Happy Father's Day!!

Father's Day.
The day celebrated all over the US, as well as beyond us.
A special day out of 365 to recognize fathers all over the world; a day used to make them feel appreciated for what they've done, and what they do.
People always say that Mother's Day kills Father's Day as far as gifts and hype, but besides that- the appreciation is usually equivalent.
I'd like to take out this time now to recognize and applaud all the fathers in the world who have stayed around, and taken care of responsibility,
-all the step-fathers who have stepped in and closed the door that the original fathers left wide open,
-all the mentors and other men who try to step in and lead by example to get our young on the right track, without persuing a relationship with the mother,
-and all the mothers who have to be both mother and father for theirs sons and daughters. I don’t know how hard that is, but I have an idea. My mother’s single with three children. I see her struggle. I appreciate her for it.

In church on Father’s Day, all the fathers in the building were asked to come down to the alter to be recognized. Sadly, because I attend an African American church, I didn’t expect the turn out to be so large. Fifty five, or sixty men walked to the altar for prayer, and I tipped my hat to every last one.
Why?
Because for fathers- or daddies, per say, I’m an aficionado.
I respect the men who take responsibility for their actions and don’t try to make excuse after excuse to get away from what they’re supposed to do. The men that realize that once their sperm hits the egg like a ball hits a bat and fertilization starts, the previous game is over. It’s time to get serious, and step to the plate and play for the future.
It’s time to be on you’re A-game.
Your life is changed.
You’re in the Big Leagues now.
I praise the men who stay around and play intil the came is over, not until they get tired, or only when it's convenient for them. They practice, and train, and try to be the best father they could ever be.
Fat shout and much respect to the MVFs...Most Valuable Fathers.

Check this video out to see how some celebrities still seem to have time to take care of their own.


But what exactly is a father?
Well, dictionary.com (my favorite, and only dictionary) defines a father as:

Father
-noun
1. a male parent.
2. a father-in-law, stepfather, or adoptive father.
3. a man who exercises paternal care over other persons; paternal protector or provider: a father to the poor.

Being a father is a full time job with no pay except happiness and the feeling of being contented as you see your child grow from a small seed to a huge tree.

Well since we know what a father is, what is not a father?
Or what is a father not?

A father is not abusive...mentally, spiritually, or physically.
A father is not absent...I had a step-father in the house for years, but I can honestly say he wasn't present while he was around. We hardly talked, and when we did speak to each other, it was an arguement- not a conversation.
A father is not part-time...being a Father is a full time job. You don't appear, then disappear when it's convenient for you. If you 'send money', you don't send what you think you can afford. You send what the baby needs- period. You must be selfless. You no longer have 'me time'. The time is for'us'.
A father is not a workaholic...I promise your child would rather an outing with you rather than a new car, an appearance at their sports games rather than a new game system, compassion and love rather than money and gifts. Realize that's top priority in life, and apply it to yours. They don't just give present, but they also present a role model for their children- themselves. *Watch Click. It'll change your life.*
A father is not a friend...Or at least not only a friend. A father is there to talk to you to better you, not just gossip. Someone you can come to to talk to, but accept advice as well. A father should have authority. A father should be commander. Not extremely passive.
A father is not manipulative...you shouldn't have to force a child to do something, and make ultimatums. You shouldn't have to threaten your children all the time. Their actions should be instilled into them from witness of the way you act, and the way you make them respect you. You can't force someone to respect you, that just creates fear, which leads to hate. Yes, even as a parent, respect needs to be earned.

Alot of readers may say 'Whatever, Lucius. You don't know what you're talking about. You've never been in the position to be a father, so you don't know how hard it is!'

Know what, you may be right!
I don't know how hard it is to be a father, but I know how hard it is to be without one! So I told myself and my mother what I would never, ever put a child through what I've been through. I'd never, ever put my child's mother through what my mother worked through! Ever! Yes, it may be hard, but life isn't all about things being easy as pie. Sometimes, no- alot of the time, you have to work, hustle, struggle...so just because it may be easier to walk away, doesn't mean you should.
Impregnating a lady shouldn't change your core...so if you'd turn your back on a child then, you'd turn your back on alot of things before.

There is a pandemic spreading- Fatherless Families, and it needs to be stopped.
It takes more than sperm to be called a father, or a daddy.
Without the responsibility, you're simply a donor.

I would like to take this time to shout out, and deliver much disrespect to the storks- the boys who just drop babies everywhere and then *poof* disappear.
I despise, and step over you...with all DUE respect.

I’m so sick of hearing my young sisters crying and tripping over their baby daddy drama, because there shouldn't be any. Hell yeah- it’s hard, but do you really expect her to do it alone? Is being alone supposed to make things easier for her? Is this why you leave? Is this why you turn your back on a child- God's gift to you?
Are you not supposed to walk with your children, and not away from them?
These donors not only abandon their responsibilities, but they abandon their child(ren), as well as the co-maker of their kids.
Children are special- your child could only be made once- only by you
Yet, you'll give up on something so special?
Yet, you seem to be completely comfortable with ignoring a miracle?
This was God's gift to you, and you don't want it? Is it not in style for you?
Storks, a child isn't the sweater grandma gave you on Christmas that you smiled about right before stuffing it in the drawer never to be seen again.

This is a child. Pushing your responsibilities in a drawer won't make them disappear.
Why would you depart and leave the door wide open? Aren’t fathers supposed to be protectors, providers? S tork could never be a father, because they leave the family unbalanced, unstable, and vulnerable to anything- due to them leaving the door open, leaving a void for anyone to come around and fill.

How many more of our children will have to cry out?
How many more of our youth will have to be imprisoned due to the lack of discipline- due to the lack of a father figure?
Where are the fathers in this world?
Where have you been?



"Fuck you very much, you showed me the worst kind of pain
But I’m stronger, and trust me- I will never hurt again
Will never ask mommy ‘why daddy don’t love me?’
'Why’s we so poor?', 'Why’s life so ugly?'
'Mommy, why’s your eyes puffy?'
'Please don’t cry, everything will be alright...
I know it’s dark now, but we gon see the light...
It’s us against the world, we don’t need him right?'-- Jay Z (Where have you been?)

Check out how Obama, my president, speaks of fatherhood in this speech he did on Father's Day.

Obama bluntly says
"Any fool can have a child. That doesn't make you a father. It's the courage to raise a child that makes you a father."

When we lay with a woman, we need to make sure that the woman we lay with is one we would love to spend the rest of our life with. It should already be like that, because your body shouldn’t be spread around to Jen, Shari, and Terrifa just for some pleasure. Sex without feeling is violence.
Sperm shouldn’t be spread to just anyone. Would you seriously just let anyone have your child? It's the same as asking if you'd let just anyone have sex with you.
Is there any standard anymore to whom we have sex with, whom we share our internal fluids with? Whom we enter, or allow to enter?
Or is it seriously just about pleasure these days?
Hey, mistakes happen- so be sure that you're willing to live with it if it does.
These storks act like it’s a form of duress when the child’s mother tries to get you to take care of her kid- not even her, just the child YOU helped bring into this world; yet when you were enjoying the sex, fear of commitment or pressure weren’t in your vocabulary then.
The subtle irony.
Why fail a child, due to your frailties? Is it the child’s fault that you didn’t wear a contom? Is it the child’s fault that you were careless for a night, or two? Is it the child's fault that you weren't thinking about your future years during that mere minute of orgasm?
If not, why must the child live with the reapings for the rest of it's life?
Why must it live to think of itself as a mistake?
Why must he wonder why daddy doesn't want him?
Why?

"Better wear a latex, cuz you don't want that late text, that 'I think I'm late' text..." -- Lil Wayne (Lolipop remix)

I’m not trying to chastise all you who try to shirt responsibility. I’m just stating my opinion, and praying that instead of getting mad, you read this and try to make a change. It’s not too late. It’s never too late. I spent 18 years waiting for my pops to come back. Waiting for him to at least call me, at least send a letter.
At least pick up the phone and give me one conversation...
18 years.
But all I got from him was his name.

Don’t look at this as a rampant ranting, but look at it as a scolding, a schooling. This issue is too nasty to be approached nicely, so I keep it funky.
Be a man. Take responsibility.


Walk with your sons and daughters, not away from them.

Peace & Blessings
Lu