Like my fav rapper said:
"Change happens...
some people change for the better...
some people change for the worse...
but some people need to make that change..."-- Fabolous
It's true...as people get older, they go through changes in their life- not only physical. People go through things, they learn from it, and it forms them into the person they are presently as they apply what they've learned to life. There are people who are raised in the hood, and they live their lives always on the defense to keep from being run over in the fast life. They have to hustle to live, yet we call them goons, and shun them. They're a product of their environment. There are women who've always wanted that 'love from a man', due to the lack of it that they receive at home from their fathers- if there's even one present. So they think laying down for various men will get them that love that they yearn for, that connection. Women who've been molested as children, and it tweaks their actions in the future- yet, we call them "hoes", and stupid girls...etc. There are many more examples I can provide, but at the end of the day, I'm saying that change is normal, it's a part of life. People learn from experiences and apply it to living.
Though this is a normal thing, I really hate it when people change for the worse. I hate it when people let certain circumstances form them into a person that's not them- and actually worse than the person they used to be. Like men who get hurt and turn into a 'pimp', or 'player'. Women that get hurt, and decide to curse every human with something extra hanging in their pants. People who get linked up into the business world and lose sense of what's more important in life- something other than making money. People who start to do drugs or drink, and become dependent on it- to people who start to sell drugs, and get extra paranoid, and think everyone is out there to double cross them...the list goes on. I despise it, because I believe that if you're changing, you should change for the better- not the worse. You should try to better yourself, better your standards, better your mindset- to better your being.
The worst part about it is- half the time these people don't even realize that they've changed, and they actually get defensive when you try to place a mirror in their face to show them. They don't like what they see in the mirror, so they try to blame the reasons for their actions on someone else.
Instead of changing the image revealed to them, they try to break the mirror...
Breaking the mirror changes nothing, at least for the better.
Listen, shit happens- excuse my language.
People can do things to you all your life, and things can happen all your life, but it's YOU who controls YOUR actions.
YOU can't change people, but you can surely change what YOU do.
YOU can't change life, but you surely can change what YOU do to react to it...
It's said he who angers you, controls you...that statement deserves to be quoted, because it's true! Nobody should be able to do something to piss you off, because you should be able to control your emotions, and how your emotions make you react. It's all you...so 'the devil made me do it', or 'he did it first' is not an excuse.
I know someone who changed so much that...I just don't look at her the same. I used to love her. I used to adore her. I used to want to be with her...
now I don't even find her attractive anymore.
Physically, mentally, emotionally and whatever else was there, is there no longer...
I honestly don't see anything about her that attracts me anymore...yet I used to think she was the most gorgeous thing I'd ever seen in person.
She was.
Until she changed...
...for the worse.
It's amazing to me how somebody can just flip- for the worst.
Bettering yourself is understandable, but making yourself worse due to whatever...that's bad.
And the worst part is...she doesn't even know. She actually still believes that she's the same gorgeous, smart, humble, classy, graceful woman she used to be...
She hasn't noticed her change. Which makes me despise her even more.
One of her pet peeves used to be hypocrisy...she believed in saying one thing and doing the same- not the opposite. Yet, she did not practice what she preached...
She would say she loved someone...yet act as if she hated them. She would hurt them over and over...and be completely fine with it- as long as she wasn't hurting herself. She was disrespectful. She was selfish- though she never used to be this way. She used to be a giver...and she always gave with a smile.
She preached actions spoke louder than words...which is why I started to believe the person she showed me, and not the person she told me.
Cuz who she told me she was was the woman I'd been searching for, forever...
Miss Hollywood...
and that was NOT her...anymore.
Or maybe even ever, because I don't think a person that strong can be broken into a typical woman...it's impossible. That's weak...a gene not found in Miss Hollywood's blood.
A good friend of both of ours said I created a monster...
No. I am not to blame for another human's actions...
She may blame me for making her into whatever she is now due to how I used to be in the past, due to CHANGING because of getting hurt dozens of times by women, but I thank her for making me a better person. I had to fight for her, I had to learn patience, I had to learn humility...
Now I know how to love, and I'm not scared to find it anymore. I know how to exercise my patience, and show my humility without being a pee-on...
I won't dare let anybody make me worse...
I just leave you with this- stay true to yourself. Know who you are, and be who you are. How many Is do you have? Will what 'I said, I did, I want' now be the same as the 'I said, I did, I want' tomorrow?
Look in the mirror people...Don't be scared. If you don't like what you see, make a change...starting with who you see.
P.S. All in the dark does certainly come to light...one day. You think you know, but you have no idea.
Don't make assumptions...there are no 'shout outs' in this note. Just speaking my mind. If the heels and sneakers fit..wear em!
All love
Lu
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