"I apologize for being such an ass lately...I just have trust issues due to repetitive let-downs when it comes to women. I get cheated on, lied to, led on, and played with...and I'm so tired, babe. So tired. And it's unfair that you have to deal with the reaping that they sowed...So unfair that you must deal with the mess they created...But I can't help it." I looked away as I started to tear up. I could never let her see me cry.
"You have so much patience...so much. And I appreciate it...so much, but I can't show you- not right now. My heart and mind won't let me...You must understand...My heart had been misused. Taken advantage of. Broken, stepped on, thrown around, and drug on the ground. My heart is broken, and the pieces are everywhere. My mind has been stained deeply..." I took her hand. "But honestly, if you're willing to try and work on fixing my heart, and hand washing my mind...I'm willing to let you."
She looked into my eyes, looked through the tears that I was holding back- the tears from the months of pain I endured. The build up of agony that blocked passage to my heart, mind, and soul. She tried to see through it, but it was too thick, too black, and too deep. As far as she knew there was nothing beyond the ache…yet she was willing to find out.
“Baby…” She started. “I come equipped with a tool belt, and a cleaning kit. I’m ready for work.”
I looked at her and smiled.
"I will replace your anguish from her with happiness from me."
--Lucius McCall
Peace & Blessings
Lu
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1 comment:
Buenos Dias! WOW. Is this what you feel that you need someone to do for you? It is up to no one but yourself to get over those humps that have surfaced in your previous relationships. Your new crush can only help you to see your short comings; for you are the final piece of your hearts puzzle. Actually you are the ONLY piece of your hearts puzzle. It is all about what you look for in your ideal mate. A list of adjectives pertaining to your ideal mate's personality, values, practices, and morals will point you in the right direction. Most importantly know yourself sweet heart. Know what you don't like in a female. Understand what you do like in her. Putting your heart into someones hands is asking for another mangled heart. No one likes baggage. Leave it at the airport if you brought it. You know what? Backtrack in your mind and go back to the time you packed that bag. Start unpacking it. Loose the things that you know you do not need. You would not take a ski jacket to the beach just like you would not bring distrust into a relationship. (I don't know if that made sense to you but it made sense to me LOL). Promise me- NO promise yourself never to place your mind, heart, or soul in someones hands hoping for change. You are the change.
-Buenos Noches (i had an urge to say it lol)
Ash
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