Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Brush em off, Obama!
How COOL is he??
So true though...sometimes you just gotta ((get that dirt of your shoulders))
Nuff said.
Change in 08- and beyond.
Vote Obama.
Peace & Blessings
Lu
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Birthday Splash
Footage from my birthday!!!
My roommate busted his ASS!
WHAT KINDA SHIT?!
Poor ryan and his no clothes...lol
Peace & Blessings
GQ
My roommate busted his ASS!
WHAT KINDA SHIT?!
Poor ryan and his no clothes...lol
Peace & Blessings
GQ
Laugh My Anus Off!!!
Wow...
So I was uploading some videos, and I came accross some OLD videos that I uploaded like years ago- literally. lol!
Hilarious.
Check them out.
Triflin ASS Niggas!!
Video of my girls- the flyest females where I live- speaking on a subect they seem to know so much, yet nothing about. Don't we all...lmao @ Ryan's 'Girlfriends' parody at the beginning.
Throwback pt. 1
My best friends and I were walking around 5 points, and we saw this man dancing...I was about to battle him, but my friends pulled me back because they thought he was crazy. lol. He told us his name was Throwback, and that we would see him dancing in Phillips Arena one day..."just watch."
Throwback pt. 2
These hands aint no ho!
LMAO @ my pink shorts! look at them hands, though!
Graduation
I'm explaining my feelings on graduation the day before I walk accross the stage...somebody told me this inspired them
:-)
"My baby"...who's now my ex. She was rubbing my arm- a hot spot, which explains why my face is behind a shelf. lol. ((sigh))...the days...
Snappin
A video of me freestyling...back when I used to rap...lol. What a thug.
Wow...I'm still laughing. Change is good.
Peace & Blessings
Lu
So I was uploading some videos, and I came accross some OLD videos that I uploaded like years ago- literally. lol!
Hilarious.
Check them out.
Triflin ASS Niggas!!
Video of my girls- the flyest females where I live- speaking on a subect they seem to know so much, yet nothing about. Don't we all...lmao @ Ryan's 'Girlfriends' parody at the beginning.
Throwback pt. 1
My best friends and I were walking around 5 points, and we saw this man dancing...I was about to battle him, but my friends pulled me back because they thought he was crazy. lol. He told us his name was Throwback, and that we would see him dancing in Phillips Arena one day..."just watch."
Throwback pt. 2
These hands aint no ho!
LMAO @ my pink shorts! look at them hands, though!
Graduation
I'm explaining my feelings on graduation the day before I walk accross the stage...somebody told me this inspired them
:-)
"My baby"...who's now my ex. She was rubbing my arm- a hot spot, which explains why my face is behind a shelf. lol. ((sigh))...the days...
Snappin
A video of me freestyling...back when I used to rap...lol. What a thug.
Wow...I'm still laughing. Change is good.
Peace & Blessings
Lu
Thursday, April 24, 2008
FUCK YOU HALF ASS!
A Recollection
Famously she descended, her red hair
Unbound and bronzed by sea-reflections, caught
Crinkled with sea-pearls. The fine slender taut
Knees that let down her feet upon the air,
Young breasts, slim flanks and golden quarries were
Odder than when the young distraught
Unknown Venetian, painting her portrait, thought
He'd not imagined what he painted there.
And I too commerced with that golden cloud:
Lipped her delicious hands and had my ease
Faring fantastically, perversely proud.
All loveliness demands our courtesies.
Since she was dead I praised her as I could
Silently, among the Barberini bees.
--John Peale Bishop
Sitting in my creative writing class, we had to paraphrase and analyze the poem above. I really couldn't tell what it was saying...I figured it was a poem about a man painting a picture of a dead woman- I may seem like I ace all literature, but the older poems and stories...hmph.
Anyway, we were talking about the poem, and all of a sudden my prof bellows
"FUCK YOU HALF ASS!!"
I'm appalled, and I look to him for an explanation, as well as look to see who he may be talking to...
He's not talking to anyone, just telling us what the poem was trying to say.
I didn't get it at first...and then I looked closer.
If you don't get it as well, you should look a little closer...
Hint: It's an italian sonnet making fun of older modern poetry...saying it look no talent to write such things...
Okay, for the 2nd gearers...
F
U
C
K
Y
O
U
H
A
L
F
A
S
S
Oh, the love I hold for literature.
Peace & Blessings
Lu
Famously she descended, her red hair
Unbound and bronzed by sea-reflections, caught
Crinkled with sea-pearls. The fine slender taut
Knees that let down her feet upon the air,
Young breasts, slim flanks and golden quarries were
Odder than when the young distraught
Unknown Venetian, painting her portrait, thought
He'd not imagined what he painted there.
And I too commerced with that golden cloud:
Lipped her delicious hands and had my ease
Faring fantastically, perversely proud.
All loveliness demands our courtesies.
Since she was dead I praised her as I could
Silently, among the Barberini bees.
--John Peale Bishop
Sitting in my creative writing class, we had to paraphrase and analyze the poem above. I really couldn't tell what it was saying...I figured it was a poem about a man painting a picture of a dead woman- I may seem like I ace all literature, but the older poems and stories...hmph.
Anyway, we were talking about the poem, and all of a sudden my prof bellows
"FUCK YOU HALF ASS!!"
I'm appalled, and I look to him for an explanation, as well as look to see who he may be talking to...
He's not talking to anyone, just telling us what the poem was trying to say.
I didn't get it at first...and then I looked closer.
If you don't get it as well, you should look a little closer...
Hint: It's an italian sonnet making fun of older modern poetry...saying it look no talent to write such things...
Okay, for the 2nd gearers...
F
U
C
K
Y
O
U
H
A
L
F
A
S
S
Oh, the love I hold for literature.
Peace & Blessings
Lu
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Definition of Real...
Hmm...
IS this the definition of real?
Plies sophomore album cover:
If so...I don't wanna be real...
Plies Explains being 'real'
Do you agree with him? Is this what you think 'real' is? It seems that some of the things he says conflicts with his album cover...
What is real to you?
On another note...I must adress the ignorance passed my way the other day...
"That's why your bitch want a real nigga like me!"
In rebuttal to this below ignorant statement...
I wouldn't mess with a 'bitch' in the first place...I'm more fond of the lady- the woman, than a female dog...I would never refer to someone which I may hold an interest in as a bitch...So you MUST not be talking about a female I'm messing with.
Might I add, if I were to mess with a 'bitch'- by mistake, she probably more than likely would want a 'real nigga'- like you, for that's not me- farrr from it, and I could never help her in that department.
I would never consider myself a real nigga, I feel I'm so much more than that. A real nigga? Who would call themselves that? And if someone were to call me that, I'd take it as an insult, and tell them to watch their mouth...
as well as pimp.
My name is Lucius, and I'm a respectable young gentleman...
Respect me.
Keep the 'bitch', real nigga.
Peace & Blessings
Lu
IS this the definition of real?
Plies sophomore album cover:
If so...I don't wanna be real...
Plies Explains being 'real'
Do you agree with him? Is this what you think 'real' is? It seems that some of the things he says conflicts with his album cover...
What is real to you?
On another note...I must adress the ignorance passed my way the other day...
"That's why your bitch want a real nigga like me!"
In rebuttal to this below ignorant statement...
I wouldn't mess with a 'bitch' in the first place...I'm more fond of the lady- the woman, than a female dog...I would never refer to someone which I may hold an interest in as a bitch...So you MUST not be talking about a female I'm messing with.
Might I add, if I were to mess with a 'bitch'- by mistake, she probably more than likely would want a 'real nigga'- like you, for that's not me- farrr from it, and I could never help her in that department.
I would never consider myself a real nigga, I feel I'm so much more than that. A real nigga? Who would call themselves that? And if someone were to call me that, I'd take it as an insult, and tell them to watch their mouth...
as well as pimp.
My name is Lucius, and I'm a respectable young gentleman...
Respect me.
Keep the 'bitch', real nigga.
Peace & Blessings
Lu
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Beat goes on...
Madonna is back...
And better than ever...in my opinion.
Check out her new banger Beat Goes On featuring Pharrell and Kanye West
http://www.zshare.net/audio/108609500c3e90f9/
http://www.zshare.net/audio/108609500c3e90f9/
I love it when hip hop and pop come together to make this...this...amazing sound that hasn't been heard in some time now.
Music.
Ahh...it's so fresh.
While you're at it, make sure to download Brittney Spears' new joint Break the Ice featuring Fabolous...
HEAT.
Peace & Blessings
Lu
NERD Interview
LMAO
"We don't condone that type of behavior..."
Lol...Pharrell is the coolest.
Can't wait till that Seeing Sounds Album drops...
Everybody Nose is already a banger...What else they got for us?!
Peace & Blessings
Lu
Self Construction
FINALLY!!
Oh my lord...I see hip hop taking a turn
Here's a new joint Called Self Construction by KRS-one featuring Nelly, Talib Kweli, Game, Method Man, Red Man, Styles P, Ne-yo, Busta Rhymes and others whom I forgot.
It's a modern day Self Destruction (you remember that? nahhhh...you don't remember that! lol) check it out...i hope it gets radio play.
http://www.zshare.net/audio/10943413e37e0d87/
"Never had to run from the Ku Klux Klan/ I shouldn't have to run from a black man..."
*sigh*
Finally some substance!
The making of:
STOP THE VIOLENCE MOVEMENT...
ALONG WITH THE LOVEOLUTION...
I see CHANGE, coming...now.
Be a part, or be apart.
Peace & Blessings
Lu
Oh my lord...I see hip hop taking a turn
Here's a new joint Called Self Construction by KRS-one featuring Nelly, Talib Kweli, Game, Method Man, Red Man, Styles P, Ne-yo, Busta Rhymes and others whom I forgot.
It's a modern day Self Destruction (you remember that? nahhhh...you don't remember that! lol) check it out...i hope it gets radio play.
http://www.zshare.net/audio/10943413e37e0d87/
"Never had to run from the Ku Klux Klan/ I shouldn't have to run from a black man..."
*sigh*
Finally some substance!
The making of:
STOP THE VIOLENCE MOVEMENT...
ALONG WITH THE LOVEOLUTION...
I see CHANGE, coming...now.
Be a part, or be apart.
Peace & Blessings
Lu
Mixed feelings
I hate constantly her but hold on to constantly
her and I love yet her I need her on to constantly
let go and her I want to let know to her but unfortunately she
listen doesn’t to me when away hold I her see
her and I love yet her I need her on to constantly
let go and her I want to let know to her but unfortunately she
listen doesn’t to me when away hold I her see
I still that get in ping
heart my kiss my catches want her catches her breath still her
catches her in my chest breath heart catches I my stops yet speeds up
just yet her unfortunately kiss want hate on to hold her and her kiss
catches at the same time her I away want to push
and kill feelings but her like she me hurt
yet her please so in ways many as I doesn’t thought was I doing
But guess I picture there’s a wasn’t girl I in new but she the has
Nothing Never on feelings her and feelings my could her for
compare never
catches her in my chest breath heart catches I my stops yet speeds up
just yet her unfortunately kiss want hate on to hold her and her kiss
catches at the same time her I away want to push
and kill feelings but her like she me hurt
yet her please so in ways many as I doesn’t thought was I doing
But guess I picture there’s a wasn’t girl I in new but she the has
Nothing Never on feelings her and feelings my could her for
compare never
love unfortunately constantly love
love damn
love damn
Peace &
BlessingsLu
Monday, April 21, 2008
Relationship Shit
Ugh...
I get so bothered and envious when I walk around and see couples kissing, see profile pictures full of love, and statuses that share the same. People holding hands, smiling in each other's faces...kissing under a tree...blah...blah...
I overheard this girl talking about what her friend did for her man's birthday.
She planned out this full weekend for him...she was going to rent out a hotel on the beach and take him there, and all his gifts (including a PS3. do you know how much those are?!) were going to be set up in the hotel already. She was going to give him a picture of what was to come, and blah...blah...sweet sweet gooey yummy love.
Always with a bitter aftertaste...
See, everybody thinks you need someone in the winter cuz "it gets cold at night"...I mean, that's nice, but I like a shorty in the summer, too! A girl I can take to the beach...a woman I can sit on the lawn with and read...Someone to swim with, have a lil water fight...Someone to have fun in the sun...
I been done chasing...hundreds of women half naked in the sun doesn't catch my attention anymore...I've wanted that ONE that holds my attention...through it all.
But then I thank God when I see the trife things these men and women do...the things that people in relationships have to go through...
I was watching The Hills today (yes, I was watching The Hills. If you don't like it, sue me!), and I saw how Heidi and Spencer just had NO peace when it came to anything that had to do with them...they remind me of the bottom of the bottom of the pot of a relationship...where there's no turning back to how things used to be- and everybody can see this but the people in the relationship. The constant arguing, the looks in their eyes, tones in their voices...the pure dislike- so close to hatred, and so far from love. Seeing that makes me glad I don't have to deal with it, and hinders me from wanting to even get close to it again...
Ugh.
Relationship shit...
Def not what I'm looking for right now...
I'm on a quest for happiness- that's all...somebody I can hang with with no drama, no arguing, no stress- just stress relieving. A shorty...
Yeah...
I'm looking for one of those...
Peace & Blessings
Lu
I get so bothered and envious when I walk around and see couples kissing, see profile pictures full of love, and statuses that share the same. People holding hands, smiling in each other's faces...kissing under a tree...blah...blah...
I overheard this girl talking about what her friend did for her man's birthday.
She planned out this full weekend for him...she was going to rent out a hotel on the beach and take him there, and all his gifts (including a PS3. do you know how much those are?!) were going to be set up in the hotel already. She was going to give him a picture of what was to come, and blah...blah...sweet sweet gooey yummy love.
Always with a bitter aftertaste...
See, everybody thinks you need someone in the winter cuz "it gets cold at night"...I mean, that's nice, but I like a shorty in the summer, too! A girl I can take to the beach...a woman I can sit on the lawn with and read...Someone to swim with, have a lil water fight...Someone to have fun in the sun...
I been done chasing...hundreds of women half naked in the sun doesn't catch my attention anymore...I've wanted that ONE that holds my attention...through it all.
But then I thank God when I see the trife things these men and women do...the things that people in relationships have to go through...
I was watching The Hills today (yes, I was watching The Hills. If you don't like it, sue me!), and I saw how Heidi and Spencer just had NO peace when it came to anything that had to do with them...they remind me of the bottom of the bottom of the pot of a relationship...where there's no turning back to how things used to be- and everybody can see this but the people in the relationship. The constant arguing, the looks in their eyes, tones in their voices...the pure dislike- so close to hatred, and so far from love. Seeing that makes me glad I don't have to deal with it, and hinders me from wanting to even get close to it again...
Ugh.
Relationship shit...
Def not what I'm looking for right now...
I'm on a quest for happiness- that's all...somebody I can hang with with no drama, no arguing, no stress- just stress relieving. A shorty...
Yeah...
I'm looking for one of those...
Peace & Blessings
Lu
Jets
There is a man in my Bio class who sits in front of me...
he's a light skinned brother...bald head...
not too stylish...well...not stylish at all, actually. lol
It's not him that catches my attention, it's what he does...
every class session he opens his laptop, and starts to take the notes that the prof gives us...like every other classmate...
but then he gets on Youtube...
and searches jets...
jets...
jets flying, jets getting blown up, helicopters being tied down...
and for an hour and 15 minutes, he sits there and watches...
jets.
over and over and over again...
blue jets, gray jets, old jets, new jets...
and i really just don't get it...
maybe i should ask him.
Jets...
Peace & Blessings
Lu
he's a light skinned brother...bald head...
not too stylish...well...not stylish at all, actually. lol
It's not him that catches my attention, it's what he does...
every class session he opens his laptop, and starts to take the notes that the prof gives us...like every other classmate...
but then he gets on Youtube...
and searches jets...
jets...
jets flying, jets getting blown up, helicopters being tied down...
and for an hour and 15 minutes, he sits there and watches...
jets.
over and over and over again...
blue jets, gray jets, old jets, new jets...
and i really just don't get it...
maybe i should ask him.
Jets...
Peace & Blessings
Lu
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Echo
Echo
I wait and listen for even your faintest
whisper, as the silence
echoes around me
and I vaguely see the illustration of your
shadow only to get lost in your faded
memory
It's been so long since I've felt your presence
but they say time is of the essence
so then why is your
absence
killing me inside
no matter how hard I try
to forget you
your face remains in my mind
as if you were mine
but you're not
I tell myself I should let you go but my
heart tells me no... I vowed
that I would never succumb to the
pain
though that only allows me to sit here and wait
to commiserate
in the emptiness that embodies my whole
being, inevitably seeing that I'm internally bleeding
leaving my reality to rely on my dreaming
of what you & I could've been
so I'm left to reminisc of all of you that
I will miss
lost in a state of bliss that you may call
ignorance, but I call it my high off
you
and me
what I used to call "we"
yet my sadness overrules and the realization that
you are gone sets in
I try hard to forget, or better yet-
not to remember...
to obliterate anything that had me
caught in my sweet oblivion;
to erase all obscure images of an unrequited
love
cause time waits for nothing and we've
borrowed enough from
the destiny we'll never have
so I'll remain confined to this blind
state of mind
...attempting to free my soul rhyme after rhyme...
Yet I have been forsaken
and to try to regain what I have lost
would be to no avail...
Cause what I feel cannot be seen or touched, it lies beneath
my skin
And the whisper of your distant heart
echoes somewhere within....
I wait and listen for even your faintest
whisper, as the silence
echoes around me
and I vaguely see the illustration of your
shadow only to get lost in your faded
memory
It's been so long since I've felt your presence
but they say time is of the essence
so then why is your
absence
killing me inside
no matter how hard I try
to forget you
your face remains in my mind
as if you were mine
but you're not
I tell myself I should let you go but my
heart tells me no... I vowed
that I would never succumb to the
pain
though that only allows me to sit here and wait
to commiserate
in the emptiness that embodies my whole
being, inevitably seeing that I'm internally bleeding
leaving my reality to rely on my dreaming
of what you & I could've been
so I'm left to reminisc of all of you that
I will miss
lost in a state of bliss that you may call
ignorance, but I call it my high off
you
and me
what I used to call "we"
yet my sadness overrules and the realization that
you are gone sets in
I try hard to forget, or better yet-
not to remember...
to obliterate anything that had me
caught in my sweet oblivion;
to erase all obscure images of an unrequited
love
cause time waits for nothing and we've
borrowed enough from
the destiny we'll never have
so I'll remain confined to this blind
state of mind
...attempting to free my soul rhyme after rhyme...
Yet I have been forsaken
and to try to regain what I have lost
would be to no avail...
Cause what I feel cannot be seen or touched, it lies beneath
my skin
And the whisper of your distant heart
echoes somewhere within....
--poem by an amazing fellow writer...
Laura.
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Uh...I love puppies...
Yeah...I'll admit it.
I love puppies.
I know, random...but I just had to get it out.
I went with my best friend to a girl's house, and I almost lost it when three puppies rushed at me. Three, pound-cute (you know, the dogs that had the potential to be cute, yet they were from the pound- but they're still cute) puppies. They jumped on top of me, licked me, barked and yelped...
One kept placing her paws on my shoulders, and biting my ear from behind...hilarious.
They were so excited, and no matter what they may have been through, they still had so much love to give...and they still wanted love.
As I sat on the fountain and thought the other day- one of those beautiful days I talked about, a golden retriever ran up and dove into the water. It started to play with a ball it found, letting it drop out of it's mouth into the water, and dipping it's head under the surface to grab it.
I laughed and tried to call it over, but it paid me no attention...This just made me want a dog of my own.
I love puppies.
I know, random...but I just had to get it out.
I went with my best friend to a girl's house, and I almost lost it when three puppies rushed at me. Three, pound-cute (you know, the dogs that had the potential to be cute, yet they were from the pound- but they're still cute) puppies. They jumped on top of me, licked me, barked and yelped...
One kept placing her paws on my shoulders, and biting my ear from behind...hilarious.
They were so excited, and no matter what they may have been through, they still had so much love to give...and they still wanted love.
As I sat on the fountain and thought the other day- one of those beautiful days I talked about, a golden retriever ran up and dove into the water. It started to play with a ball it found, letting it drop out of it's mouth into the water, and dipping it's head under the surface to grab it.
I laughed and tried to call it over, but it paid me no attention...This just made me want a dog of my own.
I have a dog at home, my mix-mutt Sheba, whom I love so much, but I want one I have access to. One I can walk, and play with...
One huge thing I love about dogs is their loyalty...
I want a puppy, and I can't be with a woman who doesn't like dogs...
Some of you may think I'm gay because of this...
One huge thing I love about dogs is their loyalty...
I want a puppy, and I can't be with a woman who doesn't like dogs...
Some of you may think I'm gay because of this...
take a number and get in line, ye of the close minded tribe.
Peace & Blessings
Lu
Peace & Blessings
Lu
Heeerrreee's Jimmy!
I'd also be lying if I said I used to like him before...haha.
I didn't. He used to be the off-beat rapper that hyped up a Cam track with words...I called him Cam's hype man.
But ever since We Fly High came out and banged the charts last year, this man has been doing the thizzy- true stillz.
Through the Dip Set break up, Cam's disappearance and Max B (the terrible singer that seems to sound good when he sings...kinda like Nate Dogg) throwing shots at him he seems to have stayed strong and on top of water. Now he's releasing a new mixtape with all new bangers, inderludes, and the introduction of the S.P.L.A.S.H. life.
The beats are nasty, the swag is monkey food, and the interludes...
wow.
Like Shawty Lo, it's not the rhymes that gets sales...it's the swag. And big homie has it.
"I see ya'll out there waiting for the next move! Waiting to see what we're going to wear next! Some of you can't even get dressed without it! We wrap them scarves up, cuz we don't wanna see you funny niggas!"
hahaha...so true though. So sad, yet so true.
Get it before it's eaten up!
SPLASH!!! Follow the drip!
Download link below...
Jim Jones Street Religion: Love Me No More Edition
CHANGE
Check this out
What do you think about this?
Is change good?
Have we as a people come a long way, or are we just doing a circle dance in a yo-yo society?
Think about it...
Peace & Blessings
Lu
What do you think about this?
Is change good?
Have we as a people come a long way, or are we just doing a circle dance in a yo-yo society?
Think about it...
Peace & Blessings
Lu
Outside
Lol...reality.
I mean, the Internet wasn't closed of course, but I didn't feel like doing work, or whatever I'd be doing INSIDE...
I decided to enjoy the beautiful day- once again.
Once again, there wasn't a cloud in the sky, and the
breeze and heat was balanced...Not too cold, not too hot...
just right, like the baby bear's porridge.
I left my 2 o'clock and walked to Firehouse Subs with a friend of mine. I'd never had a sub from there, and I heard good things about it, SO I decided to try it out myself.
YUM.
We then decided to enjoy more of the day, and we walked to checkers...
I had some fries.
YUM.
yeah...I'm a fat man at heart...and I know if I keep it up, I'll be a fat man at body!
((lame joke drum chime))
But anyway, later on I decided to fill out an application as I sat under the shade...
I'm just taking life as it comes...who knows when I enter the realest life (right now, we're in the real life...when we graduate we'll be in the realer life, and when we own our own place with kids and a full time- that's the REALEST life, you feel me?) if I'll ever be able to just chill and enjoy the breeze...with no worries or stresses?
So why not do it now...
So many of us run around and find so much to do that we forget about the small things in life...
Like Kanye said "the best things in life are free..."
I'm just starting to understand.
Sometimes you just need to take a deep breath- inhale that fresh air- get that natural high- relax...
Try it...it works.
Go outside, look at the beauty around you, think about your blessings, and take a DEEP breath...
-HOLD it...
...
then release slowly...
Peace & Blessings
Lu
Wow :-)
As I enter the library and walk by a few computers, one of them catches my eye...
the screen held a familiar picture...
the picture i used for my Stereotype story!
I nearly stopped in my tracks...
but I kept on my trot as a broad smile spread over my face.
the feeling of somebody reading your work...wow. lol
I mean i know people read it due to the wonderful feedback i get, but the fact that somebody is sitting there into the story...and YOU created it...
wow.
that feeling.
i can't do anything but smile...
the screen held a familiar picture...
the picture i used for my Stereotype story!
I nearly stopped in my tracks...
but I kept on my trot as a broad smile spread over my face.
the feeling of somebody reading your work...wow. lol
I mean i know people read it due to the wonderful feedback i get, but the fact that somebody is sitting there into the story...and YOU created it...
wow.
that feeling.
i can't do anything but smile...
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Stereotype {Jack}
What the hell was I supposed to do?
Where could I turn?
My mother was dying from breast cancer, I was getting evicted from my apartment, my car broke down, I was out of a job and nobody would hire me. I had under a hundred dollars to my name, with no idea of where I could get more money. I couldn’t even buy a train pass. To keep from risking jail time by jumping over the railing to get a free ride home, I asked around for some change. It was late, and there weren’t much people around, so I was stuck with just asking the very few people that walked by.
My luck wasn’t looking too hot.
Everybody told me no, each excuse matching the one before it- they didn’t have change, cash, an extra token, blah, blah, blah. I remember being in their shoes before when people would ask me for some money and I would always deny them due to the fact that I was stingy, or I was just too damn lazy to reach into my pocket.
Karma is a bitch, aint it?
Just like life.
I really wished they were in my shoes so they could see how desperate I was.
Time was running, and it was getting colder. Nobody walked by me for some time.
I felt so pitiful, so low.
Begging?
I would have never thought I’d be a damn beggar.
How humiliating…
Finally I saw three black guys coming my way. They certainly didn’t look like they had any extra money, and I was about to just let them pass by, but I figured I should try my luck.
The worst I could get was a no, right?
“Hey my brothers,” I approached them reluctantly. They stopped and looked at me. “Do you have any change I can use to get on this train?”
They looked at each other, and immediately started to dig in their pockets. I was relieved that there was a chance, but I didn’t get my hopes up.
A second later, a dollar fifty was in my hand- the price of a train ride.
I thanked God, and then thanked them.
They started to walk to the gates, sliding their Breeze cards and easing through the railings when they opened. I guess these guys rode the train all the time. People that hardly rode the train used change, or tokens to ride. I inserted my money and slid through the railing. I went down some stairs, and saw the three boys running towards a train. I didn’t feel like running, but I didn’t know if another one would be coming soon after, so I started to run. One of the guys held the door open for me with his body as it started to close.
Two favors…that were much needed.
I thanked them again, and looked for a seat on the empty train.
The train as empty as my mind…
I needed a blunt.
I sat towards the back of the car alone, and rested my head on the back of the seat in front of me. I closed my eyes and started to think.
I wanted to think positively, but there was nothing positive going on in my life.
Nothing.
The only thing that held a chance of being positive was the fact that I was still breathing…
But was that positive?
To be honest, sometimes I felt that I’d rather die than live this life…
I pulled out my pocket knife and started to finger it.
Times like this make you want to rob somebody…kill somebody.
Take their happiness.
I just didn’t understand how some people could just have everything they ever wanted, and then some had to suffer. Why did I have to be one of the suffering? Did I deserve this?
I looked up to check out my surroundings.
There were the three guys I got the money from, and beyond them was a white guy on the other end of the train. I didn’t notice him when I first got on. I focused my vision on him.
He seemed to be a typical upper class male. The guy you saw when ‘white guy’ crossed your mind. The rich, the happy, the ‘how about those Yankees, Bill?’ type of guy. I wondered why he was on the train this late. Why was he even on the train? Where was his chauffer? He looked like he just walked out of a damn photo shoot.
He knew no pain.
He knew nothing about being without.
He probably had things brought to him on a silver platter by a butler named Farnsworth.
I looked at him with hatred in my eyes, and then I realized that he shared the same stare for the black boys sitting across from him.
I noticed how he would stare at them, and then as soon as one of them would look his way, he’d turn his gaze towards something else.
What a racist prick.
I was about to put my head down until I heard one of the guys say something to him.
I tried to listen, but I couldn’t really hear- due to the fact that they were on the other side of the car. I rested my head back on the seat.
The negative thoughts returned.
I needed money.
What would I do about getting money?
What could I do?
Nobody would hire me due to the priors on my records, and I had no transportation to even get anywhere.
What could I do?
The train stopped.
I looked up in time to see the three boys exit the train. They looked bothered. I looked at the white guy, and he gave me a smirk. The smirk told me that he probably said something smart to set the three guys off. He popped earphones from an Ipod into his ear.
I didn’t like that guy.
I didn’t like the way he was looking at the black dudes as if they were the scum of the Earth. I didn’t like how he seemed to think he was better than them; better than me.
I didn’t like that he seemed to have what I wanted.
I needed money- what could I do?
I finally knew.
I contemplated as we neared the last stop.
Was it worth it? Do I need to do this? Would I get much?
Every answer seemed to lean towards a yes.
I didn’t need to think about it…I just needed to do it.
He had money, so he would just get a scare. Then he’d bounce back.
Finally, the last stop. My heart started pounding.
This world wasn’t for me. Why was it for him?
He got up and left the train. I also exited.
Why did he deserve to have what I wanted?
He probably had a grand on him, if not- a credit card with no limit.
I followed him to the parking deck where you could park your cars, and then ride the bus or train. He had a relaxed stroll as if he had no worries in the world. That’s usually how rich people were. They didn’t have a care.
I saw his hands strumming an imaginary guitar as I got closer.
I sped up behind him, and it wasn’t until I almost stepped on him that he realized I was there. He looked behind him, saw me there, and jumped as if he were startled.
“Oh my God, it’s you!” He exclaimed. He pulled out an earpiece. “Wow. For a second I thought you were one of those three black guys on the train. I was scared for a little bit, but I knew they wouldn’t do anything to me with you on the train. What’s up, bro?”
The ignorance that poured out of his mouth sealed the deal.
“Give me your money.” I demanded. “Bro.” I added.
“Huh?” He looked confused as if he didn't understand- as if this could never happen to him. Oh, the naïve.
“Give me your fucking money!” I raised my voice, and pulled my knife out of my pocket and showed it to him. “I’m not playing. I don’t have time for this. Give me the iPod, and your money. Now!”
His expression changed from flabbergasted to petrified.
I stayed my place, and demanded what I wanted once again.
He took his time taking off the other iPod earplug.
“Hurry the fuck up! I have no time to waste!” I looked around to make sure there was nobody else around. The parking lot was clear.
“Empty your pockets, man. Empty them! I want the iPod too, man.”
He gave me the iPod, and I stuffed it into my pocket. He took out his wallet, and it dropped from his hands. As I kneeled down to get it, he took off running.
I snatched up the wallet, and started to chase him, and then changed my mind.
Why chase him down? I got what I wanted.
I got what I needed.
I frantically looked around to see if there were any witnesses.
I saw no one.
I started to run.
I ran until I got out of the Marta station, and I ran some more.
I ran until I was blocks away, and the deed was behind me- yet the evidence in my hands.
I leaned against a sign to catch my breath.
Opening the wallet, my chest heaving, I was excited to see what I retrieved. I knew I had to have enough to get me off my feet- at least give me a little push towards helping myself.
I peered inside the brown wallet, and didn’t see much. An ID, some coupons, some cards, and a hundred dollar bill.
A hundred dollars?
What the hell?
Was the guy not rich? He looked like he modeled for Prada!
A disappointment.
A waste of time.
I needed to get home before the cops started to look for me. I’d be damned if I went to prison for a hundred dollars.
I backed away from the sign so I could see where I was.
Northside Drive is what the sign read.
Lucius McCall
Stereotype {Omari}
I was dead tired from the basketball game me and my brothers just played.
Winning wore me out…haha.
I couldn’t wait to get home to take a shower.
My brothers and I found seats on the train, and placed our bags down. We remained standing.
“Man, we finna be the champions, shawty!” my brother Jamal yelled out. “You saw how I dunked on his ass?”
He started to do the motions.
He screamed out “Youuullll!” as he dunked on the imaginary man in front of him.
I laughed. “Man, whatever. I was the one making them threes!” I did a fade-away motion as I stepped backwards. “I was on point today, bruh.”
It felt good to win a game, and playing basketball was the only time I really ever got to see my old friends anymore. We were a winning team on the South side.
I took a look around the train and saw the guy we gave change to sitting on the other end of the train. His head was down, and it rocked with the motions of the train.
He seemed down and out, as if he felt he had no purpose.
I hoped things got better for him…there was no reason for a guy to seem so upset.
I know he wasn’t living the life we were used to…
I looked over at the white guy sitting alone across from us.
His expression looked as if he were startled because he saw black people on the train.
He probably doesn’t think I noticed him turn off his iPod as soon as he saw us.
What, did he think we were going to steal it?
He probably doesn’t think I see him staring at us out of the corner of his eyes…
I’m not stupid.
I’m used to it.
Everywhere I go with my brothers on the North side of Atlanta, we get stared at. My mother recently moved us to that area for a better life, but it seemed that no matter where we went, trouble followed us. It didn’t matter if we moved out of the hood, the darkness of the ghetto still left us in the shade.
I hated the way people looked at us on the North side- as if we didn’t belong there. As if we were scum. As if we had to ask permission before every move. Going to a new school with all those white people…it just made me feel so uncomfortable. Then the black kids who were there acted just like the white kids…
They acted like we were going to hurt them!
This makes you want to cause harm to them since they already have it fixed in their minds that you will!
Just because we couldn’t afford a polo short, dress shoes, and hundred dollar khakis, I guess we were lower than the others, huh?
What’s on the outside determines a man, right?
A skin color, right?
I was so sick of it.
He continued to stare indirectly.
I came to the conclusion that this stupid rich guy is either racist, or gay
-or both.
I tried to ignore him, but I got tired of him trying to watch us on the sly- but obviously not sly enough. It was time to dead this.
“Can I help you?” I asked him.
“Excuse me?” He seemed surprised as he looked at me, then my brothers.
“Can I help you?” I repeated myself. “You keep looking over at me and my brothers as if there may be a problem that we don’t know about. Maybe you can share it with us.”
“It’s a free country, man.” He responded. “I’ve just been looking around. Why are you being so paranoid? I just want to get home. Just like you.”
“Don't be stupid! Looking around is fine man, but you keep looking at us as if you’ve never seen black people before!” I was getting angry, and his nonchalant attitude was adding fuel to the fire. I hated being treated like the inferior.
“Leave that faggot alone, bruh.” My brother Tee-Jay grabbed my arm. “It’s not that serious. This our stop. Fuck his gay ass.”
We grabbed our bags, and as we exited I looked back at the gay guy. He was staring back. I shook my head.
“Haha, that man in there thought you were cute, boy!” Jamal cried out. I pushed him away from me. “With his ol tight shirt wearing ass looking like his fat just wanna be set free got damn!"
I laughed. My brothers knew how to cool me down. "Where mama said she was gonna meet us at?”
Stereotype {Tyler}
I didn’t know what to do as I stood at the rail side waiting for the train to arrive.
I was alone.
I tapped my feet impatiently, wishing it would hurry up. It was late, about one o’clock in the morning, and my date was on another train headed home- headed west. Her train was on time.
I couldn’t say the same for mine.
I was impatiently waiting for the train going north.
I was standing at the connector, the middle stop; the train station that connected all ways- the North, East, South, and West sides of Atlanta.
The stop of diversity…Five Points.
You would come to this station to go downtown, to go to a Braves game, the airport, to work etc. It separated the venues, along with the races, the incomes, and the attitudes of Metro Atlanta.
The rich went north and west, the poor went east and south.
The college students went north and west, the thugs and drug addicts went south and east.
I was just a young, middle class, struggling college male trying to get home- northbound.
Marta is smarter is what I always heard.
It’s smart until you’re alone at night trying to get a ride home without driving (do you see the gas prices?), or taking a taxi (1.50 a mile? Screw that!). That, my friend, is when riding the Marta was just plain stupid.
The advertisements for riding the train were nice and attracting, polite and persuading. But the news stories about Marta were the opposite.
‘Young teen robbed and killed at Five Points station.’
‘Three friends were brutally beaten at the Six Flags Train Station after leaving the Six Flags Amusement Park.’
‘Girl raped in the bathroom at College Park Train Station.’
‘College student pushed onto the train tracks when the train arrives as a gang initiation.’
I didn’t want to seem terrified, but I was.
I stood there and prayed, asking Him to allow me to get onto this train, ride to my stop, get into my car and drive home without getting raped and killed by hoodlums who didn’t care about anything. I had a lot to lose, unlike the people who lived in the ghetto.
What made me feel even worse about this situation were the clothes I was wearing. I had on an outfit my sister picked out for me before she left for the Navy, and it’s been my ‘first date outfit’ ever since. Before she helped me out, I had no fashion sense whatsoever, and after she left, I could only see it getting worse. So I stuck to what I knew looked good. My white Polo shirt, Express Producer Khakis, white Aldo square toed shoes, and white rimmed D&G glasses were begging robbers to come strip me from my forged wealth. Little did they know, I only had a hundred dollars to call my own.
I heard a rumbling and felt the ground shaking.
I blew a kiss to God as the screeching of the brakes started.
The train was here.
I got on the train relieved- happy that I didn’t have to deal with the bull others had to deal with. Maybe they were busy robbing somebody else.
Smart choice on their part. I had nothing to give.
I closed my eyes as the train pulled from the stop and headed North.
I was relieved to be leaving behind the filth; the malevolent; the grime; the soil.
The opportunity…let them try to catch me now!
The blacks…
Don’t get me wrong, I’m in no way racist. I have black friends! I talk to black people! I tutor them at school! Blacks are cool.
The ones who lived east and south weren’t though. Who do you think were doing the robbing, stealing, and killing on the Marta lines? White popes? People doing things with their lives like college students?
Every time you turn on the TV, you see a black man killing somebody. You hear about it on the news- them killing each other. You see the rap videos. They praise selling drugs, having sex, and murder. They don’t mind going to jail. And white people, we’re supposed to be the crackers. We’re supposedly the ones after them. According to them, they don’t do anything! We arrest them for no reason. We want them all in jail…we want to enslave them. We’re the reason they have drugs in their community. They need to get over the events that happened hundreds of years ago, and look at the present and try to better themselves instead of taking the easy way out any blaming everyone else for their problems!
Nigga.
They call each other that, and it’s every other word out of their mouth. But as soon as someone a little lighter says it, tension arises. Tension too thick to cut with a steak knife.
If you walk around downtown, you see the crack heads, the homeless, and the dealers. They are all black. They have nothing to lose. Why wouldn’t they rob somebody? A life in jail would be better than the one they have now!
The African Americans who live where I live have a head on their shoulders. I would call them more white than black. That guy running for president right now who is a little darker than everyone else is not black. I’m actually voting for him.
Racist?
My ass.
I took a seat, popped in my earphones and turned on my iPod. I relaxed a little. I could trust that I would get home safe. I was headed North.
I closed my eyes again, and listened to the sweet sounds of Pink Floyd.
Stop after stop I felt the train stopping and going; stopping and going. I had a long way to go, and I decided it would be nice to nap through it.
I could trust it.
Nothing happened on the north side of Atlanta.
I was alone.
I tapped my feet impatiently, wishing it would hurry up. It was late, about one o’clock in the morning, and my date was on another train headed home- headed west. Her train was on time.
I couldn’t say the same for mine.
I was impatiently waiting for the train going north.
I was standing at the connector, the middle stop; the train station that connected all ways- the North, East, South, and West sides of Atlanta.
The stop of diversity…Five Points.
You would come to this station to go downtown, to go to a Braves game, the airport, to work etc. It separated the venues, along with the races, the incomes, and the attitudes of Metro Atlanta.
The rich went north and west, the poor went east and south.
The college students went north and west, the thugs and drug addicts went south and east.
I was just a young, middle class, struggling college male trying to get home- northbound.
Marta is smarter is what I always heard.
It’s smart until you’re alone at night trying to get a ride home without driving (do you see the gas prices?), or taking a taxi (1.50 a mile? Screw that!). That, my friend, is when riding the Marta was just plain stupid.
The advertisements for riding the train were nice and attracting, polite and persuading. But the news stories about Marta were the opposite.
‘Young teen robbed and killed at Five Points station.’
‘Three friends were brutally beaten at the Six Flags Train Station after leaving the Six Flags Amusement Park.’
‘Girl raped in the bathroom at College Park Train Station.’
‘College student pushed onto the train tracks when the train arrives as a gang initiation.’
I didn’t want to seem terrified, but I was.
I stood there and prayed, asking Him to allow me to get onto this train, ride to my stop, get into my car and drive home without getting raped and killed by hoodlums who didn’t care about anything. I had a lot to lose, unlike the people who lived in the ghetto.
What made me feel even worse about this situation were the clothes I was wearing. I had on an outfit my sister picked out for me before she left for the Navy, and it’s been my ‘first date outfit’ ever since. Before she helped me out, I had no fashion sense whatsoever, and after she left, I could only see it getting worse. So I stuck to what I knew looked good. My white Polo shirt, Express Producer Khakis, white Aldo square toed shoes, and white rimmed D&G glasses were begging robbers to come strip me from my forged wealth. Little did they know, I only had a hundred dollars to call my own.
I heard a rumbling and felt the ground shaking.
I blew a kiss to God as the screeching of the brakes started.
The train was here.
I got on the train relieved- happy that I didn’t have to deal with the bull others had to deal with. Maybe they were busy robbing somebody else.
Smart choice on their part. I had nothing to give.
I closed my eyes as the train pulled from the stop and headed North.
I was relieved to be leaving behind the filth; the malevolent; the grime; the soil.
The opportunity…let them try to catch me now!
The blacks…
Don’t get me wrong, I’m in no way racist. I have black friends! I talk to black people! I tutor them at school! Blacks are cool.
The ones who lived east and south weren’t though. Who do you think were doing the robbing, stealing, and killing on the Marta lines? White popes? People doing things with their lives like college students?
Every time you turn on the TV, you see a black man killing somebody. You hear about it on the news- them killing each other. You see the rap videos. They praise selling drugs, having sex, and murder. They don’t mind going to jail. And white people, we’re supposed to be the crackers. We’re supposedly the ones after them. According to them, they don’t do anything! We arrest them for no reason. We want them all in jail…we want to enslave them. We’re the reason they have drugs in their community. They need to get over the events that happened hundreds of years ago, and look at the present and try to better themselves instead of taking the easy way out any blaming everyone else for their problems!
Nigga.
They call each other that, and it’s every other word out of their mouth. But as soon as someone a little lighter says it, tension arises. Tension too thick to cut with a steak knife.
If you walk around downtown, you see the crack heads, the homeless, and the dealers. They are all black. They have nothing to lose. Why wouldn’t they rob somebody? A life in jail would be better than the one they have now!
The African Americans who live where I live have a head on their shoulders. I would call them more white than black. That guy running for president right now who is a little darker than everyone else is not black. I’m actually voting for him.
Racist?
My ass.
I took a seat, popped in my earphones and turned on my iPod. I relaxed a little. I could trust that I would get home safe. I was headed North.
I closed my eyes again, and listened to the sweet sounds of Pink Floyd.
Stop after stop I felt the train stopping and going; stopping and going. I had a long way to go, and I decided it would be nice to nap through it.
I could trust it.
Nothing happened on the north side of Atlanta.
***
I opened my eyes to see how many stops I had left, and was staggered at the sight.
The people I saw were obviously headed the wrong way. I sat up straight and shut off my iPod. I thought I was alone on the train, but I guess the hooligans snuck on as I napped. They were probably plotting to do something right now. I pretended to be looking at my iPod, but I glanced at them a couple times.
There were three of them.
All in the same attire…the usual apparel. A long white tee that looked like a dress, baggy jeans that were sagged to their knees, and Air Force One sneakers. Each of them held a sports bag, which I doubted had anything ‘sporty’ in it. It was probably filled with drugs or money- or stolen items. Isn’t that what the song Duffle Bag Boy is about?
What were they doing?
Why were they headed to the North?
There was nothing up there for them!
Was I on the wrong train?
I sat up straight and pulled my earphones out. If I was going down, they were going to have to work hard. There would be no sneaking up on me tonight. I noticed one was looking my way. I looked back. I wasn’t going to look away and let them know I was scared
- because I was.
He looked away, and started talking to his friends. They laughed and carried on. I hated the way blacks were so loud and obnoxious. Yes, the train was public transportation, but it didn’t matter. You had to have an inside voice at times. I guess their parents were too busy in and out of jail to raise their children. I looked at the window beside me so I could see their reflections without them knowing I was watching their every move.
As I turned my head I noticed a man on the far side of the train in front of me.
A white guy, facing me.
He had his head down on the chair in front of him as if he were resting it, or taking a nap.
I relaxed a little bit, because I doubted they would do anything with a witness present.
I just hoped that he wouldn’t get off before they did.
Stay?
For years I've wanted to attend a college in the city...
and I finally have a chance.
ALOT is weighing on me being able to go to a school in the middle of the city- GA State.
I want to go so bad, but I'm not really stressing too much over it because I know at the end of the day, God's will will be. Period. That's the ONLY way I've made it where I am today.
If he wants me there at GA State, I'll be there at GA State...
and I finally have a chance.
ALOT is weighing on me being able to go to a school in the middle of the city- GA State.
I want to go so bad, but I'm not really stressing too much over it because I know at the end of the day, God's will will be. Period. That's the ONLY way I've made it where I am today.
If he wants me there at GA State, I'll be there at GA State...
with my car...
my job...
New experiences...
My brothers...
Access to all the opportunities I miss while I'm in this country town- Valdosta. Ugh.
I'll be closer to home- 30 mins away from a home cooked meal.
I'll be even more focused- I think.
Parties!!
Women!!
Excitement!!
Ugh. Everything GOOD is over there...EVERYTHING.
And it's all on me...
I've been on the ball, I just need to stay on it...
But on a side note, to be completely honest...
some things make me want to stay here at V-state...
Like how gorgeous it is on a nice day...(look above- *cam phone!*)
The weather...
The lack of skyscrapers blocking the stars...
The water fountains (that have been off due to the drought, but they're still there!)
The campus is gorgeous...relaxing...I can spend time with ME.
I don't have to worry about my phone ringing off the hook all the time cuz my mom needs me home to watch my sisters or whatever...
I can sit back and count my blessings as the sun beams on me and those around me...
Am I... getting... country?
HELL NO! **I get up to dust myself off and recoup**
Whatever...I'm not worried about it.
I pray that God will have his way.
Peace & Blessings
Lu
True Beauty = Natural
Now if you know me, you know I like beautiful women...
Black women, white women, yellow women, green women, blue women...etc.
If you're beautiful- I'm attracted to you.
Period.
But what is beautiful to me???
Let me break it down for you as far as outer appearance...
I love natural beauty. I don't do the whole weave thing...the whole colored contacts thing...the whole red hair thing...the whole fake nails thing...the whole GLOBS of makeup thing...
Talking about it's your hair cuz you paid for it?
No, baby...
I love the natural look...not the let's destroy my hair with all types of chemicals so I can't run because I may sweat it out, or swim because it'll mess it up...
I love the NA-TU-RAL LOOK.
When a woman can roll out of bed and leave the crib and STILL look stunning- THAT is beauty.
Beauty is NOT when you sit around and apply hours worth of make-up on for one night...
No.
That's actually pretty ugly- to be frank.
I was with a girl whom I though looked gorgeous when she woke up.
I used to watch her sleep- no creep.
I mean, I wouldn't be sitting there for HOURS, but when I would wake up in the middle of the night and glance at her, I just couldn't pull my eyes away...
OFF TOPIC!
Anyway, I saw this picture and it made me really think about beaty- and what I thought it was, and I decided to share with YOU what I thought it was.
Behold, BEAUTY!
When you can walk out of the crib in some sweats- Coutre, PINK, Old Navy, whatever and still look amazing- you're beautiful, baby.
Black women, white women, yellow women, green women, blue women...etc.
If you're beautiful- I'm attracted to you.
Period.
But what is beautiful to me???
Let me break it down for you as far as outer appearance...
I love natural beauty. I don't do the whole weave thing...the whole colored contacts thing...the whole red hair thing...the whole fake nails thing...the whole GLOBS of makeup thing...
Talking about it's your hair cuz you paid for it?
No, baby...
I love the natural look...not the let's destroy my hair with all types of chemicals so I can't run because I may sweat it out, or swim because it'll mess it up...
I love the NA-TU-RAL LOOK.
When a woman can roll out of bed and leave the crib and STILL look stunning- THAT is beauty.
Beauty is NOT when you sit around and apply hours worth of make-up on for one night...
No.
That's actually pretty ugly- to be frank.
I was with a girl whom I though looked gorgeous when she woke up.
I used to watch her sleep- no creep.
I mean, I wouldn't be sitting there for HOURS, but when I would wake up in the middle of the night and glance at her, I just couldn't pull my eyes away...
OFF TOPIC!
Anyway, I saw this picture and it made me really think about beaty- and what I thought it was, and I decided to share with YOU what I thought it was.
Behold, BEAUTY!
When you can walk out of the crib in some sweats- Coutre, PINK, Old Navy, whatever and still look amazing- you're beautiful, baby.
Lauren London is now added to my list of gorgeous women...
damn.
Peace & Blessings
Lu
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
The Ironies of Love-- anonymous
A good friend of mind pointed this out to me on her blog...and I felt it.
So...I decided to share it with you...
check it out
The Ironies of Love
"Loving the right person at the wrong time...
having the wrong person when the time is right...
finding out you love someone right after that person walks out of your life. Sometimes you think you're already over a person, but when you see them smile at you......you'll suddenly realize that you're just pretending to be over them just to ease the pain of knowing that they will never be yours again.
For some, letting go is one way of expressing how much they love a person...
Some are afraid to see the one they love being held by someone else.
Most relationships tend to fail not because the absence of love...
Love is always present
-it's just that one was being loved too much and the other was being loved too little.
As we all know that the heart is the center of the body, but it beats on the left...
-maybe that's the reason why the heart is not always right.
Most often we fall in love with the person we think we love, but to only discover that for them, we are just for passing time while the one who truly loves us remains either a friend or a stranger.
So...I decided to share it with you...
check it out
The Ironies of Love
"Loving the right person at the wrong time...
having the wrong person when the time is right...
finding out you love someone right after that person walks out of your life. Sometimes you think you're already over a person, but when you see them smile at you......you'll suddenly realize that you're just pretending to be over them just to ease the pain of knowing that they will never be yours again.
For some, letting go is one way of expressing how much they love a person...
Some are afraid to see the one they love being held by someone else.
Most relationships tend to fail not because the absence of love...
Love is always present
-it's just that one was being loved too much and the other was being loved too little.
As we all know that the heart is the center of the body, but it beats on the left...
-maybe that's the reason why the heart is not always right.
Most often we fall in love with the person we think we love, but to only discover that for them, we are just for passing time while the one who truly loves us remains either a friend or a stranger.
Let go when you're hurting too much...
And move on when things are not like before.
It's certain... there IS someone out there WHO WILL LOVE YOU EVEN MORE..."
-- Anonymous
I hope this could be of help to some...
Peace & Blessings
Lu
WHOOP RICO
Uh oh...
here we go again...
another dance...lol
I'm not hating though, we need to keep this dancing up- it's so much better than having guys sit around and hold the wall up while all the girls dance with each other...
Now everybody can have fun.
Introducing the WHOOP RICO
I just wish that man would take off those glasses...lol. If you're gonna jack swag, jack it right! lol
Wow...those girls are so serious about this dance...lol. They aint playin...like it's a gang or something...
2 questions:
Who the hell is Rico???
Am I too old to do this dance???
Peace & Blessings
Lu
here we go again...
another dance...lol
I'm not hating though, we need to keep this dancing up- it's so much better than having guys sit around and hold the wall up while all the girls dance with each other...
Now everybody can have fun.
Introducing the WHOOP RICO
I just wish that man would take off those glasses...lol. If you're gonna jack swag, jack it right! lol
Wow...those girls are so serious about this dance...lol. They aint playin...like it's a gang or something...
2 questions:
Who the hell is Rico???
Am I too old to do this dance???
Peace & Blessings
Lu
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Ugh
"You like her.
Love her.
I'm convinced. More than ever.
Ya'll are sickening. Lol.
I'll never understand..."
If I had a dime for each time my lil brother said something I didn't want to hear...
Peace & Blessings
Lu
He could have raped you! In the butt!
http://view.break.com/486121 - Watch more free videos
Oh my God...
I would have killed my brother...
in his sleep...
if i was her.
Wow.
If this happened in my family...hm.
In MOST black families...hmph.
She woulda got tore up, HE woulda got tore up...and grounded wouldn't be the word. lol
Wow. nuff said.
Peace & Blessings
Lu
Do you remember???
BOW WOW
the teen phenom...
before he turned cocky and started to curse?
Let us take a trip back...
Bounce with me
What's my name?
He used to be hot...I won't lie. I used to wanna battle him...
And now...IDK what happened...lol
Peace & Blessings
Lu
the teen phenom...
before he turned cocky and started to curse?
Let us take a trip back...
Bounce with me
What's my name?
He used to be hot...I won't lie. I used to wanna battle him...
And now...IDK what happened...lol
Peace & Blessings
Lu
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Bars of thought...
I receive daily texts from a magical creature...gorgeous with a head on her shoulders who's only plan in life is to save and change the world...Somebody I'm glad to have in my life. Somebody I never knew could exist...Thank God she does. These are some of the things the sends...I decided I should share it with you as well. Enjoy!*There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to
achieve- the FEAR of FAILURE**Don't think of what might have been. Instead, look toward what
can be. Live each day to the fullest**Cada quien es el artiquitecto du su propia destino...build
carefully**The darkest hour of the night comes just before dawn**What would you do in life if you weren't afraid?**Meditate on whatever causes a revolution in your mind**People are afraid to pursue their most important dreams
because they feel they don't deserve them, or that they'll be unable to achieve
them**Wherever your heart is, there you will find your
treasure**Where there is life, there is hope**It's the possibility of having a dream come true that makes
life interesting**Accept the past as past without denying it or discarding
it**The greatest danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim
too high and falling short, but in setting our aim too low and achieving our
mark**Compassion isn't religious business, it's human business. It's
not luxury, it's essential for our own peace and mental stability. It's
essential for human survival**YOU must BE the change you wish to see in the world-- Mahatma
Gandhi**WE are what WE'VE been waitign for! -- Barack Obama**That which angers you controls you**The best revenge is living well**Instead of asking people where they're from, try asking where
they are going**Don't forget to love one another. It's the only way we'll ever
survive**If you don't stand for SOMETHING, you will fall for
ANYTHING**Every blessing ignored becomes a curse**Be a VOICE, not an ECHO*
As she says...
The Lovelution has begun
Be encouraged
Spread Peace & Make Love
Spread Love & Know Peace
Peace & Blessings
2 fingers to the sky...keep em high
Lu
I'm willing if you're willing
"I apologize for being such an ass lately...I just have trust issues due to repetitive let-downs when it comes to women. I get cheated on, lied to, led on, and played with...and I'm so tired, babe. So tired. And it's unfair that you have to deal with the reaping that they sowed...So unfair that you must deal with the mess they created...But I can't help it." I looked away as I started to tear up. I could never let her see me cry.
"You have so much patience...so much. And I appreciate it...so much, but I can't show you- not right now. My heart and mind won't let me...You must understand...My heart had been misused. Taken advantage of. Broken, stepped on, thrown around, and drug on the ground. My heart is broken, and the pieces are everywhere. My mind has been stained deeply..." I took her hand. "But honestly, if you're willing to try and work on fixing my heart, and hand washing my mind...I'm willing to let you."
She looked into my eyes, looked through the tears that I was holding back- the tears from the months of pain I endured. The build up of agony that blocked passage to my heart, mind, and soul. She tried to see through it, but it was too thick, too black, and too deep. As far as she knew there was nothing beyond the ache…yet she was willing to find out.
“Baby…” She started. “I come equipped with a tool belt, and a cleaning kit. I’m ready for work.”
I looked at her and smiled.
"I will replace your anguish from her with happiness from me."
--Lucius McCall
Peace & Blessings
Lu
"You have so much patience...so much. And I appreciate it...so much, but I can't show you- not right now. My heart and mind won't let me...You must understand...My heart had been misused. Taken advantage of. Broken, stepped on, thrown around, and drug on the ground. My heart is broken, and the pieces are everywhere. My mind has been stained deeply..." I took her hand. "But honestly, if you're willing to try and work on fixing my heart, and hand washing my mind...I'm willing to let you."
She looked into my eyes, looked through the tears that I was holding back- the tears from the months of pain I endured. The build up of agony that blocked passage to my heart, mind, and soul. She tried to see through it, but it was too thick, too black, and too deep. As far as she knew there was nothing beyond the ache…yet she was willing to find out.
“Baby…” She started. “I come equipped with a tool belt, and a cleaning kit. I’m ready for work.”
I looked at her and smiled.
"I will replace your anguish from her with happiness from me."
--Lucius McCall
Peace & Blessings
Lu
The Battle of the century
I have nothing to say about this...lmao.
wow.
I will not say all that's on my mind, but I will ask why the host keeps holding onto the judge in the middle as if it's his man or something...lol.
Wow.
Peace & Blessings
Lu
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Change
Old Post 3/31/08
Like my fav rapper said:
"Change happens...
some people change for the better...
some people change for the worse...
but some people need to make that change..."-- Fabolous
It's true...as people get older, they go through changes in their life- not only physical. People go through things, they learn from it, and it forms them into the person they are presently as they apply what they've learned to life. There are people who are raised in the hood, and they live their lives always on the defense to keep from being run over in the fast life. They have to hustle to live, yet we call them goons, and shun them. They're a product of their environment. There are women who've always wanted that 'love from a man', due to the lack of it that they receive at home from their fathers- if there's even one present. So they think laying down for various men will get them that love that they yearn for, that connection. Women who've been molested as children, and it tweaks their actions in the future- yet, we call them "hoes", and stupid girls...etc. There are many more examples I can provide, but at the end of the day, I'm saying that change is normal, it's a part of life. People learn from experiences and apply it to living.
Though this is a normal thing, I really hate it when people change for the worse. I hate it when people let certain circumstances form them into a person that's not them- and actually worse than the person they used to be. Like men who get hurt and turn into a 'pimp', or 'player'. Women that get hurt, and decide to curse every human with something extra hanging in their pants. People who get linked up into the business world and lose sense of what's more important in life- something other than making money. People who start to do drugs or drink, and become dependent on it- to people who start to sell drugs, and get extra paranoid, and think everyone is out there to double cross them...the list goes on. I despise it, because I believe that if you're changing, you should change for the better- not the worse. You should try to better yourself, better your standards, better your mindset- to better your being.
The worst part about it is- half the time these people don't even realize that they've changed, and they actually get defensive when you try to place a mirror in their face to show them. They don't like what they see in the mirror, so they try to blame the reasons for their actions on someone else.
Instead of changing the image revealed to them, they try to break the mirror...
Breaking the mirror changes nothing, at least for the better.
Listen, shit happens- excuse my language.
People can do things to you all your life, and things can happen all your life, but it's YOU who controls YOUR actions.
YOU can't change people, but you can surely change what YOU do.
YOU can't change life, but you surely can change what YOU do to react to it...
It's said he who angers you, controls you...that statement deserves to be quoted, because it's true! Nobody should be able to do something to piss you off, because you should be able to control your emotions, and how your emotions make you react. It's all you...so 'the devil made me do it', or 'he did it first' is not an excuse.
I know someone who changed so much that...I just don't look at her the same. I used to love her. I used to adore her. I used to want to be with her...
now I don't even find her attractive anymore.
Physically, mentally, emotionally and whatever else was there, is there no longer...
I honestly don't see anything about her that attracts me anymore...yet I used to think she was the most gorgeous thing I'd ever seen in person.
She was.
Until she changed...
...for the worse.
It's amazing to me how somebody can just flip- for the worst.
Bettering yourself is understandable, but making yourself worse due to whatever...that's bad.
And the worst part is...she doesn't even know. She actually still believes that she's the same gorgeous, smart, humble, classy, graceful woman she used to be...
She hasn't noticed her change. Which makes me despise her even more.
One of her pet peeves used to be hypocrisy...she believed in saying one thing and doing the same- not the opposite. Yet, she did not practice what she preached...
She would say she loved someone...yet act as if she hated them. She would hurt them over and over...and be completely fine with it- as long as she wasn't hurting herself. She was disrespectful. She was selfish- though she never used to be this way. She used to be a giver...and she always gave with a smile.
She preached actions spoke louder than words...which is why I started to believe the person she showed me, and not the person she told me.
Cuz who she told me she was was the woman I'd been searching for, forever...
Miss Hollywood...
and that was NOT her...anymore.
Or maybe even ever, because I don't think a person that strong can be broken into a typical woman...it's impossible. That's weak...a gene not found in Miss Hollywood's blood.
A good friend of both of ours said I created a monster...
No. I am not to blame for another human's actions...
She may blame me for making her into whatever she is now due to how I used to be in the past, due to CHANGING because of getting hurt dozens of times by women, but I thank her for making me a better person. I had to fight for her, I had to learn patience, I had to learn humility...
Now I know how to love, and I'm not scared to find it anymore. I know how to exercise my patience, and show my humility without being a pee-on...
I won't dare let anybody make me worse...
I just leave you with this- stay true to yourself. Know who you are, and be who you are. How many Is do you have? Will what 'I said, I did, I want' now be the same as the 'I said, I did, I want' tomorrow?
Look in the mirror people...Don't be scared. If you don't like what you see, make a change...starting with who you see.
P.S. All in the dark does certainly come to light...one day. You think you know, but you have no idea.
Don't make assumptions...there are no 'shout outs' in this note. Just speaking my mind. If the heels and sneakers fit..wear em!
All love
Lu
Like my fav rapper said:
"Change happens...
some people change for the better...
some people change for the worse...
but some people need to make that change..."-- Fabolous
It's true...as people get older, they go through changes in their life- not only physical. People go through things, they learn from it, and it forms them into the person they are presently as they apply what they've learned to life. There are people who are raised in the hood, and they live their lives always on the defense to keep from being run over in the fast life. They have to hustle to live, yet we call them goons, and shun them. They're a product of their environment. There are women who've always wanted that 'love from a man', due to the lack of it that they receive at home from their fathers- if there's even one present. So they think laying down for various men will get them that love that they yearn for, that connection. Women who've been molested as children, and it tweaks their actions in the future- yet, we call them "hoes", and stupid girls...etc. There are many more examples I can provide, but at the end of the day, I'm saying that change is normal, it's a part of life. People learn from experiences and apply it to living.
Though this is a normal thing, I really hate it when people change for the worse. I hate it when people let certain circumstances form them into a person that's not them- and actually worse than the person they used to be. Like men who get hurt and turn into a 'pimp', or 'player'. Women that get hurt, and decide to curse every human with something extra hanging in their pants. People who get linked up into the business world and lose sense of what's more important in life- something other than making money. People who start to do drugs or drink, and become dependent on it- to people who start to sell drugs, and get extra paranoid, and think everyone is out there to double cross them...the list goes on. I despise it, because I believe that if you're changing, you should change for the better- not the worse. You should try to better yourself, better your standards, better your mindset- to better your being.
The worst part about it is- half the time these people don't even realize that they've changed, and they actually get defensive when you try to place a mirror in their face to show them. They don't like what they see in the mirror, so they try to blame the reasons for their actions on someone else.
Instead of changing the image revealed to them, they try to break the mirror...
Breaking the mirror changes nothing, at least for the better.
Listen, shit happens- excuse my language.
People can do things to you all your life, and things can happen all your life, but it's YOU who controls YOUR actions.
YOU can't change people, but you can surely change what YOU do.
YOU can't change life, but you surely can change what YOU do to react to it...
It's said he who angers you, controls you...that statement deserves to be quoted, because it's true! Nobody should be able to do something to piss you off, because you should be able to control your emotions, and how your emotions make you react. It's all you...so 'the devil made me do it', or 'he did it first' is not an excuse.
I know someone who changed so much that...I just don't look at her the same. I used to love her. I used to adore her. I used to want to be with her...
now I don't even find her attractive anymore.
Physically, mentally, emotionally and whatever else was there, is there no longer...
I honestly don't see anything about her that attracts me anymore...yet I used to think she was the most gorgeous thing I'd ever seen in person.
She was.
Until she changed...
...for the worse.
It's amazing to me how somebody can just flip- for the worst.
Bettering yourself is understandable, but making yourself worse due to whatever...that's bad.
And the worst part is...she doesn't even know. She actually still believes that she's the same gorgeous, smart, humble, classy, graceful woman she used to be...
She hasn't noticed her change. Which makes me despise her even more.
One of her pet peeves used to be hypocrisy...she believed in saying one thing and doing the same- not the opposite. Yet, she did not practice what she preached...
She would say she loved someone...yet act as if she hated them. She would hurt them over and over...and be completely fine with it- as long as she wasn't hurting herself. She was disrespectful. She was selfish- though she never used to be this way. She used to be a giver...and she always gave with a smile.
She preached actions spoke louder than words...which is why I started to believe the person she showed me, and not the person she told me.
Cuz who she told me she was was the woman I'd been searching for, forever...
Miss Hollywood...
and that was NOT her...anymore.
Or maybe even ever, because I don't think a person that strong can be broken into a typical woman...it's impossible. That's weak...a gene not found in Miss Hollywood's blood.
A good friend of both of ours said I created a monster...
No. I am not to blame for another human's actions...
She may blame me for making her into whatever she is now due to how I used to be in the past, due to CHANGING because of getting hurt dozens of times by women, but I thank her for making me a better person. I had to fight for her, I had to learn patience, I had to learn humility...
Now I know how to love, and I'm not scared to find it anymore. I know how to exercise my patience, and show my humility without being a pee-on...
I won't dare let anybody make me worse...
I just leave you with this- stay true to yourself. Know who you are, and be who you are. How many Is do you have? Will what 'I said, I did, I want' now be the same as the 'I said, I did, I want' tomorrow?
Look in the mirror people...Don't be scared. If you don't like what you see, make a change...starting with who you see.
P.S. All in the dark does certainly come to light...one day. You think you know, but you have no idea.
Don't make assumptions...there are no 'shout outs' in this note. Just speaking my mind. If the heels and sneakers fit..wear em!
All love
Lu
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
"Love...Peace"
Love......
It’s thick on my palms- I’m just trying to spread it
Pride tries to dilute it, yet I won’t let it
Hate tries to dilute it, yet I won’t let it
Instead I add patience and humbleness, so I can stretch it
I have a lot on my mind, it’s clogging my vents
Slowing me down, blocking happiness like a fence
So I tear it down, clean it out- make the word stress a past tense
Can you hear me now? Forget a mike- I have my mind set
I’m writing this, because some of you need to get your mind checked
As I do too, I won’t EVER claim I’m innocent
As do you- nothing but ego as your incentive
...until we're all without sin, let's stay off the pulpit...
To be honest, holding on to friends is getting real tiring
I’m a friend all the time, not only when I feel like it
They’re friends when it’s convenient, when they have time for it
I hear the whispers behind my back, I just try to ignore it
But among this, there are other things that I find sad
One of the saddest is my sisters allowing themselves to be changed by man
From a beautiful princess to a female dog,
And then you turn around and claim to be strong?
Come on, ladies- keep your head up, don’t let him change you
Change is cool, but if he’s acting up, ma- just change dude!
They’re many men out there that’ll treat you how you want to be treated
You need what you deserve, and deserve what you need
Don’t settle, wait until you feel you can reach the top shelf
And if YOU change, YOU can only blame YOURself.
Stay a queen, don't dare change- let him see what he missed
cuz you'll be getting down to his dog level if you turn into a "bitch"
I apologize for the men out here sexing girls without even taking names
Cause’ to them, “pussy is pussy- it don’t even got a face”
So focused on that one aim, they don’t even see your traits
That’s why it’s so easy for you to be replaced…
My sisters, be ladies, stay fresh- preserve yourself
Think smart, don’t hurt yourself…
Don’t eat the stale fruit he feeds you, or fall for his lies
Open your eyes, LOOK- don’t be blind
Make him work and wait for the pie
If he’s comfortable with giving you time
Then you know he truly wants you for your mind
Save your slices- share only with those who deserve a bite
So he’ll love you all and every day- not just on those nights
When pie’s in the oven too much, it does burn
This is a lesson that you don’t want to learn...
Keep your mouth closed, my people- let your eyes listen
Take a look- examine characteristics
See their true being, not the person they make-up
Because half these people are just personalities people gave them
Hold on…wait.
Pause.
Rewind.
Huh?
Read carefully…
Play.
See their true being, not the person they make up
Because half of these people are JUST the personalities people gave them
Check them out, not who they make themselves out to be
There must be a GAS station giving swag out for free!
No more surface scratching, I’m going DEEP on my search for beauty
Cause’ a person’s grandeur may only be skin deep...
See, at the start she or he will seem perfect
But give them some time, their core will surface
In the beginning you just see the foundation, the make-up that they wear
Apply some pressure, and immediately see the make-up get smeared
When push comes to shove, people’s masks tear off
Make-up...it's there, but eventually it does wear off
I said this make-up…it’s there…but it does wear off...
So I don’t applaud, or award these people and their magnificent acting
Because once the Revlon's gone, it’ll expose their acne
Be yourself, don’t dare place YOU to the side
******Imitation is suicide******
And something else, it’s okay if she’s with someone else
Losing me is fine- as long as she finds herself
I won’t be bitter, I won’t diss her, I want nothing but her best interest
I can’t change the fact that love makes you senseless
And I can't get mad when I see HER with a brand new man
Because at the end of the day, I just want HER happiness in the end
I just wanted HER pleased, and if she couldn't be
with me, but he......?
Then I'm pleased
And I can honestly say that I’m not in college for me
I’m here so when I leave, my mom would need for nothing but sleep
Cause she’ll have the Geoffrey, the cars, the house on the beach
-reciprocation for all the sacrifices she endured for me
I laid off pride, now I’m employing humility
And since I brought you some love, I’ll leave you with
......peace
"You're not supposed to explain to your reader what they're supposed to get from your poem."-- Prof. Marty (Creative Writing)
--Lucius McCall
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Summer
It's amazing how the days are looking lately...
Summer is here, and if not- it's coming.
You step outside, and the air smells different, the skies look different- nature has changed.
I love waking up to the sun beaming into my room, walking outside and feeling the light breeze mixing with the beat of the sun on my skin...forming that balance...
See, it's about balance.
The weather can't be too hot, or too cold...that's off balance.
A nice balance is the heat, washed away with the light breeze...so you feel the sun's love, but aren't burned by it's power...
Summertime is a great tiem to clear my head and think...
Expect alot of writing. lol
Anyway, be blessed...because you are. If you can open your eyes and see how gorgeous it is outside...appreciate it.
Lu
That Notebook Kind...
"Yeah, man." I continued. "I remember she woke up for class, kissed me and left. I think she expected me to be there upon her return, and I wanted to be there, but I had work I needed to finish up. So I left, but before I did, I tore out a piece of paper from one of her notebooks and wrote '143' on it, along with a smiley face. I made up her bed a little, and rested it on top."
There was silence on the other side of the phone.
"Hello?" I called.
My best friend broke the silence. "What kinda Notebook shit?"
I almost dropped the phone from laughing so hard...
Notebook love?
I wish.
But it's great when you can look back at the past and smile about it...instead of frown upon it.
I've ALWAYS wanted to ride a canoe with my lady...
sigh...
One day.
The Notebook is a great movie- see it if you haven't.
Peace & Blessings
Lu
There was silence on the other side of the phone.
"Hello?" I called.
My best friend broke the silence. "What kinda Notebook shit?"
I almost dropped the phone from laughing so hard...
Notebook love?
I wish.
But it's great when you can look back at the past and smile about it...instead of frown upon it.
I've ALWAYS wanted to ride a canoe with my lady...
sigh...
One day.
The Notebook is a great movie- see it if you haven't.
Peace & Blessings
Lu
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
I find it amazing...
...that her smile still does something to me...
She smiled alot yesterday...
Ugh.
When will I be able to see it and feel nothing...?
How ironic- new joint by Bobby Valentino & Wayne...
She smiled alot yesterday...
Ugh.
When will I be able to see it and feel nothing...?
How ironic- new joint by Bobby Valentino & Wayne...
Check it out
Your Smile
Peace & Blessings
Lu
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