Myths of Racial Perceptions

On Tyra's show the other day, the issue of interracial dating was discussed. The following quotes were said by the people chosen to confer this particular issue:

White Man: I would never date a black woman, not because of your skin tone but because of how I was raised. You have to think about what the kids would go through. I wouldn’t want my kids to go through what ya’ll go through.
Black Woman: No one understands how hard it is for a black woman. I’m educated. I was always raised to be able to take care of myself because if a black man didn’t want me than I would have to still be able to raise my kids and take care of myself. But what hurts so much is that even after accomplishing all this, black men don’t want me, white men don’t want me, Asian men don’t want me, and Latin men don’t want me. It is so discouraging because at the end of the day, I hear these stereotypes [about black women]-- I’m loud. I’m aggressive. I’m gonna beat my man up or whatever and that is not the case”
White Man: I think white girls that go out with black guys are sluts
Black Woman: Asian women are like black men. They step out on their community. He has issues within himself and he gets a white trophy on his arm for show. Black women are educated. They want a strong man basically we’re (black women and white men) are on the same level. We have the same goals
White Woman: I wasn’t brought up that way. I come from a Christian family. I was told not to date out of your race. My grandparents and my parents have told me not only once, but a lot of times that it’s in the bible that you’re not supposed to date outside of your race.

White Man: It’s sexually derived because stereotypically, black guys are bigger.

Understand that there are STILL people in the world who think like this in 2009-- the year our first African American president has been inaugurated.

You may watch this video or read these statements and believe that these orators are crazy. But due to our society, you may not be too much better yourself.“We all live in America, but culturally we’re completely different.” said a character about the difference between blacks and whites in a movie I was watching recently. This made me raise an eyebrow, but I let it slide off my shoulder.

Later on in the movie, its attempts to get my brain stirred up prevailed.
Interracial relationships were brought up in a conversation, and the conversation went as follows:
“Black men just like you white women because you are easy, docile, and submissive!” A black lady snarled across the room towards a white woman.
“You may still be stuck in the 20’s when EVERY woman was said to be this way, but times have changed! I’m tired of this s**t! I’m sick of the looks I get every time I’m walking anywhere with a black male!” The white woman returned fire.
“Well if you’re sick of it, stop doing it! They’re our men! There are very few good brothers out there, so do you have to dig out of the limited amount that we have?”
“Black men are not a commodity. You don’t own them. They don’t belong to you. They can make choices for themselves!”
The black lady paused before releasing this depressed balloon of a rebuttal:
“Well I don’t care, I’m just real sick of these white b***hes.”

Even though this conversation took place in a movie, its connotation was very real. Real people actually think like this—everyday.
Real people actually believe that a black man, and white woman- or a white man and a black woman shouldn’t be together.
Real people actually stand by this opinion and are willing to declare it to the death.
Real people who are NOT racist.
Real people who ARE indeed ignorant.
Like love, ignorance has no color, so many different people of all kinds of different hues feel the same way.
It’s ridiculous.

First of all…who are they to tell me what I can, or can’t be attracted to?
To tell me what kind of candy I have a taste for?
To tell me what kind of fruit I enjoy?
They are nobody-- to me at least.

I was on a radio show one day, and we were talking about interracial couples. The question was:
“Why do black males like white women?”
I responded “Why not?”
Why can I not look past the skin color of a woman into their personality; their depth? Why must I look past the way she may treat me and ignore the things we have in common, but focus on the mere membrane of a perfectly packed cell? Why can’t I try the shirt on-- feel the fabric, test the looseness, but just look at the color and size? Why can’t I try a new brand of clothing? Can’t I ever open up my mind without being shunned for thinking outside the box that this earth has attempted time and time again to stuff me inside of?

The radio personality blatantly said that she could never date a black man who was down with dating white women, because he could never “handle” her.
Well I guess she’s out of luck, because I could have treated her like a queen—but since I’m open minded, she’ll never ever receive that chance.

I recall telling my mother that I was planning on bringing my ex girlfriend (who is Caucasian) to church with me (a predominately black Methodist church). My mother started to cry.
When I asked her what the problem was, her response was as follows:
“I don’t care who you date, but I told you before that you can do anything but bring her to church. I don’t want you bringing a white woman to our church!”
Extremely offended, I called my mother a racist.
She denied it, of course, and rebutted “I just want you to find a nice black woman who will remain strong and be there by your side…”
My mother has this idea that there’s not a woman out there who can understand the struggles that a black man faces unless she’s black. To be completely frank, I believe that is a crock.

Why?

Because I don’t believe that color marks a person’s level of understanding. I believe that it’s class.
There are black women out there who will never have to lift a finger—meaning that they will never face any resistance, therefore they will fail to fully understand any “struggle” that a black man may have to face. There are also white women who weren’t born with a silver spoon in their mouths, so they have to fight for everything they possess! So is color really an issue, or is it economic class?

Something that I cannot stand is when a person automatically places me in a category due to my past and says the bold statement—“He likes white women.”
What the hell do you mean I “like white women?” You’re damn right I do! I like white women, black women, yellow women, brown women, purple women—shoot, if you’re attractive to me, you JUST ARE. It has nothing to do with your skin color. It has to do with my TASTE.

Another thing that makes my skin crawl is when mixed people have an ignorant input on the issue. How dare a light skinned man or woman protest against interracial relationships?
Guess what, guys? You’re a product of interracial dating! So are YOU a disgrace? Do you regret yourself?

It really bothers me that people can be SO ignorant- especially my fellow African Americans. How DARE we practice racism when we were the target for discrimination for years and years—after our ancestors fought to rise out of slavery, and our predecessors struggled to kill away all prejudice and inequity? How dare we turn around and say “no, my son/friend/daughter/ can’t be with a white woman/man” after years of fighting for the right to SIT NEXT TO EACH OTHER??

We fought for decades to be able to drink from the same water fountain and eat at the same diners, yet when we finally achieve that goal, we choose to flip the script and revive segregation?

Can we say hypocrisy?

Is it payback? Does this make it right?

Am I being completely naive? Or am I just being too optimistic when it comes to addressing the world’s present and future?

What do YOU think?

-- Lucius McCall