Wednesday, March 26, 2008

There is strength in love...

Old post 2/4/08

I was having a nice conversation with my ex- girlfriend, and she told me she truly believed that you need another person to be there if you're truly trying to get over somebody.

It's amazing how much I disagree...
this whole time I've been trying to get over her without using someone else, because I believe the feelings I have for the 'rebound' won't be real, and I'd hate to hurt a woman by using her so I won't be alone, or lonely.

I've been fighting it out, not trying to get with anybody, and just trying to make myself better- so when I'm ready for another relationship, it'll be because I want one, and not because I just want someone there to fill the vacancy. I would no longer be hurting, so I wouldn't take out my pain and anguish on my other...
...My mind will be fresh, and ready for another battle in this war called love...
...the fight over hearts.

There is strength in love...
which is how I know I was truly in it.
When I should have hated her, I continued to love her, and when I should have been gone, I stayed around.
She could do something terrible to me, and I'd disregard it in order to be with her, because I knew how good we could be.
There is strength in love...

I guess this explains the late night call she received from some guy as I was sitting there helping her study.
The proof in the pudding...
she said it out of her mouth...
Usually you give people your number when you're interested in them...right?
There IS a such thing as a fake number, right?
She claims she's bothered that I may be getting over her...
no...I think she just wants the upper hand. She wants me to be miserable while she holds all the power she knows she has...
or had...
It's cool though, because he holds letters, and that's never good. They can enjoy their flings, and late night convos...soon it'll die down and she'll realize he's not worth it, because he's not me.
80/20 % rule...he seems like a better choice because he comes with no work...
But in the long run...
What a downgrade...hahaha.
But I aint trippin.

Peace & Blessings
Lucius McCall

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

i really like this....touching.
it portrays ur true emotions, the ones that most people try to hide.
you have been through so much, i can tell. and i want to help you through so many things. i didnt know that those things were that way with ur old relationship...or i would have introduced myself a WHILE ago...but please dont give up on the future and ur relationships with new ppl. you are strong...stronger than u may know...but for anyone to have their heart broken and slowly but surely move on with life is an inspiration and has a strong backbone.
ps. your writing really helps me with some of my own problems...

*you know me*