Love on Layaway

Maybe I should kill him...
lol...but seriously.
In no way, shape, or form am I a murderer- nor do I wish to become one...
but seeing his face...
Everytime I see him, I want to walk over to him and question him...and if he gives me the wrong answer, just bang out...
But what would that solve?
Would I feel better after?
I mean, maybe....haha.
But it aint worth the lawyer fees...
Who's this man I speak of?
the man who was messing around with my ex behind my back...the man she felt the need to lie to me about...lie after lie after lie...having me doubt MY sight, and hearing...
I can be having a GREAT day, see him for a lil bit- and be fine.
But today I saw him enough times to think he was following me.
And everytime he looks at me, he looks as if he don't know the deal...
he knows.
He's not stupid...
I shouldn't let this bother me, and I usually don't...but I HATE that feeling of not knowing. I don't know exactly what happened with them, I can just guess...or listen to what she feels like telling me- and HOPE that what she says is truth.
Ugh.
Whatever...he aint me. nuff said...
I got nothing to worry about...
I just wanna know what went down...I'm still blind-folded to that...I HATE not knowing. HATE it...
She had a reason to do what she did though...not saying it was right- but she had a reason. More on that below...

The above is unimportant...just had to vent, and I chose to use you all as sinks to pour. Unfair, huh?
Let's move on to the reason I wanted to write this blog...
I watched a play on BET over the weekend, and surprisingly it was good! Why do I say surprisingly? Because all the previous plays they showed were terrible...plays full of ignorance that depicted blacks as loud idiots with no common sense...I strongly dislike plays like that.
I guess when you get hooked on Madea plays, everythign else is blahhhh...lol. But anyway, the name of the play was Love on Layaway, and it was about running with love. Whether people are running to it, or running from it...and the play showed 3 couples and 6 point of views perfectly. I'm going to share what stuck to me as the ending credits started to run...

Better Half
When an artist was moving into the apartment building, he met up with a woman who was having an arguement with her husband about marriage...blah blah blah. They met outside and started to speak. She asked him if it was just him moving in, or if there was a 'better half'. he immediately paused and looked at her.
He gathered his words and it flowed like this...
"Better half? I don't believe in having half of anything...
See a whole man deserves a whole woman. The way I figure, if all you are is somebody's better half, and something unfortunately happes to that half, then you're like...half of half. And that's a quarter...and nowadays there aint a whole lot a brotha can get with a quarter..."
Nuff said.
But let me comment...lol. That is sooo true...If you're not whole with yourself, you can't be with somebody else. Two half people can not work...because you'll be dependant on each other- which is fine. But you HAVE to be able to do for yourself. By yourself.
If you're doing bad, you don't need someone to assist you in doing worse. You can do bad all by yourself! Get good...then get girls/ boys.
Plus, half brothas and sistas are not that attractive...
Like my mans says- let a women compliment you, not complete you. It's like colors- but more on that in a blog soon to come.
This all leads back to the quote- "Don't ever make somebody your everything, because when they're gone you have nothing."
Word.

Too good to be true
There was a couple in the play, and the female was giving the male such a hard time, and all he wanted to do was make her happy and be with her.
Nobody understood until the end of the play where he decided to leave her alone, and she finally told him "I know I was being unfair to you. The only reason for that was because I thought you were too good to be true."
I've been there. I once met a woman who was stunning...To the point I told my boys about how gorgeous she was. I swear she was the most gorgeous woman I ever met in person.
Then to hand heaven in my hand, she started to dig me.
Then to make life EVEN better which I thought was impossible, she was perfect inside!
She was humble, caring, sweet, loyal, down to cater- EVERYTHING I ever wanted in a woman. Something you usually find in all the unattractive women, because the gorgeous want to be treated liek princesses and do what they do, because they know they can! You leave, and dozens of guys will be lined at the door.
She was perfect.
She was Miss Hollywood (see poem).
I didn't believe it.
In all my past relationships, there was a time when the girl was so good, so perfect...then they always hurt me because my heart was handed over on a platter. I trusted- maybe sometimes too soon without giving their make-up some time to fade.
So I was so scared of getting hurt again, and again, and again...
So I ran. I put my wall up, and refused to believe there was a such thing as a Miss Hollywood- what I've been searching for my whole life.
In the play, the woman said to the guy- "I decided to chase you away to keep you from leaving."
This is exactly what I did.
Some people may say it doesn't make sense! 'Chasing them away will just help them leave!'
True, but it'd be on your terms. YOU chased them away, it's YOUR fault their gone. If you chase something away, you can't get hurt...or so it seems at first.
Having them leave you after opening up to them and giving them all seems as if it'd hurt much more than you chasing them away...People don't want to endure that pain...
But then you wind up hurting them...
Trust, people...but keep one eye open like CVS.
If you find your Miss Hollywood, or Price Charming, don't chase them away!!! Please don't. It doesn't work, and you'll regret it in the end. Word is bond...cuz that's something that doesn't come easy, and when it's gone...it's gone.

Reason & Location
A man confronted the artist with suspicions that his girl may have cheated on him with the artist...the artist said nothing happened- but made it clear that something could have. The man was ready to fight, but the artist explained what is so true in most cases...
"Women are not like men. Women need a reason to cheat, men just need a location...Don't you realize that when you break a woman's heart, all you're doing is allowing another man the opportunity to mend it?"
Boosted.
In most cases, that's gospel. I know alot of men who just cheat for the hell of it, and it makes me sick...Because they break down the women doing what they do. A woman can be giving them EVERYTHING...and they still want more.
Women don't cheat for no reason unless they're whores...nuff said.
Do what you're supposed to do, fellas. LOVE your women...give them all you can- and more. If she's a real woman, and not a vagina, she'll appreciate that and reciprocate! There'll be no reason for her to stray and go elsewhere! if you're giving her 100%, and she's doing the same- how will you give anybody else anything else? If you put your all into something, what can you put elsewhere?? When you put all into something, there is nothing left to put elsewhere!
Church!
Don't give your women reasons to cheat, my brothas!
And women...don't cheat. lol. Just leave him...please.

Excuse the length, guys...lol. but I haven't blogged in so long...I has ALOT to release...haha. You gotta peep Come on paper to digg what I'm saying.

Peace & Blessings, my people
Lucius McCall

P.S. wow, some girl just walked up to the guy sitting beside me, asked his name, told him hers, then asked for his number! Wooooowww...I wish it was that easy!