
"I pulled him over because he saw- well I thought he saw- me in the parking lot and he pulled out, and went down the street then turned around and returned to the parking lot. I thought he was suspicious enough to pull over."
L...M...fly...A...O.
wow.
A black man driving a black car around is probable cause to pull him over and waste his time.
"So everything's fine?" the black officer asked.
"Yeah, we're done here." The pink pig said as he handed me back my license.
"You know there's a gas station down Sargeant Road, about two miles down." The second officer pointed in the direction. "I usually go there when everybody else closes."
"Thank you, sir." I smile at him.
Pink pig drags himself back to his car.
The second officer departs as he tells me to have a good night.
I say "thanks, you too." and enter my car.
I turn it on, and the gas light turns on as well.
F it.
I'd get gas tomorrow.
As I drove home, I wondered if he would have pulled me over if I was driving a beamer with a suit on...
probably not.
He pulled me over in my little black Cavalier, and when I stepped out of the car in a bubble jacket and sweats- my moving clothes- he immediately stereotyped me to be a criminal.
The world is what it is...
God bless that stupid pink pig.

Peace & Blessings
Lu

Monday, March 10, 2008

South Central Park!

South (Park) Central
by PeteRock

LMAO!

Peace & Blessings
Lu

Mickey Avalon

I know you all have seen this commerical...
Some find it entertaining, some find it annoying...
and MOST wonder who's the white man at the end that they've never seen before. lol
"I'm that dude that got what you need/
eyes on the prize, picking up speed!"
Well I have tha answer for ya.
Mickey Avalon.
Who's Mickey Avalon?
Watch this...

MY DICK

LMAO! I like that joint, yo...
And this one...

MR. RIGHT

"Rolex watch- but it's fake!

Gold gazelle glasses and a platinum chain- but it's fake!

Like your tits...and your eyes and your nose and your lips, and your brains!" lol!
I don't know about ya'll, but I like this cat. I love people that are different cuz they wanna be...because that's who they are, and they could care less about what people think. That's all him! I'm downloading the disk.

THE FULL COMMERCIAL

Peace & Blessings
Lu

P.S. since we're talking commercials, here are two of my favorites right now
The Magical Amounts!

LMAO @ dudley the dragon at the end! lol!

Yo-yo commercial

LMflyAO! that mess is just hilaroius