Sunday, June 15, 2008

Something...

As I opened my eyes this morning, I realized that things could be very different.
I could be in the hospital- if I were lucky, or maybe even in the funeral home.
Maybe the morgue…
I could have been anywhere except the soft bed that I was currently resting in. I took a deep breath as I got up to turn the alarm clock off.
Inevitably, I started to think about what happened the day before...
again.


I was trying to race back home to get changed into the new clothes I’d just bought, yet I seemed to hit every red light along the way.
It was like a tease- green, and then as soon as I get close- yet too far to speed up it’d turn yellow, then of course red.
I’d be speeding, then stop.
Speeding, then stop.
No momentum, no stamina, and I was getting tired of it.
I blew out hot air as the red lights continued, all the way to my house, and I wondered if the weekend could get any worse.
I’d already lost 140 dollars for nothing, went to a club all the way in bubble**** and didn't have a good time, then had a hard time shopping today. (Hard Knock Life, huh? lol...jk)
Also, I was already later than I should be, yet earlier than expected…so I was in an okay place. At least I had hope.
I finally got home after following the slowest driver in Alpharetta, Georgia.
I showered earlier in the day, so all I had to do was figure out what to wear- Ed Hardy shirt and True Religion Jeans- light blue, or dark blue, or American Eagle Jeans? Black square toes- leather or patent leather, Pumas (eugh!), pale Timberlands, or Polo Skippies…
I was getting frustrated, because I didn’t know WHAT to wear to the concert. I wanted to look good, you know?
Finally, I just slipped on what looked best, and hit the road. I refused to be late, because I told myself that I’d be at this concert when the lights shut of declaring the start of the show. I’d never been to a concert on time, and I hated missing good acts; or any acts at all.
I jumped into my car- the Black Pearl, ejected the Carter 3, and put in a Fabolous mixtape.
As I reversed out of my driveway, I heard the thunder...
The sky was threatening to release it's bowels on me all day long, and I hoped that it just kept threatening. I hated driving in the rain, especially when I needed new tires and windshield wipers- ASAP.
I headed to the highway, and the rain started to pour. My windows were rolled down, because I loved to ride with my hand out the window feeling the breeze enter, swirl around, then exit my vehicle.
It made me feel like I was flying.
It made me feel free.
I rolled up the window to keep the rain out.
I could see without the windshield wipers, and I felt that turning them on would do nothing but make my vision worse, so I kept them off
- until I got off my exit.
That’s when the rain started to pour harder to the point I couldn’t see anything.
It made things a little better, but there certainly wasn’t a drastic change. It was still a struggle to get a clear view of the road.
Angie, a good friend of mine, called me to see if I was at work so she could come see me. I visited her and her son (my 'nephew') the night before, and I was anticipating getting as close as we were in the past. Our relationship wasn’t as strong after she left the school.
I told her I wasn’t at work, and that I’d call her back later because I was headed to my best friend’s apartment on the highway in the rain and I couldn’t see ANYTHING.
I wondered why it would start to rain as soon as I started to drive.
I wondered if the weekend could get any worse.
She asked me why the hell I was still on the phone when I was driving in the rain, and I laughed. She told me to enjoy my night and drive safe.
“Of course,” was my answer.
I hung up the phone and turned the music up.
“You know I come from the bottom, but I stay on the top
You might need a ladder, shorty- cuz I’m way on the top
That’s right, I’m rich and I’m young like it say on my top
And you could ask my bottom chick- bet she say I’m on top…”
I became my favorite rapper as I passed exit 9, heading to Atlantic Station. I was excited. I was finally on my way to the concert after such a crazy weekend- headed to see T.I, The Dream, and Shawty Lo.
All the other performances were so whatever to me.
I'd been waiting for this for weeks.
I changed lanes until I got to the fast lane- the lane all the way to the left of the highway.
I drove the speed limit because I didn’t want to crash into another car by not being able to slam on my brakes if I needed to. The rain was pouring so hard I couldn’t see anything but the car in front of me. I followed, but not too closely. I was going 60…65…63...not too fast in my book.
All of a sudden the car jerked to the right
- then went right back to where it was.
I turned my radio down and gripped the wheel tighter.
A couple miles down, the car did the same thing.
I fell back, slowed down even more to 50…55…I was used to hydroplaning a little bit when it rained, so it wasn’t too terrifying. You lose a second of control, and you get it right back. Whatever, right?
I continued to drive, nodding my head to the beat, smiling an arrogant smile at Fab’s cocky lyrics.
What happened next…changed my life.
I’m getting chills as I write this.
I was still following the car in front of me at about 55 when the car jerked again- but this time it didn’t jerk and shoot right back to where it was.
The car seemed to be pushed fron the left, and pulled to the right. It kept going as if somebody turned my wheel all the way to the right as if they were trying to make a sharp turn.
The only problem with that was- I wasn't trying to make a sharp turn.
The steering wheel was actually straight.
The car started to spin…
…and spin…
...on the highway.
I stomped on the brakes hoping the car would stop, but they wouldn't even press down. The car refused to do what I wanted it to do, didn't obey what I tried to make it do...
It refused to stop.
I couldn’t even scream as my life slowed down, yet sped up as the Black Pearl spun on the highway-all the way from the left to the right side of the highway.
I spun around completely- twice or three times as cars whizzed by and seemed to maneuver around me.
I knew an oncoming car would hit me. I knew it.
I knew I would die. I knew it. And I accepted it, feeling that when it’s your time to go…it is.
I knew I’d get a couple bruises, maybe scars, maybe even a concussion- if I even survived.
I knew the car would flip a couple times.
I knew it.
But it didn’t.
As I spun like a top and neared the ditch on the other side of the highway, I braced myself for anything that was about to happen. I grabbed what I could and held on for dear life.
The car continued to spin…
Then it went airborne…and finally came to a rest in a ditch right beside a small canal.
The car stopped shaking, but I didn’t.
I couldn’t say anything, think anything…
I just shook.
Shock overwhelmed me, and I could do nothing but sit there and shake.
Suddenly, a million thoughts flooded my mind at once.
What just happened?
Am I okay?
Is the car going to blow up?
Why are people still driving?
Is my car damaged?
Can I get out?
I didn't want to get out...I was scared to get out.
Should I try to move the car?
Will turning the ignition spark a flame and make the car explode?
I sat there for about five minutes, and shook.
I felt the need to cry, but I couldn't. Like the car, my body refused to do what I wanted it to do, or what it was supposed to do.
I called a very close friend of mine, because she was one of the last people I talked to, and the first person I thought to call- yet I couldn't get a word out as I heard her calling out "hello...hello..."
Finally I got out a "hey..."
She asked what was wrong. She knew me, so I knew she could hear it in my voice.
I told her what happened, and she told me that she'd love to be there for emotional support, but I should call someone who can actually be of assistance.
She was hours away from me...
I hung up the phone and thought to call my mother, but I didn't have her number stored in my new phone- and I left the old phone at home.
I had no idea what to do...
I called my best friend and woke him from his nap.
He thought I was joking at first until I broke it down for him and told him exactly what happened...then he was on his way
-as a best friend or brother should, no questions asked.
As if summoned by God, no- summoned by God, my mother called.
I missed the call and called her back, but she didn't pick up.
I tried again.
"Hello?" She answered.
"H- hey, mom..." I responded. I had no idea what to say.
"I figured you'd be on the way to the concert by now!" She sounded happy on the other line, pleased that she was able to get the tickets for me and put another smile on my face. My mother lived for her children. I love her to death.
I ignored her excitement.
"Mom, I have bad news..." I told her about what happened, and she was on her way.
I decided to see if there was any damage to the car itself because thanks to God's grace, I didn't have a scratch.
As I got out of the car, I realized that I missed a huge pole and a wall only by a few yards, and I stopped short just a few yards before some trees, and unstable earth.
Meaning that if I would have started spinning a second before, I would have hit the wall, or the pole- if not any cars. The pole wouldn’t be going anywhere- definitely. But I would…
Or, if I just had a little bit more speed and momentum I would've flew off of the shoulder and probably flipped…right into the Marta station that was behind me.
My vehicle stopped in the middle of death…and death.
Right in the middle of danger...and terror.
There was no longer a strong storm's rain- there was a light drizzle.
I wondered why the rain would stop right after my accident.
You can’t question God…

The tow truck came quicker than expected, and the police actually never showed up even though they were called.
Three times.
Goes to show you how awesome they are, how dependable.
When he took a look at the car's position, he asked "How'd you manage to do that?"
The same thing my best friend asked.
I told him I didn't know, that's just what happened; how things ended up.
He paused and shook his head. He explained how the car would usually flip or something, but in this instance there was nothing. Alot of underbody damage, but none on top...none to me.
"You're lucky." He said. "You're blessed."
I honestly don't believe in luck...I think God blesses people. Which is why I wish people peace and blessings, not good luck.

My mother said that when he dropped the car off at the house, he had a solemn look on his face the whole time. As he walked back to his tow truck, he looked at my mother and said "That boy was blesssed."
I believe so too.

As my mother and the family drove home from church today, I noticed her slow driving- below the speed limit. I would usually get mad and complain, but I realized that there are much more things to be worried about in life other than my mother driving five miles below the limit. I should be happy to be alive, and rejoicing over every breath I'm allowed to take-whether it be while talking to a friend, or driving slow with my mother. Be happy and rejoice everytime you step out of bed.
Every time you look into the mirror.
Every time you count your ten fingers.
Every time you walk.
Every time you breath.
Every time you get dressed.
You're blessed, I'm blessed- we're all blessed in our own ways...
Count your blessings...don't let them pass you by.
This accident was a real eye opener...things could have went very differently- but God knew it wasn't time...not yet.

Today I realized SOMETHING:
I was put on this earth for something- to be something, to do something, to fulfill something...It’s only for something I’m here. So I’ll do anything, no I mean- I’ll do everything to prevent nothing to keep me from something.


My people, if you haven’t heard from me, please don’t take it personally….I haven’t called anyone- not even my family. If people know, it’s from word of mouth, or they were randomly picked to be told…somehow. I’m shaken, I’m thinking, I’m evaluating, I’m praising…because
"I could have been dead sleeping in my grave
But God blessed me to see another day…
Even when I did wrong, he was still there…
I’m so glad that god still hears a sinner prayer..."


Please don't think I wrote this to try to milk all the attention I can get, or to make people feel sorry for me. No. I actually didn't think it was that big of a deal until it all started to sink in, and others explained it to me. I wrote this because I wanted to open your eyes. You never know what could happen, or what can happen. You never know.
I should have died yesterday...I didn't.
Why?
Miracles can't be explained, because you can't question God.
Take your blessings without question.

The skid marks

The spin marks

My car's conclusion


If I would have just went a few feet backward......


'
Obama 08...lol


The front left tire...Don't know when that happened



The hub...







Peace & Blessings

Lu


2 comments:

Hollow said...

wow...well just plz remember what i told you @ moya...i believe thats y God allowed you to stay here...listen to Him, open your ears and He will speak to you...i thank God that ur still here lu lu!

Anonymous said...

well told. Yea u r def a eric jerome dickey fan with some of your descriptive metaphors to describe elements in your story. That was gorgeous yet traumatic. U r blessed. Next thing is to find out what you are here to do. Guess what?!? That will come without you realizing it. Just live life!